The purpose of a traditional receiving line is to allow the newlyweds, their parents and other members of the bridal party to personally welcome the guests to the wedding. With modern family dynamics now including divorced parents, ex-partners, etc it can make the logistics of who stands where in the receiving line complicated. Put this alongside the fact that receiving lines can be quite time-consuming, and some guests balk at having to stand in line waiting to greet the happy couple, and I suspect these are the reasons why many couples nowadays reject the option of having a receiving line at their wedding.

Personally, I had a receiving line at my wedding and I enjoyed greeting every guest, introducing them to our parents and attendants and thanking each of them for joining us (many of them had travelled large distances to attend our wedding). The alternative would have been to spend the whole evening at the wedding reception chasing down guests on the dance-floor or at the bar in a bid to guarantee that my husband and I personally welcomed each and every guest to our wedding! In this case the receiving line definitely seemed like the easier option for us!

So are receiving lines an out of date tradition and a waste of time, or are they an integral part of your wedding, enabling you to make each of your guests feel valued and welcome? To help you decide I recommend you take a look at this brilliant blog, Receiving Line 101, at ManoloForTheBrides.com. It discusses the advantages and etiquette of receiving lines at weddings. Take a look at the comments section too as there are plenty of great tips for alternative versions of receiving lines including ideas for greeting guests immediately after the ceremony and mingling with guests during the reception meal.

Whether you are hosting an intimate wedding where a receiving line with so few guests would seem redundant, or you simply dislike the idea of a receiving line at your wedding day, remember that you do not have to include every time honored tradition in your wedding day - just do whatever you and your fiancé feel comfortable with.

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Would You Let Your Husband And His Best Mates Plan Your Entire Wedding?

As you plan your wedding you will receive advice from just about everyone. Friends and family have a million and one tips to pass on, in fact here at Wedaholic I have been offering tips galore. For example tips on wedding djs, getting guests to mingle, giving a great speech and tipping wedding suppliers to name just a few!

I would like to encourage you to sign up for even more tips, by filling in the short form below:

Once you have clicked on the "Send My 1st Tip" button you will receive your first tip in your inbox.

To give you a flavour of what to expect I have copied the types of wedding tips you will receive below:

Sample Tip 1 :

At the reception hall, fill baskets in the bathroom with miniature hand lotions, breath mints, hair sprays, and hair gels for emergency touch-ups. You may also want to put out a basket with a few inexpensive pairs of pantyhose and
some clear nail polish.

"Thanks for all the tips..and for making them genuinely "free".... the tips I found most helpful of your's were about etiquette ... it helps to remind brides of other people's feelings when they are getting caught up in their own! And that idea about giving framed pictures to the parents is one I will definately do! Blessings!" - Suzanne, US

Sample Tip 2 :

Don’t forget grandparents and other relatives who may feel “left out” during the preparations before the wedding. Take a camera along when you are shopping for your dress or looking at flowers.

Send pictures with a quick note that says, “Here’s me rubbing my feet after trying on shoes that were murder!” Or “Aunt Joan, the flowers were beautiful, but I wish you could have been there.”

"Just wanted to thank you for all of the wonderful tips! I enjoy reading them every week!! I will use you're advice throughout the planning of my wedding and on the big day! Thanks again" - Dan

Sample Tip 3 :

For bridesmaids' dresses, consider separates, especially if you have attendants whose sizes and shapes vary widely. Skip the bridal stores and check out department stores for evening skirts and separate tops that are made of luxurious fabrics and trimmed with beading or embroidered details.

"Dear Emily your tips have been very helpful to me in planning for my wedding thank you for all of your help, looking forward to receiving other tips from you. Best Regards" - Cornelia, US

The traditional roles of primary wedding planner usually fall to (a) the bride or (b) the wedding planning but it is extremely rare for the job to be passed to (c) the groom! That is exactly what happens during "Don't Tell the Bride", a brand new six-part series on BBC Three which sees grooms planning the entire wedding without any input from the bride. As the groom is banned from having contact with the bride until the wedding ceremony, the only people he can turn to for advice are his best mates.

Whilst most bride-to-be’s agree on the fact that they want their partner to be involved in the wedding planning, would any bride actually want him to organise the complete wedding day? This new reality TV show follows the husbands-to-be as, armed with a £12,000 budget and a 4 week deadline, they negotiate the ups and downs of planning the wedding day their future bride has always dreamt of. They must organize every single thing for the wedding themselves, including choosing a wedding theme, a venue, organizing the stationery, catering, transportation, photography, entertainment and the all important wedding attire.

As the average cost of a wedding in the UK at present is approximately £15,000 I think that the £12,000 budget which the show has provided the groom with is a realistic amount. Of course that depends on whether the groom is able to calculate a wedding budget and stick to it. If he can’t then he might be forced to cut costs in places his bride may not agree with on the wedding day!

Through video diaries viewers can watch the excitement and drama unfold as the wedding plans progress from both the bride and groom’s viewpoint.

