“We’re getting married in 3 months and we are planning on greeting our guests at the reception with a drink. As my fiancé and I don’t like champagne ourselves we wanted to serve something a bit different. Please can you help with some suggestions for alternatives to champagne?”
This was my reply:
Welcome drinks are traditionally served as a polite way of greeting your guests upon arrival at your wedding reception and thanking them for attending. Whilst in the olden days a small glass of sherry was offered to guests the more modern choice nowadays is for champagne to be served. However, as with all wedding planning, there are no hard and fast rules about what drinks should be served to guests at a wedding reception so it goes without saying that if you would prefer to steer clear of serving champagne you should feel free to choose from a number of other popular welcome drinks.
Here are some tasty alternatives to champagne:
♥ Fruit wine punch
♥ Pimms & Lemonade (great for summer weddings)
♥ Mulled wine (great for winter weddings)
♥ Whisky (at my wedding we offered guests a delicious single malt whisky chosen by my husband, which went down very well with both our Scottish and English guests!)
♥ Cider
♥ Red or white wine
♥ Sparkling wine - If you do decide to offer something fizzy to your guests you could try sparkling wine in conjunction with orange juice (Bucks Fizz), cranberry juice (Cranberry Fizz) or with cherry liqueur such as Kirsh (Kir Royale) - these make really fun fruity drinks
♥ Cocktails
For the ultimate “wow” factor at your wedding reception you should impress your wedding guests by serving a stylish cocktail. Cocktails being served at weddings are a growing trend and most reception venues nowadays will be able to accommodate your choice of cocktail. Once you have decided on which cocktail you would like to be served, speak to your reception bar-staff and ensure that they are satisfied that they know how to make your chosen cocktail and agree on how it will be served.
You have not mentioned what your budget is but if you are keeping to a tight budget you should definitely choose one signature wedding cocktail rather than a couple of well-known cocktails. You can ask your reception bar-staff for ideas or research the choice of cocktail yourself. Don’t be afraid to get creative when concocting your dream wedding cocktail. Once you have chosen a cocktail you should give it a fun name which is unique to your wedding. I love the names which Brides.com have given to the exclusive cocktails in their “Cool Cocktails” Gallery, such as the “Honey I Dew” and “Bridal Bouquet". Anything which can set your wedding apart from the rest (for the right reasons) is a good think and by choosing your own distinctive signature cocktail you will not only be serving up a delicious treat to your wedding guests but you will also be creating a conversation piece amongst them.
Something to also bear in mind is that serving cocktails at your wedding provides you with an ideal opportunity to carry your wedding theme and color schemes through to the drinks served. For example, if the color scheme of your wedding is purple then how about serving a cocktail containing grape juice such as Purple Passion to co-ordinate with your wedding colors, or if your colors are blue serve a cocktail containing Blue Curacao such as a Blue Hawaii or if red is the main color in your wedding theme then how about serving the infamous Cosmopolitan.
Whether you opt to serve a contemporary Mojito or a classic Martini at your wedding reception I assure you your guests are guaranteed to have smiles on their faces!
For more ideas on cocktails which you could serve at your wedding check out the ten fabulous wedding cocktails at Youandyourwedding.co.uk.
Remember also when making your reception drinks choices that both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks should be available, ideally with a choice of two of each type. Still or sparkling water should always be available as a non-alcoholic option, as well as something a little more exciting such as an alcohol-free fruit punch or an alcohol-free version of your signature cocktail.
No matter whether your wedding reception is a casual or elegant affair any of the above drink choices when served as a welcome drink to your guests are guaranteed to bring some pizzazz to your celebration.
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What’s more difficult than delivering the perfect wedding speech? Writing the perfect wedding speech. It might seem like an easy enough task, but it can make you feel a bit like a chocoholic trapped in a chocolate factory - you know what to do, but where do you begin? Even when you’ve started putting pen to paper, you often realise that what sounded great in your head, doesn’t sound as good once it’s written down (yes, I am writing from experience)! Before you know it, your head’s banging, and you’re surrounded by torn up sheets of paper everywhere. Add to that the need to get the balance of humour and sentiment just right, and you’ll want to shoot whoever invented wedding speeches!
The main purpose of the speech is to congratulate the happy couple, and wish them all the best in their new life together. The general idea is that the father of the bride and groom keep their speeches both touching, and humorous, while the best man has to be light-hearted and entertaining. Each speech involves thanking the relevant people, a few anecdotes, and ends with a toast, which many think is just an excuse to knock back more champagne (so it’s all good)! If it’s that simple, what could go wrong?
Well, in a word, plenty! Traditional wedding speeches may follow a similar pattern, but each speech, speaker, situation etc, will undoubtedly be unique, and it’s important that each speaker knows what to say, who to thank, how to respond to a toast and to whom to propose a toast. The secret often lies in the preparation and planning process, which if done correctly, will give a focused and polished result. Everyone remembers a lousy wedding speech, where the speech is unstructured and uninteresting, the speaker incoherent and rambling, and the guests have lost the will to live. But everyone also remembers a fabulous one, which raises laughs in all the right places, and causes the odd tear to be shed. Want to know how it’s done? Keep reading!
PLANNING:
At the risk of sounding like my old English teacher, planning is essential:
♥ Have a brainstorming session, and jot down everything you might want to include in your speech. Bear in mind that you won’t need to use everything (not unless you plan on boring guests for five hours), but it gives you somewhere to start.
♥ Show your ideas to family/friends/work colleagues, and anyone else who might have anything to add.
♥ Feel free to ask around for anecdotes about members of the wedding party.
♥ It’s amazing how often random, but useful thoughts pop into your head when you least expect it, so carry a notebook around with you as much as possible to note down any ideas you might have. Unfortunately, there can be a tendency for these flashes of inspiration to occur at awkward moments, like when you’re doing 70mph down the motorway, or when there’s a long queue behind you at the supermarket checkout. These are times when it’s totally impractical to whip out your notebook (not unless you want to get hit on the head with a baguette by an irate shopper for holding up the queue), but do try to record your thoughts whenever possible, because chances are you may not remember them later.
WRITING:
This is where the fun begins, and you can finally start putting all the information together to write out your speech.
♥ Start sifting through your notes to find material you really do want to use in your speech. Remember your speech needs to be between 5-10 minutes long (preferably five), so be selective, as you can’t use everything.
♥ Start writing your first draft. You’ll probably have to redraft several times before you find a version you’re happy with, so don’t worry if your first attempt is far from perfect.
♥ Going into English teacher mode again, give your speech a beginning, a middle, and an end. This prevents your speech from sounding ‘all over the place,’ and gives it some structure and balance:
BEGINNING:
♥ Greet everyone according to the formality of the occasion (‘Ladies and Gentleman’ – formal. ‘Friends and Relatives’ – informal. ‘Hi everyone’ – what’s formality?!)
♥ Open your speech with an attention grabbing statement, to ensure everyone pays attention (Please note: Your aim is to grab their attention, not shock them into a stunned silence). You could open with a humorous statement, a relevant quotation, or by comparing the occasion, to a well known event (if any) which occurred on that date.
MIDDLE:
♥ This is the main part of the speech. You could just mention the necessary thank yous (if you wish to keep it simple), or maybe slip in one or two short stories.
♥ The father of the bride might wish to talk about what his daughter was like growing up, and remark upon what a charming, delightful, and wonderful young woman she has grown up to be (no doubt when it’s my turn, I’ll have to pay my dad to say something positive. I’ll have to pay him extra to sound convincing)!
♥ The groom can talk about your meeting, courtship, proposal, etc.
♥ The best man can talk about his friendship with the groom, and how delighted he is that his friend has found the ‘perfect woman.’
END:
♥ This is where you wish the happy couple well, and ask everyone to join you in a toast.
♥ When redrafting your speech ask someone to assist you if necessary, but avoid asking too many people for advice, as the words ‘cooks’ ‘spoils’ and ‘broth’ instantly come to mind. Ask someone whose judgement you trust.
♥ My assignments for university were littered with ‘big’ words which I’d randomly picked out of a dictionary in an attempt to make myself look clever. It didn’t work because most of the time I didn’t fully understand what the word meant (but at least my lecturers had a good laugh). The moral of the story is, use words and phrases you are familiar with, and speak in plain English so that everyone will understand. Guests will not be impressed if they have to reach for the dictionary for the duration of your speech.
BRIDE/CHIEF BRIDESMAID:
♥ The bride and chief bridesmaid – if they are planning on making speeches- are lucky in that there is no traditional set of conventions for them to follow, as women did not traditionally make wedding speeches. So you’re free to say what you like – within reason of course!
♥ As the groom has more thank yous to make than Gwyneth Paltrow did in that acceptance speech (parents for their help, guests for attending and for gifts received, best man for his help, bride for becoming his wife etc) these could be divided between the bride and groom.
♥ The bride could propose a toast to the best man, parents, or all the guests, or even to absent friends and family, if you would like to acknowledge anyone who was unable to attend or has passed away.
It is uncommon for the chief bridesmaid to make a speech, and I am thankful that I have never had to make one (though probably not as thankful as everyone else). However, if you are going to make a speech, you could:
♥ Speak for yourself and on behalf of the bridesmaids, and say how delighted and honoured you all are that you were chosen for such a special task.
♥ Add a couple of anecdotes about your friendship with the bride and groom.
♥ Propose a toast to the ushers. Which leads me to ask, why doesn’t anyone acknowledge the ushers in speeches? Handing out buttonholes, hymn books, orders of service, helping guests to park etc. They work so hard, and get so little credit. So not fair!
GENERAL POINTERS:
♥ There are going to be people of all ages present, so make sure the language you use is appropriate for big and little ears alike.
♥ Jokes and humorous anecdotes that go down well on a night out in the pub with your mates, for some bizarre reason, aren’t always well received at weddings. Make sure the gags are suitable to the occasion.
♥ It’s all very well going down memory lane, but not if you’re going to mention rifts and other past incidents which are best forgotten. Remember, this is a real life wedding – not an episode of Eastenders!
♥ It’s acceptable to make jokes at other people’s expense if it’s done in good taste and with affection. Leave out anything that you think someone might find upsetting, or at the very least double check that it’s ok to say what you want. And only offend the bride and/or her mother if you have a death wish!
♥ Don’t be afraid to make your speech as soppy as you like. It is a wedding after all, and events like these were the reason why waterproof mascara was invented and why Kleenex is still in business. And a few (happy) tears never hurt anyone.
♥ Don’t feel under pressure to make your speech hysterically funny. If you’re not a natural born comedian, and let’s face it, we can’t all be Russell Peters, you could include some well chosen and meaningful quotations.
♥ Prepare a list of everyone you have to thank.
♥ The best speeches are not 10 hours long. Read your speech out aloud and time yourself.
♥ There are some very useful books and websites, which give great in-depth advice on how to write the perfect speech, and better still, give examples, so they’re worth checking out.
♥ There are mixed views on how to use the content found in books and on the net. Some sources have suggested that it’s fine to copy huge chunks of material and pass it off as your own. I would suggest that you look to this material for inspiration only. Aim to make your speech your own.
AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS…
… Call in the professionals. No, not Bodie and Doyle, but you’ll be pleased to know that professional speech writers who specialise in wedding speeches do exist. So if you’re still having trouble coming up with something half decent, or it’s all very last minute dot com, then it’s worth looking them up. Be warned though, they don’t come cheap, but the time saved and complete peace of mind you receive might be worth every penny.
A good speech writer doesn’t deal in standard speeches or off the peg gags. They spend a great deal of time working on personalising each speech so that it’s totally unique. Some even work alongside a professional joke writer, so there won’t be any tired old jokes. And of course you can always take the credit for having written a witty, sentimental, and thought provoking speech!
Is waltzing round the dance floor at your wedding reception to the gentle crooning of Celine Dion not enough of a show-stopper for you? Perhaps you want to make a bold statement and have your first dance stand out in the memories of your guests. One of the hottest wedding trends is to learn a choreographed routine for your first dance as husband and wife. As I mentioned in my previous blog increasing numbers of newlyweds are abandoning waltzing to traditional classics and instead are performing strategically planned dance displays to music such as the signature tune to Dirty Dancing, MC Hammer's “Can't Touch This” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.
According to Adam Gardner and Gemma Rogers of wedding dance company First Dance UK,
"It's very rare for a couple to just ask to be taught the waltz. A lot of the requests are weird and wonderful”.
You only have to take a look at one of the many videos of other couples performing their first dance on YouTube or GoogleVideo to see this for yourself. I’m just hoping one of the couples whose weddings I am due to attend later this year decide to copy the Austin Powers theme tune dance – it looks hilarious!
Whilst I’ve mentioned before that I love newlyweds Brian and Sandy Lundmark’s awe-inspiring rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance, I have to say my new personal favorite amongst the first dance wedding videos on You Tube is the body popping couple – it is so cool.
This is a wedding trend which does not look likely to end anytime soon. In fact UKTV Style have devoted a new show, “First Dance”, to just that! Each show follows one of 15 couples on their journey from learning their specially-choreographed secret routine to executing it at their wedding reception. According to the Sun Newspaper newlyweds Andrea and George Georgiou from Edmonton, who feature in the show, said they wanted to try something a bit different for their wedding day. They spent weeks preparing for their first dance to perform in front of their 500 wedding guests and their verdict was,
"It was a bit nerve wracking but when it came to do the dance, all the lights went down and everyone was laughing and cheering as we performed. It was amazing."
If you want your first dance to be a show-stopper and know nothing at all about dancing above and beyond a quick boogie at your local club then perhaps you should think about engaging the services of a dance choreographer. Companies such as First Dance UK offer a helping hand by teaching couples how to put together a dance routine for their wedding to surprise their guests. The choreographers can come to your own home and teach you a unique routine tailor-made to your choice of song and to your dancing ability. You don’t need to have any previous dance experience. A 1 hour trial lesson, costing £60, is recommended if you simply want to learn a few basic moves that you can link together for your first dance song. Alternatively, if you want to learn a full routine for your first dance song they offer a package of 5 lessons for £250.
Whatever you decide to do before you embark on the challenge of organizing your first dance here are some tips:
Top Tips For Orchestrating Your First Dance
Initial decisions
♥ You don’t have to be an exhibitionist to try a choreographed first dance - nobody is going to force you to re-enact the legendary dance sequence from Dirty Dancing. You could try something as straightforward as learning how to foxtrot round the dance floor or a few simple spins, dips and salsa moves. Whatever you do it is sure to be memorable to both you and your wedding guests (hopefully for the right reasons!).
♥ You can choose private lessons with a choreographer, as mentioned above, or opt for the cheaper alternative which is group classes at your local community center or school.
♥ If you are on a tight budget and cannot factor dance lessons into your wedding plans then how about working out your own dance routine. Plenty of couples do it (take a look at the videos on YouTube to see other DIY first dances). Even if you don’t have the dancing prowess of Cheryl Burke or Patrick Swayze you can still put together a first dance sure to impress your wedding guests.
♥ Be creative! The abovementioned newlyweds who body popped their way through their first dance came up with the choreography themselves. See what unique dance ideas you and your fiancé can come up with yourselves. You don’t necessarily need a professional choreographer or dance lessons, all you need is some confidence, the desire to entertain your wedding guests and a willingness to have plenty fun.
♥ If you are looking for inspiration then look no further than the internet. As mentioned, there are hundreds of videos to choose from on the web.
♥ There are also many easy-to-follow instructional videos and DVDs available to buy or rent which can teach you dance moves in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
♥ Initially you should decide on a song you would like to dance to. There are plenty of options available to you. If you are undecided about your first dance song check the list at Firstdance.com which has a huge selection of appropriate wedding dance songs and also check out my blog.