Viewers will be able to witness what happens when you mix a wedding obsessed bridezilla with impressively glamorous plans for her wedding with a notoriously disorganised fiancé who is left to organise the wedding on his own in 4 weeks - it sounds like a sure-fire recipe for disaster! The couple in question, who participated in “Don't Tell the Bride”, are Katy and Sam of Weybridge, Surrey. It fell on Sam’s shoulders to organize the wedding which Katy had always wanted. However whilst she had dreamt of a stylish white and silver theme for her big day, Sam opted for a Moulin Rouge theme complete with DIY table decorations and invitations. To read more about their story click here.

Even though Katy admitted that she really enjoyed the wedding day which Sam had planned for them both, according to The Daily Mail, she said that

“Looking back, I do feel as though something was taken away from me. Not being involved in the planning myself left me feeling a little as though I had turned up at someone else's wedding rather than my own.”

Whilst this type of wedding reality show makes great viewing, I personally don’t think I could have give my husband the responsibility of planning our entire wedding. This is not because I fear he would have made terrible choices, as I trust his taste implicitly plus he is far more organized than me, however I would have hated for him to be put under that amount of pressure and stress. I think it is so important for both the bride and groom to enjoy the build-up to their wedding day.

I think that the brides featured on "Don't Tell The Bride", regardless of their partner’s wedding planning blunders, should realise how lucky they are to have a man that was willing to take on this responsibility and role.

Watch for yourself to see how each of the couples fare - "Don't Tell The Bride" is on BBC Three on November 8th at 9pm.

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Is waltzing round the dance floor at your wedding reception to the gentle crooning of Celine Dion not enough of a show-stopper for you? Perhaps you want to make a bold statement and have your first dance stand out in the memories of your guests. One of the hottest wedding trends is to learn a choreographed routine for your first dance as husband and wife. As I mentioned in my previous blog increasing numbers of newlyweds are abandoning waltzing to traditional classics and instead are performing strategically planned dance displays to music such as the signature tune to Dirty Dancing, MC Hammer's “Can't Touch This” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.

According to Adam Gardner and Gemma Rogers of wedding dance company First Dance UK,

"It's very rare for a couple to just ask to be taught the waltz. A lot of the requests are weird and wonderful”.

You only have to take a look at one of the many videos of other couples performing their first dance on YouTube or GoogleVideo to see this for yourself. I’m just hoping one of the couples whose weddings I am due to attend later this year decide to copy the Austin Powers theme tune dance – it looks hilarious!

Whilst I’ve mentioned before that I love newlyweds Brian and Sandy Lundmark’s awe-inspiring rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance, I have to say my new personal favorite amongst the first dance wedding videos on You Tube is the body popping couple – it is so cool.

This is a wedding trend which does not look likely to end anytime soon. In fact UKTV Style have devoted a new show, “First Dance”, to just that! Each show follows one of 15 couples on their journey from learning their specially-choreographed secret routine to executing it at their wedding reception. According to the Sun Newspaper newlyweds Andrea and George Georgiou from Edmonton, who feature in the show, said they wanted to try something a bit different for their wedding day. They spent weeks preparing for their first dance to perform in front of their 500 wedding guests and their verdict was,

"It was a bit nerve wracking but when it came to do the dance, all the lights went down and everyone was laughing and cheering as we performed. It was amazing."

If you want your first dance to be a show-stopper and know nothing at all about dancing above and beyond a quick boogie at your local club then perhaps you should think about engaging the services of a dance choreographer. Companies such as First Dance UK offer a helping hand by teaching couples how to put together a dance routine for their wedding to surprise their guests. The choreographers can come to your own home and teach you a unique routine tailor-made to your choice of song and to your dancing ability. You don’t need to have any previous dance experience. A 1 hour trial lesson, costing £60, is recommended if you simply want to learn a few basic moves that you can link together for your first dance song. Alternatively, if you want to learn a full routine for your first dance song they offer a package of 5 lessons for £250.

Whatever you decide to do before you embark on the challenge of organizing your first dance here are some tips:

Top Tips For Orchestrating Your First Dance

Initial decisions

♥ You don’t have to be an exhibitionist to try a choreographed first dance - nobody is going to force you to re-enact the legendary dance sequence from Dirty Dancing. You could try something as straightforward as learning how to foxtrot round the dance floor or a few simple spins, dips and salsa moves. Whatever you do it is sure to be memorable to both you and your wedding guests (hopefully for the right reasons!).

♥ You can choose private lessons with a choreographer, as mentioned above, or opt for the cheaper alternative which is group classes at your local community center or school.

♥ If you are on a tight budget and cannot factor dance lessons into your wedding plans then how about working out your own dance routine. Plenty of couples do it (take a look at the videos on YouTube to see other DIY first dances). Even if you don’t have the dancing prowess of Cheryl Burke or Patrick Swayze you can still put together a first dance sure to impress your wedding guests.

♥ Be creative! The abovementioned newlyweds who body popped their way through their first dance came up with the choreography themselves. See what unique dance ideas you and your fiancé can come up with yourselves. You don’t necessarily need a professional choreographer or dance lessons, all you need is some confidence, the desire to entertain your wedding guests and a willingness to have plenty fun.