♥ The best type of song to use for your first dance is one with a distinctive beat which is easy to hear.
♥ If you are having trouble picking a song try practicing some dance moves together to your favorite 2 or 3 songs. Settle on whichever of the songs you both feel most comfortable dancing to.
♥ Once you have chosen your first dance song let your choreographer know your choice. They might well ask you to let them have a CD copy of the song so that they can listen to it in advance of your first meeting to begin to visualize a suitable dance routine for you.
♥ It is best that you dance to recorded music so that you get used to the timing of it and know exactly what to expect on your big day.
♥ However, if you are intending to dance to live music make sure the band know how you want the song to be played. Provide them with a CD copy of the song you would like to dance to so that they can familiarize themselves with it before the wedding day. Additionally, it would be wise to hear the band play in person or request a recording of their version of your chosen song so that you can be sure they are going to play an accurate version for your first dance.
♥ Alternatively you might prefer to copy a well-known dance routine (e.g. Dirty Dancing, Thriller, Pulp Fiction) and use the specific song which goes in tandem with it.
♥ Another decision you will need to make early on is whether or not you would like your choreographed first dance to be a secret or not. Part of the appeal is surely to see your guests’ shocked reactions on your wedding day as you wow them with your first dance?
♥ Once you have decided this, consider whether you would like to invite family members or members of your bridal party to participate in the dance with you (I say participate because under no circumstances should you force an unwilling groomsman, bridesmaid etc to take part in the first dance if they are at all reluctant!). If they are agreeable you could arrange group dance lessons (see the “Thriller” video for an example of how much fun you could have as a dancing troupe).
♥ Some people feel that the first dance is the bride and groom’s moment to shine in the spotlight and thus the wedding party should not be included in it. If you feel this way but want to include them in your dance routine somehow you could have them participate in the latter part of the routine (check out the Dirty Dancing routine where the bridal party joined in at the end of the dance – it was really effective, particularly as the groomsmen were able to assist the couple with perfecting the infamous lift at the end of the song!).
♥ Alternatively you could consider a second song for the wedding party to perform their own dance routine. I absolutely love this video of the bride’s father, brother, brother-in-law and groomsman replicating Ok Go’s dance routine to “Here It Goes Again” – what a fabulous way of entertaining your wedding guests. Your only fear with something like this happening at your wedding is that they will steal you and your spouse’s thunder on the dance floor!
♥ When learning the moves for your first dance try not to be overly ambitious. There is no point in you and your fiancé pushing yourselves beyond your comfort zone – you want to look happy and comfortable during your first dance not like a couple of deer caught in headlights! Be aware of your limitations and adapt the dance to suit you and your dancing ability. For example in one of the episodes of “First Dance” the groom-to-be suffered a bad back so he opted out of lifting his bride-to-be during the first dance routine they learnt.
The 3 minute rule
♥ One of the most important things to bear in mind when choosing the song to dance your first dance to is that less is always more! You don’t want to choose a song that lasts longer than 3 minutes or you run the risk of losing your audience’s attention.
♥ Just as wedding speeches should be kept short and sweet so that they don't bore your wedding guests, the same applies with your first dance. Ok, you might have spent months practicing the moves and you really want your guests to appreciate all of your hard work, but you can achieve this in 3 minutes – you don’t have to let the first dance drag on.
♥ Remember that your first dance is supposed to be a gift to your guests not a means of torturing them!
♥ If you do choose a song which lasts longer than 3 minutes, bear in mind that you do not need to dance to the entire song. Ask your DJ or nominated person in charge of music at your reception to cut the song or fade it out after a pre-determined point or if you are having a live band ask them to play a shortened version.
♥ Alternatively you could invite your wedding party or even your guests as a whole to join you on the dance floor for the latter part of the song. Just make a decision in advance of the wedding day and let your DJ or person in charge of your music know what is going to happen once your 3 minutes in the spotlight are up!
Practice makes perfect
♥ You should plan your first dance well in advance of your wedding as you will need as much practice as possible. Ideally you should begin practicing your first dance 6 months ahead of time. If this is not possible, at the very least you should start your private lessons or your own practice sessions at least 3 months in advance of your wedding.
♥ The earlier you start practicing your dance routine the more time you will have to make necessary changes before your wedding day. Having to make last-minute alterations to your choice of music, style of dance, etc are very likely to cause you stress (something couples certainly do not need in the weeks prior to their wedding day!).
♥ First Dance UK recommend that typically couples require 5 hours of lessons to learn a first dance routine.
♥ If you are involving friends and family in your first dance routine you must find time as a group to practice together. It can sometimes be tricky to schedule practice sessions for a large group. Make sure they can all commit to the practice sessions before you start learning your dance routine. It would be a shame if members of the group decided to pull out once you have started rehearsals.
♥ Get as much practice with your fiancé as you possibly can (at least twice a week). The more you rehearse your first dance the more comfortable and confident you will feel and look on the actual wedding day.
♥ If you are having private dance lessons, practice in between them at home. All you need is half an hour here and there and a bit of clear floor space.
♥ Whilst it is important that you get to know every beat of the music in your first dance song, choreographers recommend that you practice the dance routine without the music too - this will help you to focus solely on perfecting your dance moves.
♥ Remember that you are not a professional dance duo. Don’t be too hard on each other whilst you are learning and practicing your dance routine. It is inevitable that you will make mistakes but the important thing is to keep practicing and not fall out over it.
♥ In the run up to your wedding you want to be able to enjoy your dance lessons with your fiancé so make sure you allow enough time. Taking an hour out of your schedules once a week in the busy build up to your wedding will probably be beneficial to both of you. Your dance sessions can become a date night where you spend time together and enjoy each others company away from all of your other stresses, strains and wedding preparations.
Dress to impress
♥ It is important when planning your first dance to think carefully about what you will be wearing on your wedding day. You need to be able to comfortably perform all of your dance moves.
♥ Check the length of your wedding dress. If it is too long your dancing partner might step on it during the first dance. During your dress fittings check that your heels are not likely to get caught in its hem. Ideally the hem should be at least 1.5cm off the floor.
♥ If you have a wedding train be sure that you have the option to pin it up at the back or have it attached to your wrist to keep it swept up and out of the way during the first dance.
♥ You might find that the shape of your wedding dress dictates what style of dance you are able to perform. For example, if you have chosen a dramatic ball gown style with a full skirt are you really going to be able to participate in a swing dance? If you are wearing a low cut strapless wedding dress are you definitely going to be able to execute a backward bend during the first dance without showing more than a bride should?
♥ Is your dress tight fitting? Will you be able to dance comfortably in it?
♥ If you have any worries at all about your ability to perform your chosen dance routine in your wedding attire, let your dance teacher know.
♥ You might well find that some dance moves have to be moderated if your dress restricts them. For example, if you are unable to comfortably raise your arms in your wedding dress then you will be unable to incorporate spins into your dance routine as these require you to raise you arms above your head.
♥ Whilst watching one of the first dance videos on You Tube I couldn’t help but notice that every time the groom was spinning his bride on the dance floor both he and she were catching their hands and arms on her huge tiara. If you are wearing a tiara as part of your wedding attire choose one which is not going to hinder your all important dance moves. My advice is to have a practice waving your hands above your head when choosing a suitable tiara - you might get some strange looks in the shop but it will give you one less thing to worry about during your first dance.
♥ The best thing you can do when practicing your first dance is to dress in clothing similar to that which you intend to wear on your wedding day. In last week’s "First Dance" show the choreographer arranged for a mock-up of the bride’s fish-tail wedding dress to be made up in cheap fabric for her to practice in.
♥ If the groom-to-be intends on keeping his jacket on for the first dance then it makes sense that he should practice the dance routine in a jacket. This will be a great way for him to determine whether or not his dance moves will be restricted by wearing a jacket.
♥ It is also important to make sure that you feel comfortable dancing in your wedding shoes. You should wear the shoes you plan to wear for your actual first dance to your dance lessons. This is important, so that you not only have the chance to practice your dance routine in your wedding shoes but you will also be breaking them in so that they adjust and stretch to fit your feet prior to your big day.
♥ To avoid getting your wedding shoes damaged or scuffed during dance rehearsals you could wear a similar style of shoe to get used to the heel height etc or you could protect your actual wedding shoes by covering them with athletic socks or nylon stockings.
♥ For the groom it is very important that he makes sure that the soles of his wedding shoes are suitable for the proposed dance floor surface. The last thing you want is for the groom to be sliding about the dance floor (keep in mind the episode of Friends where Chandler surprises Monica by announcing he's been taking dancing lessons but his wedding shoes are so slippery, he is incapable of dancing!).
♥ Also, if the groom is going to be wearing patent leather shoes for the dance, make sure that you break them in prior to the wedding dance as they tend to squeak when rubbed together. The solution is to rub some petroleum jelly or even hair conditioner onto the shoes where they rub.
♥ If your shoes are too uncomfortable or impractical to perform your first dance in then there is nothing to stop you changing your footwear prior to the dance.
♥ The same goes for your clothing - there is no shame in changing into an alternative outfit to perform your first dance in if you feel more comfortable doing so. Changing your clothing could be beneficial if you are copying a known dance routine (the groom in the Dirty Dancing video on YouTube changed from his wedding outfit into a black vest top and trousers, so he totally looked the part). Consider your choice of clothes carefully – are you really going to feel relaxed body popping in your voluminous princess style wedding dress!
Get to know your dance floor
♥ The last thing you want before you perform your first dance on your wedding day are any last minute surprises so make sure you know the exact layout, size and shape of your wedding reception dance floor well in advance.
♥ Even if you cannot see the actual space in situ you can at least ask the hotel or venue manager for the measurements of the dance floor you will be using on your wedding day.
♥ If you have an idea of the size and shape your dance space will be you can practice and get used to dancing in the same amount of space. Whilst watching the show "First Dance" I noticed that the choreographer marked out the dimensions of the couple’s proposed wedding dance floor on the floor of her dance studio with tape for their practice sessions. This is a great idea as it means that if you are expecting to dance in an awkward shaped dance space on your wedding day you will be well used to it. You don’t want to run the risk of having your first dance cut short as you crash into a wall or collide with a pillar do you!
♥ The size of your dance space can influence what type of dance routine you are able to perform for your first dance. If the space is miniscule you might have to moderate your routine and do similar dance moves but on a smaller scale.
♥ If possible examine the dance space in person and try dancing on it (or at the very least walking on it) with your wedding shoes on. If your chosen dance space has a highly polished floor covering such as marble you might find it to be quite slippery to dance on (again, think of Chandler in Friends ending up in the splits position on the dance floor – not how you want your wedding guests to remember your first dance!). At least if you know what flooring you will be working with in advance you can adjust your dance routine accordingly.
♥ In the same vein, if your wedding reception is going to be outdoors make sure that there is going to be a proper dance floor installed for you on your wedding day. If performing your first dance on grass is your only option then make sure you have plenty of practice dancing on this type of surface (and remember that the bride will definitely have to forsake her high heeled wedding shoes unless she wants to get stuck in the grass!).
♥ When looking at your dance space you should plan where you are going to start and end your first dance. If you are using a professional choreographer take their advice as to what will work best on your wedding day.
♥ Once you have decided, make sure that the wedding reception venue staff, DJ/band members/person in charge of your music, photographer, videographer and anyone else assisting you with your first dance (including backing dancers) know precisely where you will be entering the dance floor and where you will be exiting. You want helpers who are aware of your surprise first dance to be able to direct the wedding guests to the dance floor area at the right time and position them appropriately without any guests, venue staff or band members encroaching on your dance space!
Things to remember in the run up to your wedding day
♥ Ensure your DJ, band leader or nominated person in charge of music at your wedding reception is clear about when you are starting your dance routine and what is happening at the end of it.
♥ You are better off performing your first dance at the beginning of your wedding reception’s entertainment. Once the dance is out of the way you can relax and enjoy the rest of the party.
♥ Make sure your DJ has the correct version of the song you want to dance to – sometimes songs have alternative and remixed versions. It’s probably best to provide the DJ with a CD of your song just to be on the safe side.
♥ Keep your reception venue fully informed of your plans for your first dance. Remind them that it is a secret from the rest of your wedding party and guests so that they do not ruin your surprise and also ask that the wait staff avoid the dance floor area for the duration of your first dance.
♥ Remember to let your photographer and/or videographer in on your secret dance routine. They will need advance notice so that they can find the best viewpoint at your wedding reception to capture your dazzling performance.
♥ Discuss with your photographer what style of photos you would prefer when it comes to your first dance. Full body shots of the two of you are preferable as you don’t want your fancy footwork to be overlooked in the photos!
♥ The same applies to your videographer if you are using one. Let them know the layout of the dance floor and discuss with them the best positioning for their video cameras.
♥ When you and your other half take to the dance floor for your first dance together as a married couple everyone is going to be watching – remember though it’s not just your wedding guests who might be witnessing your first dance. Newlyweds Julia Boggio and James Derbyshire received over 1.3 million views after the video of their first dance to the Dirty Dancing tune made it onto YouTube. What a novel idea and a surefire way to make your wedding reception not only stand out in every one of your wedding guest's minds in the years to come but also capture the interest of a million YouTube viewers!
Dance tips for on the day
♥ Your partner might feel nervous about dancing in front of all of your wedding guests - before the performance tell them how much you appreciate that they are participating in this with you and give them a reassuring hug.
♥ Take time before and during the first dance to encourage each other. A smile from you is sure to do wonders for your dance partner’s confidence levels.
♥ Walk onto the dance floor with confidence and hold yourself tall and proud.
♥ Even if you are concentrating hard on remembering your dance steps, make an effort to smile.
♥ Remember to look straight ahead and not at your feet when dancing (it is tempting to watch your feet if you are trying to perform complicated dance steps).
♥ Listen to the beat of the music and make sure that you keep in time with it.
♥ Whilst it is important that you maintain eye contact with your partner, try to enjoy the moment and look out at your audience too. It will give your confidence a great boost when you see all of those familiar faces cheering you on!
♥ Also, try to look towards the photographer and videographer when you get the opportunity so that they get some good shots of your face.
♥ Try to loosen up. I have witnessed first dance routines where the bride and groom are really stiff and unnatural looking and totally look like they wish they were somewhere else. Don’t let nerves get the better of you – after all your hard work try to enjoy your first dance and have some fun.
♥ To prevent blocking each others view as you dance, the bride should try to look diagonally to her right over the groom’s left shoulder.
♥ Never surprise your partner with unrehearsed moves on your wedding day. Whilst it is great to be innovative with your dance routine prior to your big day do not try to introduce new dance moves during the first dance. You run the risk of throwing your partner off course or worse still off balance!
♥ If anything goes wrong during the first dance just smile and keep going. So long as you look like you are having fun your guests will not even notice your mistakes.
♥ Remember that you are not contestants on “Strictly Come Dancing” or "Dancing With The Stars" - your wedding guests are not judging your dancing skills! These people witnessing your first dance love you and will be enjoying seeing the two of you dance for the first time as husband and wife – that overrides any dancing faux pas you may make.
♥ No matter how relieved you feel at the end of your first dance don’t forget the most important part of it – to give your dancing partner a well-deserved kiss!
I hope that these tips have helped you decide whether or not a dazzling first dance is for you. If you are considering putting together a dance routine for your wedding to surprise your guests then I recommend you watch the show “First Dance” which airs on Sunday at 7.00pm on UKTV Style.
If you follow my advice then your first dance should be exactly what it is supposed to be – a fun and romantic experience, the memories of which will last you a lifetime!
In recent years there has been a shift towards dessert buffet tables at weddings. Rather than offering a choice of two desserts followed by a slice of wedding cake more couples are breaking with tradition and opting for serving a variety of desserts at their wedding reception.