♥ If you are looking for inspiration then look no further than the internet. As mentioned, there are hundreds of videos to choose from on the web.

♥ There are also many easy-to-follow instructional videos and DVDs available to buy or rent which can teach you dance moves in the comfort and privacy of your own home.

♥ Initially you should decide on a song you would like to dance to. There are plenty of options available to you. If you are undecided about your first dance song check the list at Firstdance.com which has a huge selection of appropriate wedding dance songs and also check out my blog.

♥ The best type of song to use for your first dance is one with a distinctive beat which is easy to hear.

♥ If you are having trouble picking a song try practicing some dance moves together to your favorite 2 or 3 songs. Settle on whichever of the songs you both feel most comfortable dancing to.

♥ Once you have chosen your first dance song let your choreographer know your choice. They might well ask you to let them have a CD copy of the song so that they can listen to it in advance of your first meeting to begin to visualize a suitable dance routine for you.

♥ It is best that you dance to recorded music so that you get used to the timing of it and know exactly what to expect on your big day.

♥ However, if you are intending to dance to live music make sure the band know how you want the song to be played. Provide them with a CD copy of the song you would like to dance to so that they can familiarize themselves with it before the wedding day. Additionally, it would be wise to hear the band play in person or request a recording of their version of your chosen song so that you can be sure they are going to play an accurate version for your first dance.

♥ Alternatively you might prefer to copy a well-known dance routine (e.g. Dirty Dancing, Thriller, Pulp Fiction) and use the specific song which goes in tandem with it.

♥ Another decision you will need to make early on is whether or not you would like your choreographed first dance to be a secret or not. Part of the appeal is surely to see your guests’ shocked reactions on your wedding day as you wow them with your first dance?

♥ Once you have decided this, consider whether you would like to invite family members or members of your bridal party to participate in the dance with you (I say participate because under no circumstances should you force an unwilling groomsman, bridesmaid etc to take part in the first dance if they are at all reluctant!). If they are agreeable you could arrange group dance lessons (see the “Thriller” video for an example of how much fun you could have as a dancing troupe).

♥ Some people feel that the first dance is the bride and groom’s moment to shine in the spotlight and thus the wedding party should not be included in it. If you feel this way but want to include them in your dance routine somehow you could have them participate in the latter part of the routine (check out the Dirty Dancing routine where the bridal party joined in at the end of the dance – it was really effective, particularly as the groomsmen were able to assist the couple with perfecting the infamous lift at the end of the song!).

♥ Alternatively you could consider a second song for the wedding party to perform their own dance routine. I absolutely love this video of the bride’s father, brother, brother-in-law and groomsman replicating Ok Go’s dance routine to “Here It Goes Again” – what a fabulous way of entertaining your wedding guests. Your only fear with something like this happening at your wedding is that they will steal you and your spouse’s thunder on the dance floor!

♥ When learning the moves for your first dance try not to be overly ambitious. There is no point in you and your fiancé pushing yourselves beyond your comfort zone – you want to look happy and comfortable during your first dance not like a couple of deer caught in headlights! Be aware of your limitations and adapt the dance to suit you and your dancing ability. For example in one of the episodes of “First Dance” the groom-to-be suffered a bad back so he opted out of lifting his bride-to-be during the first dance routine they learnt.

The 3 minute rule

♥ One of the most important things to bear in mind when choosing the song to dance your first dance to is that less is always more! You don’t want to choose a song that lasts longer than 3 minutes or you run the risk of losing your audience’s attention.

♥ Just as wedding speeches should be kept short and sweet so that they don't bore your wedding guests, the same applies with your first dance. Ok, you might have spent months practicing the moves and you really want your guests to appreciate all of your hard work, but you can achieve this in 3 minutes – you don’t have to let the first dance drag on.

♥ Remember that your first dance is supposed to be a gift to your guests not a means of torturing them!

♥ If you do choose a song which lasts longer than 3 minutes, bear in mind that you do not need to dance to the entire song. Ask your DJ or nominated person in charge of music at your reception to cut the song or fade it out after a pre-determined point or if you are having a live band ask them to play a shortened version.

♥ Alternatively you could invite your wedding party or even your guests as a whole to join you on the dance floor for the latter part of the song. Just make a decision in advance of the wedding day and let your DJ or person in charge of your music know what is going to happen once your 3 minutes in the spotlight are up!

Practice makes perfect

♥ You should plan your first dance well in advance of your wedding as you will need as much practice as possible. Ideally you should begin practicing your first dance 6 months ahead of time. If this is not possible, at the very least you should start your private lessons or your own practice sessions at least 3 months in advance of your wedding.

♥ The earlier you start practicing your dance routine the more time you will have to make necessary changes before your wedding day. Having to make last-minute alterations to your choice of music, style of dance, etc are very likely to cause you stress (something couples certainly do not need in the weeks prior to their wedding day!).