Most couples opting for a dessert buffet table at their wedding reception also have a small wedding cake too for the traditional cake cutting. Setting up a table with a selection of delicious desserts alongside a smaller wedding cake will not only complement your wedding cake but is also sure to shave money off of your wedding costs. Your guests will be more than happy to fill up on sweet treats from your dessert table.
The cost of a traditional wedding cake is a major expense during wedding planning. Most bakers charge per piece of cake and prices start at $3 - $6 per slice. Depending on how many guests you are inviting to your wedding reception this can soon add up. Most couples set aside $500 for the cost of a wedding cake which is a large proportion of the typical wedding budget. For my own wedding I ordered a wedding cake for 100 guests at a cost of $650. If you are on a tight budget then by arranging an assortment of mouthwatering and eye-catching desserts you can make your wedding stand out for a low cost. Decadent desserts such as this Dulce De Leche Torte, which is available at the Publix Grocery Store, cost from $16 and serve 10-12 people. If I had opted for a selection of gourmet desserts such as this for the guests at my own wedding then I could have saved myself well over $400. It’s no wonder dessert buffet tables are fast becoming the newest trend in wedding desserts – they are a much cheaper option!
Advantages
Besides the financial savings setting up a dessert buffet table at your wedding reception will give you, there are plenty more advantages for jumping on the bandwagon of this growing trend:
♥ If you want to encourage your wedding guests to mingle then what better way than to have them converge at the dessert buffet table. This will allow them to chat and get to know one another whilst choosing their sweet treats from the assortment on display.
♥ Whilst almost everyone loves some type of dessert, there are many people who don’t like wedding cake. You are sure to receive grateful comments from non-cake fans and your younger guests too if you serve a selection of desserts at your reception.
♥ You can carry your wedding color theme or style through into your selection of desserts.
♥ You can personalize your wedding by incorporating varieties of desserts which represent you or your fiancé’s ethnic background, family traditions or the region you are from. You could even choose desserts which are native to your chosen honeymoon destination.
Which Desserts?
When deciding upon which sweets to include on your dessert buffet table remember that they do not have to be lavishly expensive desserts. Whether you choose your wedding desserts based on your color theme or your personal favorites, here are some of the most popular dessert buffet choices:
♥ Chocolate cheesecake
♥ Torte
♥ Gateau
♥ Profiteroles stack (I have sampled these mouthwatering profiteroles from Marks & Spencer and totally recommend them for quality and value for money!)
♥ Fresh fruit flan
♥ Fruit tarts and pies
♥ Soufflés
♥ Trifle (very British!)
♥ Bundt cake
♥ Pavlova
♥ Almond slices
♥ Chocolate mousse cups
♥ Bite sized mini cakes and desserts
♥ Cupcakes
♥ Petit fours and truffles
♥ A cookie tray assortment
♥ Platters of fresh fruit
Sourcing desserts
There are a few options for where to source an attractive array of desserts from:
♥ If you are having your wedding catered, check with the caterers if they would be able to provide an assortment of desserts for your wedding reception and discuss prices with them. As far as transportation and setting up of the dessert table is concerned this would definitely be the easier option.
♥ You will probably have your own favorite local bakery so why not try there as your first port of call. You could order desserts from them to be delivered to your wedding reception.
♥ If you are on a tight budget you could pick up tasty desserts from your local grocery store. Remember to discuss this with your wedding caterers at the outset of your wedding planning so that it is clear they will not be expected to provide desserts.
♥ Alternatively, if you have the time, inclination and culinary expertise you could make your own desserts or ask a friend or family member if they would be willing to make their signature dessert for your reception.
Dessert ideas with a fun element
All bride and grooms want their guests to have fun at their wedding reception and I think that if you provide an interactive dessert station then you will be encouraging them to join in with the celebration and create a lighthearted atmosphere.
♥ You could choose to have ingredients set out for guests to get stuck in and create their own ice cream sundaes. Bowls could be laid out with toppings such as whipped cream, sprinkles, mini candy sweets, chocolate flakes, fruit and sauces to top them off.
♥ Another popular dessert choice is a chocolate fountain surrounded by fresh fruit and other sweet dipping items.
♥ If you have a lot of children attending your wedding reception you could set up a cookie decorating station. It might be a bit messy (depending on the age range of the children) but it is a surefire way to keep them amused!
Remember that your choice of desserts is just that - anything you wish! You can be as fun and innovative as you want. Your wedding guests are sure to enjoy sampling a variety of gourmet desserts whatever you choose.
Tips for setting up your dessert table
I know that huge wedding cakes can make a great focal point at a wedding reception but there is no reason why you cannot achieve the same effects with a sumptuous dessert buffet table. Here are some top tips for arranging your dessert table.
♥ If you are decorating the dessert table yourself have some fun dressing it up. Use plush swathes of your favorite fabric to match your wedding colors as a backdrop.
♥ To add visual variety to the table make sure that the desserts are not all displayed at the same height. You can insert stacked plates or a small sturdy box underneath the tablecloth to elevate some of the desserts to create different heights at the dessert table.
♥ Present the desserts using a variety of serving dishes to add a colorful and interesting element to the layout.
♥ Add elegance to the dessert table by decorating it with flowers and floral trims in colors to match your wedding theme. Scatter flower petals around the cakes on the table.
♥ How about placing a large colorful floral arrangement as the centerpiece to the table. Just make sure that foliage is not going to come into contact with the desserts.
♥ Bowls of fresh fruit such as lemons, limes, apples or tangerines would make a vibrant and fragrant addition to the table.
♥ Think ahead with the layout of the dessert table. Place items such as dessert plates, napkins and forks at one end and then position the desserts in the order that you prefer down the center of the table. If you decide to go with the interactive dessert table it would be advisable to place the chocolate fountain or sundae making station at a separate table.
However simple or sophisticated your dessert buffet table ends up being, it is sure to be a feast for your guests’ eyes and stomachs and they will certainly appreciate your efforts.
Like everything with wedding planning the decision of whether or not to venture into the world of wedding dessert buffet tables is subjective. It comes down to your own personal tastes and your budget. Whilst I am not advocating shunning the traditional wedding cake at wedding receptions, I do believe that dessert buffet tables are an exciting, versatile and inexpensive addition to the traditional wedding cake (not to mention yummy!).
Have you just about given up on the inclement weather or lack of suitable wedding venues with stunning vistas in your hometown? Perhaps you are looking for a wedding venue where the sun is more likely to shine. Maybe your vision of your dream wedding involves you standing on a golden beach or atop a cliff overlooking the ocean.
If so, then you should take a look at Islandbrides.com. This website is a fantastic resource for couples who are planning a destination beach wedding in the Caribbean. Islandbrides.com has everything you will need to plan your dream wedding in over 30 beach wedding destinations including:
Anguilla, Antigua & Barbuda, Aruba, Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Bermuda, Bonaire, British Virgin Islands, Cancun, Cayman Islands, Cozumel, Cuba, Curacao, Dominica, Dominican Republic, Grenada, Guadeloupe, Jamaica, Martinique, Montserrat, Puerto Rico, Saba, St Barthelemy, St Eustatius, St Kitts and Nevis, St Lucia, St Maarten, St Martin, St Vincent & The Grenadines, Trinidad & Tobago, Turks & Caicos, and U.S. Virgin Islands.
Destination Guide
The hardest part for couples planning their destination wedding will be choosing which country or island in the Caribbean suits them best. To help you in making this difficult decision Islandbrides.com provides you with a guide to each of the Caribbean destinations. This website is a free one-stop shop which will save you having to research all the different Caribbean destinations yourself. The time saving destination wedding guides provide you with country information, location maps, entry and marriage requirements, the lowdown on the unique and interesting wedding traditions and customs for each wedding destination and also wedding vendor directories to assist you with locating and contacting destination wedding planners, wedding venues, photographers, florists, bakeries and more.