♥ First Dance UK recommend that typically couples require 5 hours of lessons to learn a first dance routine.

♥ If you are involving friends and family in your first dance routine you must find time as a group to practice together. It can sometimes be tricky to schedule practice sessions for a large group. Make sure they can all commit to the practice sessions before you start learning your dance routine. It would be a shame if members of the group decided to pull out once you have started rehearsals.

♥ Get as much practice with your fiancé as you possibly can (at least twice a week). The more you rehearse your first dance the more comfortable and confident you will feel and look on the actual wedding day.

♥ If you are having private dance lessons, practice in between them at home. All you need is half an hour here and there and a bit of clear floor space.

♥ Whilst it is important that you get to know every beat of the music in your first dance song, choreographers recommend that you practice the dance routine without the music too - this will help you to focus solely on perfecting your dance moves.

♥ Remember that you are not a professional dance duo. Don’t be too hard on each other whilst you are learning and practicing your dance routine. It is inevitable that you will make mistakes but the important thing is to keep practicing and not fall out over it.

♥ In the run up to your wedding you want to be able to enjoy your dance lessons with your fiancé so make sure you allow enough time. Taking an hour out of your schedules once a week in the busy build up to your wedding will probably be beneficial to both of you. Your dance sessions can become a date night where you spend time together and enjoy each others company away from all of your other stresses, strains and wedding preparations.

Dress to impress

♥ It is important when planning your first dance to think carefully about what you will be wearing on your wedding day. You need to be able to comfortably perform all of your dance moves.

♥ Check the length of your wedding dress. If it is too long your dancing partner might step on it during the first dance. During your dress fittings check that your heels are not likely to get caught in its hem. Ideally the hem should be at least 1.5cm off the floor.

♥ If you have a wedding train be sure that you have the option to pin it up at the back or have it attached to your wrist to keep it swept up and out of the way during the first dance.

♥ You might find that the shape of your wedding dress dictates what style of dance you are able to perform. For example, if you have chosen a dramatic ball gown style with a full skirt are you really going to be able to participate in a swing dance? If you are wearing a low cut strapless wedding dress are you definitely going to be able to execute a backward bend during the first dance without showing more than a bride should?

♥ Is your dress tight fitting? Will you be able to dance comfortably in it?

♥ If you have any worries at all about your ability to perform your chosen dance routine in your wedding attire, let your dance teacher know.

♥ You might well find that some dance moves have to be moderated if your dress restricts them. For example, if you are unable to comfortably raise your arms in your wedding dress then you will be unable to incorporate spins into your dance routine as these require you to raise you arms above your head.

♥ Whilst watching one of the first dance videos on You Tube I couldn’t help but notice that every time the groom was spinning his bride on the dance floor both he and she were catching their hands and arms on her huge tiara. If you are wearing a tiara as part of your wedding attire choose one which is not going to hinder your all important dance moves. My advice is to have a practice waving your hands above your head when choosing a suitable tiara - you might get some strange looks in the shop but it will give you one less thing to worry about during your first dance.

♥ The best thing you can do when practicing your first dance is to dress in clothing similar to that which you intend to wear on your wedding day. In last week’s "First Dance" show the choreographer arranged for a mock-up of the bride’s fish-tail wedding dress to be made up in cheap fabric for her to practice in.

♥ If the groom-to-be intends on keeping his jacket on for the first dance then it makes sense that he should practice the dance routine in a jacket. This will be a great way for him to determine whether or not his dance moves will be restricted by wearing a jacket.

♥ It is also important to make sure that you feel comfortable dancing in your wedding shoes. You should wear the shoes you plan to wear for your actual first dance to your dance lessons. This is important, so that you not only have the chance to practice your dance routine in your wedding shoes but you will also be breaking them in so that they adjust and stretch to fit your feet prior to your big day.

♥ To avoid getting your wedding shoes damaged or scuffed during dance rehearsals you could wear a similar style of shoe to get used to the heel height etc or you could protect your actual wedding shoes by covering them with athletic socks or nylon stockings.

♥ For the groom it is very important that he makes sure that the soles of his wedding shoes are suitable for the proposed dance floor surface. The last thing you want is for the groom to be sliding about the dance floor (keep in mind the episode of Friends where Chandler surprises Monica by announcing he's been taking dancing lessons but his wedding shoes are so slippery, he is incapable of dancing!).

♥ Also, if the groom is going to be wearing patent leather shoes for the dance, make sure that you break them in prior to the wedding dance as they tend to squeak when rubbed together. The solution is to rub some petroleum jelly or even hair conditioner onto the shoes where they rub.

♥ If your shoes are too uncomfortable or impractical to perform your first dance in then there is nothing to stop you changing your footwear prior to the dance.

♥ The same goes for your clothing - there is no shame in changing into an alternative outfit to perform your first dance in if you feel more comfortable doing so. Changing your clothing could be beneficial if you are copying a known dance routine (the groom in the Dirty Dancing video on YouTube changed from his wedding outfit into a black vest top and trousers, so he totally looked the part). Consider your choice of clothes carefully – are you really going to feel relaxed body popping in your voluminous princess style wedding dress!