The website is very easy to navigate with drop-down menus to enable you to effortlessly search for destinations, venues and vendors. It contains everything you need to know about getting married in each of the featured destinations.
Planning Tools and Wedding Website
Islandbrides.com also offers registered users free useful planning tools including a wedding budget calculator, an email reminder service to keep track of important dates and wedding planning tasks. As well as this they also provide a free wedding website builder to all members. Personal wedding websites are a great way of keeping your family and friends up-to-date with your destination wedding plans.
Beach Wedding Guide Forum
Undoubtedly if you are planning your own destination wedding in a tropical Caribbean paradise you will have a few questions which need answering, particularly as you will be committing to spending a large sum of money on this event. I think that many couples will find the Beach Wedding Guide Forum useful. This is where other couples post comments about how their destination wedding plans are going, share wedding planning ideas and experiences and offer advice to each other. You are sure to find some unique ideas for your own destination wedding within the forum.
Photo Gallery
If you like to stay clued up on the finer details of celebrity beach weddings or if you just enjoy having a snoop at other newlywed’s wedding photos then Islandbrides.com also has a photo gallery section where other members have posted their own destination wedding photos and stories.
Wedding Articles
A further advantage of Islandbrides.com is that it also features useful articles with tips and advice on planning beach and destination weddings. There are invaluable cost-saving ideas to keep your wedding budget low and creative suggestions which are sure to give your beach wedding an individual theme. There is a vast archive of articles with categories including 2007 wedding trends for beach weddings, how to entertain children at your beach wedding and (what I think should be the essential read for most beach wedding brides-to-be) how to avoid having your coiffed hair turn frizzy in the humidity of your beach destination!
If you are in two minds as to whether a destination wedding would suit you then I thoroughly recommend that you check out Islandbrides.com. It contains copious amounts of unique ideas, useful information and most importantly it is simple and free to sign up. In my opinion if you are contemplating hosting your wedding in an exotic location then Islandbrides.com is definitely worth a look.
The father daughter dance is one of the most treasured traditions in every wedding. It represents an emotionally charged moment in a father’s and a daughter’s life. Most bride-to-be’s try to select a song which best reflects their bond with their father and capture their feelings for him on their wedding day.
Whilst the most popular selections for father daughter dances at the moment include ‘Unforgettable’ by Nat King Cole/Natalie Cole, ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong, ‘My Girl’ by The Temptations, ‘Butterfly Kisses’ by Bob Carlisle and ‘Through the Years’ by Kenny Rogers, one bride decided to avoid these traditional classics and instead persuaded her father to participate in a truly awe-inspiring dance. Take a look at Weddingbee.com to watch the video clip of a bride and her father dancing to Billy Idol’s ‘White Wedding’!
This bride’s video clip, like the one featured in my previous blog where a bride and groom staged a rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance, appears on YouTube which is a novel way to ensure that your wedding reception stands out, not only in every one of your wedding guest's minds in years to come, but also that of YouTube viewers.
If you too want to stage a memorable father daughter dance for your wedding all you have to do now is choose a distinctive song and convince your coy father to join you in being the star attraction at your wedding!
I received this question regarding the protocol for double weddings:
“How do you word invitations for a double wedding? Do you have more than one invitation? One for the guests that are only coming for one party and one for both? Also, will guests feel that the have to bring a gift for both couples? How do we go about this so our guests do not feel that they have to bring a gift for the other couple?
This was my reply:
Many thanks for your question. In response to the first part of your question about whether you should share a wedding invitation with the other couple, the answer is definitely yes. If you are choosing to share your wedding day with another couple then sharing wording on a wedding invitation is inconsequential in comparison. By sharing a joint wedding invitation you will be ensuring that your wedding guests understand that they are being invited to a double wedding. As your wedding ceremony is taking place hand in hand with the other couple’s wedding ceremony your guests will understand why both couples’ names are on the wedding invitation.
Due to the fact that double weddings are not as popular as single ceremony weddings you are unlikely to find pre-printed standard wedding stationery conveying the double wedding invitation. However, you can choose a custom-made invitation to match your color theme and wedding style. These are easy to source on the internet or alternatively you might want to visit a wedding studio or local stationery store. The only limitation you will have when choosing your invitation is that it must have enough space to accommodate your additional wording for the double wedding.
With regard to wording for double wedding invitations please take a look at the sample wordings I have given in my previous post where I have listed a variety of contemporary wording options to cover most double wedding situations. However, as double weddings are not as traditional as single weddings, you should definitely feel free to create your own wording for the invitations, so long as the other bride and groom sharing your double wedding are in agreement with you and your fiancé! When choosing wording do remember to emphasize the ‘double’ nature of the wedding so that your guests are fully aware of the type of wedding they are being invited to. You don’t want to surprise them and have them thinking they are seeing double when they catch sight of two brides and grooms on your wedding day! This applies even more so if you do decide that you want to send separate wedding invitations to your own family and friends.
With regard to wedding gifts, it goes without saying that, unless your wedding guest is a friend or family member of both couples participating in the double wedding, that they need only buy a wedding gift for the couple that has invited them to the wedding. I know that the wedding invitation might well bear the names of both couples but your wedding guests will know that the invitation is coming from you (or your parents) to them.
As double weddings are not everyday occurrences the majority of your wedding guests will not necessarily know whether or not they are expected to bring a gift for the other couple. One way of getting the word out is to let your parents, wedding party, close relatives and friends spread the news for you. Even though this is certainly the easiest way to inform your guests that they need only buy a wedding gift for one couple, I don’t know if it is the safest way to ensure that all guests receive the same message. If you would prefer to make the matter of gift giving entirely unambiguous then the best way to do this is to deliver the message to your guests yourself and have the other couple sharing your wedding celebration do the same with their own wedding guests. Whilst it is wholly against wedding etiquette to mention gift-giving in the wedding invitation, you could add the information to your wedding website or communicate it by letter, email or over the phone. You could word it along the lines of:
“We are delighted that you will be joining Mike and I on our special day. If you were thinking of giving us a gift we wanted to let you know that we are registered at Macy’s and Crate and Barrel. Whilst Mike and I are excited to be sharing our double wedding day with Carol and Bob we wanted to let you know that you are not expected to bring them a wedding gift.”
Your guests will appreciate being given the heads up on this gift-giving dilemma and appreciate your honesty.
I hope that this helps with your double wedding planning. Check out my other post too for even more double wedding planning tips.
When a couple get married traditionally the bride changes her maiden name to her husband’s surname. This is certainly the most preferred option of brides I have met, bar a few who have kept their maiden names which they have built their careers under.
Changing your maiden name to your husband's surname is certainly the simplest option. It makes life easier once you are married to share the same surname (for social, financial and domestic matters) and much less confusing once you have children together. If you (or even your husband) are not keen on sticking with the tradition of you taking his name then how about one of the following options:
♥ You could use a double barreled combination of both of your surnames - this has become an increasingly popular choice amongst couples. The two elements of the new surname could either be linked by a hyphen or kept separate.
♥ How about using your surname as a middle name for both of you.
♥ You could “mesh” your maiden name with your husband’s surname to make a brand new surname for you both – it could be great fun choosing a new name together!
♥ Alternatively, if none of these options appeal to you both then there is no reason (if he is agreeable) why your husband cannot change his surname to your maiden name when you get married.
Although many couples in recent years have chosen to combine their last names it is still unusual for a man to take his wife’s surname upon marriage. Whilst I might have pondered this with newlywed friends and even discussed the topic of name changing with my own husband prior to our wedding, I have never really considered it to be a serious option (unless the man’s surname is so humiliating that it just is not an option for the bride to consider taking it!). I wondered after reading this story if it might well become a new wedding trend in years to come. According to wzzm13.com Seattle newlyweds Donna and Mike Salinger were met with chuckles and confusion from their wedding guests last November as they were announced on their wedding day with the wife’s surname. Mike bravely chose to take his wife's last name instead of her taking his.
"Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would have caused as much of a stir as it did," says Mike Salinger, 27, who was married in November. "We knew people might be surprised, but we figured they'd say 'Huh' and get on with it.”
This is a very unique and modern idea and one which I don’t think should be ridiculed. Personally I think that with all of the new trends in weddings this break with the norm is refreshing.
According to abcnews.go.com in January of this year groom-to-be Michael Buday decided that he wanted to honor his fiancé’s family by taking her name upon their marriage. The only obstacle in his way was the law! Under California state law he needed to pay more than $300 and comply with their laborious and strict legal requirements before his name change could happen. He decided that this was unfair and alongside the ACLU decided to go to court to battle it out. Abcnews.go.com states that,
“California is one of 44 states with unequal name change laws for people getting married. Right now, only six states — Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York and North Dakota — explicitly allow a man to change his name through marriage with the same ease as a woman can.”
Is it right that women can change their names so easily upon marriage yet men are forced into an expensive and laborious labyrinth of red tape in the USA? Without doubt it is a lot easier for men in the UK as they need only execute a change of name by Deed Poll, pay up the £29.99 fee and this guarantees that their new surname is legal and accepted by everyone without question.
Whether newlyweds choose to merge names, create a completely new one or both be known by the bride’s surname, isn’t the most important thing that it should be personal choice for them how they wish themselves to be known upon their marriage?
As soon as word of your newly engaged status leaks out your friends and family will want to know if you intend on having an engagement party. Whilst throwing an engagement party is by no means necessary it does give you the perfect opportunity to officially announce your engagement and a chance to celebrate this exciting time with your friends and family. An engagement party is the first of many pre-wedding parties that you are likely to be the star of! Nowadays before you even make it up the aisle you are likely to be attending your own wedding shower, bachelorette/hen party, bridesmaids luncheon, rehearsal dinner and bridal brunch.
Advantages of throwing an engagement party:
♥ It gives you the perfect opportunity to officially announce your engagement.
♥ A party gives you a chance to celebrate your newly engaged status with your friends and family and show off your ring!
♥ It also provides an opportunity for both you and your partner’s family and friends and (if you have an inkling of who you might choose) your intended bridal party to meet each other prior to your wedding day.
♥ An engagement party provides a perfect excuse to get your friends and family together for some fun!
Here are some tips and ideas on how to throw a memorable engagement party.
Timing
Traditionally an engagement party is held up to two months after you become officially engaged. If you prefer you can choose to postpone organizing the engagement party until you have chosen a wedding date or until the wedding date you have chosen is closer.
Who is the host?
Traditionally it is the couple’s parents who organize and host an engagement party. However if it is not feasible for either set of parents to organize the party (if they don’t live in the same town as the couple or if there are any awkward family relationships) it is acceptable for a friend or family member to host the event. It is also worth keeping in mind that it is becoming increasingly popular for couples to organize the party themselves. This is a great idea particularly if you want to surprise your guests with your engagement news at the actual party (you could send out party invitations without revealing the true reason behind the celebration). There are no hard and fast rules, so do whatever is appropriate for you. Try not to offend anyone though if they offer to host an engagement party for you. Make the decision of what you and your fiancé want and politely decline any other offers. Something to bear in mind is that whoever hosts the party is also expected to foot the bill, so think long and hard if your parents or a generous relative or friend is offering to throw a party for you! Remember too that if someone else actually hosts your engagement party it will allow you and your fiancé the freedom to circulate at the party rather than greeting guests, taking coats and serving food and drinks.
Party Budget
Work out whether you want a small or large scale engagement party and calculate a budget for it. Write down all the elements of the party including the invitation, the food, the drink, the entertainment and the decorations. Be realistic if you are paying for the event yourself. You don’t want to be still paying for the engagement party once you are into the wedding planning stage!
Venue
Engagement parties can be as formal or as casual as you choose. The purpose is to celebrate your engagement with those who are close to you, not to spend copious amounts of cash on food, drinks and party decorations. Try to keep in mind that some of the most enjoyable and memorable engagement parties are simple low-key events. That being said, if you or your parents have your hearts set on a full-blown elaborate sit-down dinner at a classy restaurant then I’m sure your guests will be more than happy to join you at such an event. You might prefer to have a formal engagement party for your parents and then a more casual party with your friends. It is completely up to you. Here are some ideas for celebrating your engagement:
♥ If it is within the host’s budget then how about a brunch or lunch buffet at your favorite restaurant.
♥ If you want something less formal then how about a casual cocktail party at your local bar. You could block off a room for a private party at your local bar and provide cocktails and hors d'oeuvres.
Remember that with either of these options you cannot under any circumstances ask your party guests to pay for anything.
Here are some popular options which are more affordable if you are on a tight budget:
♥ The most popular venue for engagement parties is at the home of either the couple or their parents. At home engagement party ideas include:
♥ Host a champagne or cocktail party with a casual buffet or hors d'oeuvres. Serve tasty food that is easy to eat and serve. For menu ideas take a look at Entertaining.about.com. If you prefer you can call in a professional caterer who will be able to devise an engagement themed menu and provide staff to serve and clean up at the party.
♥ With regard to drinks concoct some romantic themed cocktails and ensure that wine, beer and soft drinks are also available. You can bulk buy these from a discount or club store.
♥ You could just serve a selection of delicious desserts with drinks.
♥ Host a cheese and wine themed party.
♥ A backyard barbecue is the most common style of outdoor engagement party. Decorate your backyard with strings of fairylights and candles in the evening to create a romantic atmosphere.
♥ How about a group picnic in the park, on the beach or at another scenic local area, such as a vineyard, a museum or on a party boat. Try to choose somewhere that has a special significance to you both (e.g. the scene of your first date).
♥ Host a simple afternoon tea party. You could provide an assortment of teas, coffee and sandwiches served on pretty platters and decorated cakes displayed on elegant cake stands.
♥ To add a further element of fun to your party how about hosting a themed engagement party. There are many different themes which you could choose from but my favorite would be a Mexican theme (you could have a Mariachi band, hire a margarita machine (check out MrMargarita.com for details), have piñatas and serve Mexican food!). Just because you choose to celebrate your engagement with a theme your guests will not automatically assume that you are likely to use the same theme for your wedding!
♥ Remember that if you are hosting an engagement party at your home then you must make sure that there is enough parking space available for your guests. If you are planning a large-scale party perhaps you should consider hiring a valet service
Decoration
Just because you might be on a tight budget does not mean that you cannot be creative with decorations for your engagement party.
♥ Decorate the engagement party venue with photo collages of the two of you including photos of you both growing up and once you met one another.
♥ Use romantic yet inexpensive decorations such as heart-shaped balloons, red tablecloths and napkins, banners, heart-shaped chocolates or candies in elegant bowls and candles casting a soft atmospheric glow.
♥ Order a pretty cake with either a photo of the two of you printed on it or simply with your names upon it.
♥ Whilst you have all of your potential wedding guests in one place (and if you have decided on a wedding date) why not hand out save-the-date magnets or candies. For cute save-the-date ideas check out my blog on this topic.
♥ You could use flowers to provide a stunning centerpiece on your engagement party serving tables or simply place vases of flowers around the room.
Invitations
Choosing engagement invitations is a lot more fun than choosing wedding invitations so make the most of it! There are no ground rules with these party invites – they can be formal, informal, or even made verbally. Once you decide on a date and venue for the party let your guests know so that they can mark their calendar. By sending out an invitation you are also giving them a chance to RSVP. You will need to have an idea of how many people you will be catering for.
You could create unique party invitations by using your engagement photo or a photo of the two of you together. If you are planning on having a themed engagement party (e.g. a barbeque, tea party or a Mexican party) you can use this as a basis for the style of your party invitation. If you are planning on making your own party invitations you might find it helpful to check out the sample invitation wordings at Chelseapaper.com or Announcingit.com.