Get to know your dance floor

♥ The last thing you want before you perform your first dance on your wedding day are any last minute surprises so make sure you know the exact layout, size and shape of your wedding reception dance floor well in advance.

♥ Even if you cannot see the actual space in situ you can at least ask the hotel or venue manager for the measurements of the dance floor you will be using on your wedding day.

♥ If you have an idea of the size and shape your dance space will be you can practice and get used to dancing in the same amount of space. Whilst watching the show "First Dance" I noticed that the choreographer marked out the dimensions of the couple’s proposed wedding dance floor on the floor of her dance studio with tape for their practice sessions. This is a great idea as it means that if you are expecting to dance in an awkward shaped dance space on your wedding day you will be well used to it. You don’t want to run the risk of having your first dance cut short as you crash into a wall or collide with a pillar do you!

♥ The size of your dance space can influence what type of dance routine you are able to perform for your first dance. If the space is miniscule you might have to moderate your routine and do similar dance moves but on a smaller scale.

♥ If possible examine the dance space in person and try dancing on it (or at the very least walking on it) with your wedding shoes on. If your chosen dance space has a highly polished floor covering such as marble you might find it to be quite slippery to dance on (again, think of Chandler in Friends ending up in the splits position on the dance floor – not how you want your wedding guests to remember your first dance!). At least if you know what flooring you will be working with in advance you can adjust your dance routine accordingly.

♥ In the same vein, if your wedding reception is going to be outdoors make sure that there is going to be a proper dance floor installed for you on your wedding day. If performing your first dance on grass is your only option then make sure you have plenty of practice dancing on this type of surface (and remember that the bride will definitely have to forsake her high heeled wedding shoes unless she wants to get stuck in the grass!).

♥ When looking at your dance space you should plan where you are going to start and end your first dance. If you are using a professional choreographer take their advice as to what will work best on your wedding day.

♥ Once you have decided, make sure that the wedding reception venue staff, DJ/band members/person in charge of your music, photographer, videographer and anyone else assisting you with your first dance (including backing dancers) know precisely where you will be entering the dance floor and where you will be exiting. You want helpers who are aware of your surprise first dance to be able to direct the wedding guests to the dance floor area at the right time and position them appropriately without any guests, venue staff or band members encroaching on your dance space!

Things to remember in the run up to your wedding day

♥ Ensure your DJ, band leader or nominated person in charge of music at your wedding reception is clear about when you are starting your dance routine and what is happening at the end of it.

♥ You are better off performing your first dance at the beginning of your wedding reception’s entertainment. Once the dance is out of the way you can relax and enjoy the rest of the party.

♥ Make sure your DJ has the correct version of the song you want to dance to – sometimes songs have alternative and remixed versions. It’s probably best to provide the DJ with a CD of your song just to be on the safe side.

♥ Keep your reception venue fully informed of your plans for your first dance. Remind them that it is a secret from the rest of your wedding party and guests so that they do not ruin your surprise and also ask that the wait staff avoid the dance floor area for the duration of your first dance.

♥ Remember to let your photographer and/or videographer in on your secret dance routine. They will need advance notice so that they can find the best viewpoint at your wedding reception to capture your dazzling performance.

♥ Discuss with your photographer what style of photos you would prefer when it comes to your first dance. Full body shots of the two of you are preferable as you don’t want your fancy footwork to be overlooked in the photos!

♥ The same applies to your videographer if you are using one. Let them know the layout of the dance floor and discuss with them the best positioning for their video cameras.

♥ When you and your other half take to the dance floor for your first dance together as a married couple everyone is going to be watching – remember though it’s not just your wedding guests who might be witnessing your first dance. Newlyweds Julia Boggio and James Derbyshire received over 1.3 million views after the video of their first dance to the Dirty Dancing tune made it onto YouTube. What a novel idea and a surefire way to make your wedding reception not only stand out in every one of your wedding guest's minds in the years to come but also capture the interest of a million YouTube viewers!

Dance tips for on the day

♥ Your partner might feel nervous about dancing in front of all of your wedding guests - before the performance tell them how much you appreciate that they are participating in this with you and give them a reassuring hug.

♥ Take time before and during the first dance to encourage each other. A smile from you is sure to do wonders for your dance partner’s confidence levels.

♥ Walk onto the dance floor with confidence and hold yourself tall and proud.

♥ Even if you are concentrating hard on remembering your dance steps, make an effort to smile.

♥ Remember to look straight ahead and not at your feet when dancing (it is tempting to watch your feet if you are trying to perform complicated dance steps).

♥ Listen to the beat of the music and make sure that you keep in time with it.

♥ Whilst it is important that you maintain eye contact with your partner, try to enjoy the moment and look out at your audience too. It will give your confidence a great boost when you see all of those familiar faces cheering you on!

♥ Also, try to look towards the photographer and videographer when you get the opportunity so that they get some good shots of your face.

♥ Try to loosen up. I have witnessed first dance routines where the bride and groom are really stiff and unnatural looking and totally look like they wish they were somewhere else. Don’t let nerves get the better of you – after all your hard work try to enjoy your first dance and have some fun.

♥ To prevent blocking each others view as you dance, the bride should try to look diagonally to her right over the groom’s left shoulder.

♥ Never surprise your partner with unrehearsed moves on your wedding day. Whilst it is great to be innovative with your dance routine prior to your big day do not try to introduce new dance moves during the first dance. You run the risk of throwing your partner off course or worse still off balance!

♥ If anything goes wrong during the first dance just smile and keep going. So long as you look like you are having fun your guests will not even notice your mistakes.

♥ Remember that you are not contestants on “Strictly Come Dancing” or "Dancing With The Stars" - your wedding guests are not judging your dancing skills! These people witnessing your first dance love you and will be enjoying seeing the two of you dance for the first time as husband and wife – that overrides any dancing faux pas you may make.

♥ No matter how relieved you feel at the end of your first dance don’t forget the most important part of it – to give your dancing partner a well-deserved kiss!

I hope that these tips have helped you decide whether or not a dazzling first dance is for you. If you are considering putting together a dance routine for your wedding to surprise your guests then I recommend you watch the show “First Dance” which airs on Sunday at 7.00pm on UKTV Style.

If you follow my advice then your first dance should be exactly what it is supposed to be – a fun and romantic experience, the memories of which will last you a lifetime!

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When a couple get married traditionally the bride changes her maiden name to her husband’s surname. This is certainly the most preferred option of brides I have met, bar a few who have kept their maiden names which they have built their careers under.

Changing your maiden name to your husband's surname is certainly the simplest option. It makes life easier once you are married to share the same surname (for social, financial and domestic matters) and much less confusing once you have children together. If you (or even your husband) are not keen on sticking with the tradition of you taking his name then how about one of the following options:

♥ You could use a double barreled combination of both of your surnames - this has become an increasingly popular choice amongst couples. The two elements of the new surname could either be linked by a hyphen or kept separate.

♥ How about using your surname as a middle name for both of you.

♥ You could “mesh” your maiden name with your husband’s surname to make a brand new surname for you both – it could be great fun choosing a new name together!

♥ Alternatively, if none of these options appeal to you both then there is no reason (if he is agreeable) why your husband cannot change his surname to your maiden name when you get married.

Although many couples in recent years have chosen to combine their last names it is still unusual for a man to take his wife’s surname upon marriage. Whilst I might have pondered this with newlywed friends and even discussed the topic of name changing with my own husband prior to our wedding, I have never really considered it to be a serious option (unless the man’s surname is so humiliating that it just is not an option for the bride to consider taking it!). I wondered after reading this story if it might well become a new wedding trend in years to come. According to wzzm13.com Seattle newlyweds Donna and Mike Salinger were met with chuckles and confusion from their wedding guests last November as they were announced on their wedding day with the wife’s surname. Mike bravely chose to take his wife's last name instead of her taking his.

"Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it would have caused as much of a stir as it did," says Mike Salinger, 27, who was married in November. "We knew people might be surprised, but we figured they'd say 'Huh' and get on with it.”

This is a very unique and modern idea and one which I don’t think should be ridiculed. Personally I think that with all of the new trends in weddings this break with the norm is refreshing.

According to abcnews.go.com in January of this year groom-to-be Michael Buday decided that he wanted to honor his fiancé’s family by taking her name upon their marriage. The only obstacle in his way was the law! Under California state law he needed to pay more than $300 and comply with their laborious and strict legal requirements before his name change could happen. He decided that this was unfair and alongside the ACLU decided to go to court to battle it out. Abcnews.go.com states that,

“California is one of 44 states with unequal name change laws for people getting married. Right now, only six states — Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Massachusetts, New York and North Dakota — explicitly allow a man to change his name through marriage with the same ease as a woman can.”

Is it right that women can change their names so easily upon marriage yet men are forced into an expensive and laborious labyrinth of red tape in the USA? Without doubt it is a lot easier for men in the UK as they need only execute a change of name by Deed Poll, pay up the £29.99 fee and this guarantees that their new surname is legal and accepted by everyone without question.

Whether newlyweds choose to merge names, create a completely new one or both be known by the bride’s surname, isn’t the most important thing that it should be personal choice for them how they wish themselves to be known upon their marriage?

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As soon as word of your newly engaged status leaks out your friends and family will want to know if you intend on having an engagement party. Whilst throwing an engagement party is by no means necessary it does give you the perfect opportunity to officially announce your engagement and a chance to celebrate this exciting time with your friends and family. An engagement party is the first of many pre-wedding parties that you are likely to be the star of! Nowadays before you even make it up the aisle you are likely to be attending your own wedding shower, bachelorette/hen party, bridesmaids luncheon, rehearsal dinner and bridal brunch.

Advantages of throwing an engagement party:

♥ It gives you the perfect opportunity to officially announce your engagement.

♥ A party gives you a chance to celebrate your newly engaged status with your friends and family and show off your ring!