Guest List
How many guests you invite to your engagement party is up to you (and whoever is hosting the party), your budget and the number of people your venue will allow. Etiquette dictates that anyone who is invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding. If it is the case that even at this stage you are thinking that your wedding will be an intimate family-orientated affair then you should make those non-family guests you have invited to your engagement party aware of this so that there are no surprises for them when your wedding invitations are sent out.
Gifts
It is common knowledge that gifts should definitely not be expected at an engagement party. However it is likely that some guests will want to buy you something. If you do decide to register for gifts at this early stage of your wedding planning, do not put the registry information on the engagement party invitation. Let your parents know where you're registered in case people ask them (see my blog for further advice on this). If you don’t know what type of gifts to register for then how about asking for engagement gifts which will help you to organize and plan your upcoming wedding (e.g. a subscription to a wedding website, a subscription to a bridal magazine, tickets to a local wedding show, books on wedding planning).
If receiving gifts would make you uncomfortable you might prefer to explicitly state on the party invitation that engagement gifts are not necessary.
Entertaining your party guests
Contrary to popular belief you do not have to subject guests at your engagement party to endless cheesy party games. The most important thing is that your family and friends get to know one another in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. Here are a few simple ideas of how to entertain your guests and hopefully encourage them to mingle.
♥ If it’s a daytime barbeque or picnic you are hosting, then why not organize an outdoor sporting event such as a game of softball, volleyball or even croquet for your guests. This will give them the perfect opportunity to bond.
♥ Just as you would at any party try to make introductions between guests and point out possible common interests.
♥ You can use visual props as icebreakers at your party. For example type up your engagement story and the story of how you met, frame it and display it for the guests to read. This will be sure to get them talking.
♥ Arrange to have an official engagement photo taken of you and then display it at your engagement party. A cute idea is also to display old photos of you and your fiancé as children, when you were growing up and when you first got together. This is traditionally a great conversation starter.
♥ To give your guests a heads up on who is who and your families structure display a family tree showing both families.
♥ Music at a party definitely enhances the atmosphere and encourages guests to interact. If you are hosting a large-scale party then how about organizing a live jazz band, a Mariachi band (perfect for a Mexican themed party), a pianist or a classical musician (violin, harp, acoustic guitar etc). Choose musical entertainment to match the theme and style of your party.
♥ By throwing the party in the evening your guests are more likely to relax and let go of their inhibitions and will be more inclined to get up and dance.
♥ If you have already started planning your wedding by the time the engagement party comes around then why not create a video photo montage including in it pictures of the church or wedding venue, the intended reception venue, your chosen transportation and other wedding planning ideas you have had. If you have decided on your bridal attendants you could even include footage of each of them to introduce them to your friends and family. This will give your guests a taster of the upcoming wedding.
♥ It is definitely a good idea to set up a microphone so that your host can make a toast to you both. If you place it in a prominent location it will encourage guests, as the party progresses, to make spontaneous toasts to you both.
♥ If you want to save money then rather than hiring an official photographer, why not ask a family member or friend who is reliable and has a certain amount of expertise with a camera to capture your engagement party for posterity in pictures or even on video. Alternatively ask party guests with cameras to share their photos with you after the party. It’s great to have photos as a keepsake of such a special event.
♥ I read about this idea on a wedding forum and I thought it sounded great. You provide two large white sheets of poster board and write "Wedding Advice From the Women" across the top of one and "Wedding Advice From the Men" on the other with a heavy marker pen. Attach a pen to each board and encourage your party guests to leave notes about things they learned while planning their own weddings or simply wedding planning suggestions from non-married guests. Not only will this give guests an opportunity to offer you their advice but you will inevitably come away with lots of helpful information which will serve you well in the upcoming wedding planning stages! If you want something less obtrusive than poster boards you could use pretty stationary or even index cards on a table at the party instead. You could stick them into an engagement scrapbook after the party alongside your photos and other engagement mementoes.
For more unique ideas on how to encourage your party guests to mingle check out my blog on this subject.
Don’t get stressed out by the details of your engagement party. Make the most of this special time before the ensuing chaos of planning your actual wedding begins! Organize a party that feels right for you and your fiancé. If you are relaxed and enjoying yourself then your family and friends are sure to have a great time too!
The last but most important piece of advice I can give you is to relax, enjoy your engagement party and have a good time with your friends and family. Remember that they are all there to celebrate your love and upcoming nuptials not to judge you on your choice of party nibbles!
Congratulations - I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your engagement!
Welcome drinks are traditionally served as a polite way of greeting your guests upon arrival at your wedding reception and thanking them for attending. Whilst in the olden days a small glass of sherry was offered to guests the more modern choice nowadays is for champagne to be served. However, as with all wedding planning, there are no hard and fast rules about what drinks should be served to guests at a wedding reception so it goes without saying that if you would prefer to steer clear of serving champagne you should feel free to choose from a number of other popular welcome drinks.
For the ultimate “wow” factor at your wedding reception you should impress your wedding guests by serving a stylish cocktail. Cocktails being served at weddings are a growing trend and most reception venues nowadays will be able to accommodate your choice of cocktail. Once you have decided on which cocktail you would like to be served, speak to your reception bar-staff and ensure that they are satisfied that they know how to make your chosen cocktail and agree on how it will be served. 
Money
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The cost of a traditional wedding cake is a major expense during wedding planning. Most bakers charge per piece of cake and prices start at $3 - $6 per slice. Depending on how many guests you are inviting to your wedding reception this can soon add up. Most couples set aside $500 for the cost of a wedding cake which is a large proportion of the typical wedding budget. For my own wedding I ordered a wedding cake for 100 guests at a cost of $650. If you are on a tight budget then by arranging an assortment of mouthwatering and eye-catching desserts you can make your wedding stand out for a low cost. Decadent desserts such as this 
When deciding upon which sweets to include on your dessert buffet table remember that they do not have to be lavishly expensive desserts. Whether you choose your wedding desserts based on your color theme or your personal favorites, here are some of the most popular dessert buffet choices:
Have you just about given up on the inclement weather or lack of suitable wedding venues with stunning vistas in your hometown? Perhaps you are looking for a wedding venue where the sun is more likely to shine. Maybe your vision of your dream wedding involves you standing on a golden beach or atop a cliff overlooking the ocean. 
Traditionally it is the couple’s parents who organize and host an engagement party. However if it is not feasible for either set of parents to organize the party (if they don’t live in the same town as the couple or if there are any awkward family relationships) it is acceptable for a friend or family member to host the event. It is also worth keeping in mind that it is becoming increasingly popular for couples to organize the party themselves. This is a great idea particularly if you want to surprise your guests with your engagement news at the actual party (you could send out party invitations without revealing the true reason behind the celebration). There are no hard and fast rules, so do whatever is appropriate for you. Try not to offend anyone though if they offer to host an engagement party for you. Make the decision of what you and your fiancé want and politely decline any other offers. Something to bear in mind is that whoever hosts the party is also expected to foot the bill, so think long and hard if your parents or a generous relative or friend is offering to throw a party for you! Remember too that if someone else actually hosts your engagement party it will allow you and your fiancé the freedom to circulate at the party rather than greeting guests, taking coats and serving food and drinks.
♥ Host a champagne or cocktail party with a casual buffet or hors d'oeuvres. Serve tasty food that is easy to eat and serve. For menu ideas take a look at 
♥ To add a further element of fun to your party how about hosting a themed engagement party. There are many different themes which you could choose from but my favorite would be a Mexican theme (you could have a Mariachi band, hire a margarita machine (check out 
♥ Use romantic yet inexpensive decorations such as heart-shaped balloons, red tablecloths and napkins, banners, heart-shaped chocolates or candies in elegant bowls and candles casting a soft atmospheric glow.
How many guests you invite to your engagement party is up to you (and whoever is hosting the party), your budget and the number of people your venue will allow. Etiquette dictates that anyone who is invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding. If it is the case that even at this stage you are thinking that your wedding will be an intimate family-orientated affair then you should make those non-family guests you have invited to your engagement party aware of this so that there are no surprises for them when your wedding invitations are sent out.