♥ It also provides an opportunity for both you and your partner’s family and friends and (if you have an inkling of who you might choose) your intended bridal party to meet each other prior to your wedding day.

♥ An engagement party provides a perfect excuse to get your friends and family together for some fun!

Here are some tips and ideas on how to throw a memorable engagement party.

Timing

Traditionally an engagement party is held up to two months after you become officially engaged. If you prefer you can choose to postpone organizing the engagement party until you have chosen a wedding date or until the wedding date you have chosen is closer.

Who is the host?

Traditionally it is the couple’s parents who organize and host an engagement party. However if it is not feasible for either set of parents to organize the party (if they don’t live in the same town as the couple or if there are any awkward family relationships) it is acceptable for a friend or family member to host the event. It is also worth keeping in mind that it is becoming increasingly popular for couples to organize the party themselves. This is a great idea particularly if you want to surprise your guests with your engagement news at the actual party (you could send out party invitations without revealing the true reason behind the celebration). There are no hard and fast rules, so do whatever is appropriate for you. Try not to offend anyone though if they offer to host an engagement party for you. Make the decision of what you and your fiancé want and politely decline any other offers. Something to bear in mind is that whoever hosts the party is also expected to foot the bill, so think long and hard if your parents or a generous relative or friend is offering to throw a party for you! Remember too that if someone else actually hosts your engagement party it will allow you and your fiancé the freedom to circulate at the party rather than greeting guests, taking coats and serving food and drinks.

Party Budget

Work out whether you want a small or large scale engagement party and calculate a budget for it. Write down all the elements of the party including the invitation, the food, the drink, the entertainment and the decorations. Be realistic if you are paying for the event yourself. You don’t want to be still paying for the engagement party once you are into the wedding planning stage!

Venue

Engagement parties can be as formal or as casual as you choose. The purpose is to celebrate your engagement with those who are close to you, not to spend copious amounts of cash on food, drinks and party decorations. Try to keep in mind that some of the most enjoyable and memorable engagement parties are simple low-key events. That being said, if you or your parents have your hearts set on a full-blown elaborate sit-down dinner at a classy restaurant then I’m sure your guests will be more than happy to join you at such an event. You might prefer to have a formal engagement party for your parents and then a more casual party with your friends. It is completely up to you. Here are some ideas for celebrating your engagement:

♥ If it is within the host’s budget then how about a brunch or lunch buffet at your favorite restaurant.

♥ If you want something less formal then how about a casual cocktail party at your local bar. You could block off a room for a private party at your local bar and provide cocktails and hors d'oeuvres.

Remember that with either of these options you cannot under any circumstances ask your party guests to pay for anything.

Here are some popular options which are more affordable if you are on a tight budget:

♥ The most popular venue for engagement parties is at the home of either the couple or their parents. At home engagement party ideas include:

♥ Host a champagne or cocktail party with a casual buffet or hors d'oeuvres. Serve tasty food that is easy to eat and serve. For menu ideas take a look at Entertaining.about.com. If you prefer you can call in a professional caterer who will be able to devise an engagement themed menu and provide staff to serve and clean up at the party.

♥ With regard to drinks concoct some romantic themed cocktails and ensure that wine, beer and soft drinks are also available. You can bulk buy these from a discount or club store.

♥ You could just serve a selection of delicious desserts with drinks.

♥ Host a cheese and wine themed party.

♥ A backyard barbecue is the most common style of outdoor engagement party. Decorate your backyard with strings of fairylights and candles in the evening to create a romantic atmosphere.

♥ How about a group picnic in the park, on the beach or at another scenic local area, such as a vineyard, a museum or on a party boat. Try to choose somewhere that has a special significance to you both (e.g. the scene of your first date).

♥ Host a simple afternoon tea party. You could provide an assortment of teas, coffee and sandwiches served on pretty platters and decorated cakes displayed on elegant cake stands.

♥ To add a further element of fun to your party how about hosting a themed engagement party. There are many different themes which you could choose from but my favorite would be a Mexican theme (you could have a Mariachi band, hire a margarita machine (check out MrMargarita.com for details), have piñatas and serve Mexican food!). Just because you choose to celebrate your engagement with a theme your guests will not automatically assume that you are likely to use the same theme for your wedding!

♥ Remember that if you are hosting an engagement party at your home then you must make sure that there is enough parking space available for your guests. If you are planning a large-scale party perhaps you should consider hiring a valet service

Decoration

Just because you might be on a tight budget does not mean that you cannot be creative with decorations for your engagement party.

♥ Decorate the engagement party venue with photo collages of the two of you including photos of you both growing up and once you met one another.

♥ Use romantic yet inexpensive decorations such as heart-shaped balloons, red tablecloths and napkins, banners, heart-shaped chocolates or candies in elegant bowls and candles casting a soft atmospheric glow.

♥ Order a pretty cake with either a photo of the two of you printed on it or simply with your names upon it.

♥ Whilst you have all of your potential wedding guests in one place (and if you have decided on a wedding date) why not hand out save-the-date magnets or candies. For cute save-the-date ideas check out my blog on this topic.

♥ You could use flowers to provide a stunning centerpiece on your engagement party serving tables or simply place vases of flowers around the room.

Invitations

Choosing engagement invitations is a lot more fun than choosing wedding invitations so make the most of it! There are no ground rules with these party invites – they can be formal, informal, or even made verbally. Once you decide on a date and venue for the party let your guests know so that they can mark their calendar. By sending out an invitation you are also giving them a chance to RSVP. You will need to have an idea of how many people you will be catering for.

You could create unique party invitations by using your engagement photo or a photo of the two of you together. If you are planning on having a themed engagement party (e.g. a barbeque, tea party or a Mexican party) you can use this as a basis for the style of your party invitation. If you are planning on making your own party invitations you might find it helpful to check out the sample invitation wordings at Chelseapaper.com or Announcingit.com.

Guest List

How many guests you invite to your engagement party is up to you (and whoever is hosting the party), your budget and the number of people your venue will allow. Etiquette dictates that anyone who is invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding. If it is the case that even at this stage you are thinking that your wedding will be an intimate family-orientated affair then you should make those non-family guests you have invited to your engagement party aware of this so that there are no surprises for them when your wedding invitations are sent out.

Gifts

It is common knowledge that gifts should definitely not be expected at an engagement party. However it is likely that some guests will want to buy you something. If you do decide to register for gifts at this early stage of your wedding planning, do not put the registry information on the engagement party invitation. Let your parents know where you're registered in case people ask them (see my blog for further advice on this). If you don’t know what type of gifts to register for then how about asking for engagement gifts which will help you to organize and plan your upcoming wedding (e.g. a subscription to a wedding website, a subscription to a bridal magazine, tickets to a local wedding show, books on wedding planning).

If receiving gifts would make you uncomfortable you might prefer to explicitly state on the party invitation that engagement gifts are not necessary.

Entertaining your party guests

Contrary to popular belief you do not have to subject guests at your engagement party to endless cheesy party games. The most important thing is that your family and friends get to know one another in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. Here are a few simple ideas of how to entertain your guests and hopefully encourage them to mingle.

♥ If it’s a daytime barbeque or picnic you are hosting, then why not organize an outdoor sporting event such as a game of softball, volleyball or even croquet for your guests. This will give them the perfect opportunity to bond.

♥ Just as you would at any party try to make introductions between guests and point out possible common interests.

♥ You can use visual props as icebreakers at your party. For example type up your engagement story and the story of how you met, frame it and display it for the guests to read. This will be sure to get them talking.

♥ Arrange to have an official engagement photo taken of you and then display it at your engagement party. A cute idea is also to display old photos of you and your fiancé as children, when you were growing up and when you first got together. This is traditionally a great conversation starter.

♥ To give your guests a heads up on who is who and your families structure display a family tree showing both families.

♥ Music at a party definitely enhances the atmosphere and encourages guests to interact. If you are hosting a large-scale party then how about organizing a live jazz band, a Mariachi band (perfect for a Mexican themed party), a pianist or a classical musician (violin, harp, acoustic guitar etc). Choose musical entertainment to match the theme and style of your party.

♥ By throwing the party in the evening your guests are more likely to relax and let go of their inhibitions and will be more inclined to get up and dance.

♥ If you have already started planning your wedding by the time the engagement party comes around then why not create a video photo montage including in it pictures of the church or wedding venue, the intended reception venue, your chosen transportation and other wedding planning ideas you have had. If you have decided on your bridal attendants you could even include footage of each of them to introduce them to your friends and family. This will give your guests a taster of the upcoming wedding.

♥ It is definitely a good idea to set up a microphone so that your host can make a toast to you both. If you place it in a prominent location it will encourage guests, as the party progresses, to make spontaneous toasts to you both.

♥ If you want to save money then rather than hiring an official photographer, why not ask a family member or friend who is reliable and has a certain amount of expertise with a camera to capture your engagement party for posterity in pictures or even on video. Alternatively ask party guests with cameras to share their photos with you after the party. It’s great to have photos as a keepsake of such a special event.

♥ I read about this idea on a wedding forum and I thought it sounded great. You provide two large white sheets of poster board and write "Wedding Advice From the Women" across the top of one and "Wedding Advice From the Men" on the other with a heavy marker pen. Attach a pen to each board and encourage your party guests to leave notes about things they learned while planning their own weddings or simply wedding planning suggestions from non-married guests. Not only will this give guests an opportunity to offer you their advice but you will inevitably come away with lots of helpful information which will serve you well in the upcoming wedding planning stages! If you want something less obtrusive than poster boards you could use pretty stationary or even index cards on a table at the party instead. You could stick them into an engagement scrapbook after the party alongside your photos and other engagement mementoes.

For more unique ideas on how to encourage your party guests to mingle check out my blog on this subject.

Don’t get stressed out by the details of your engagement party. Make the most of this special time before the ensuing chaos of planning your actual wedding begins! Organize a party that feels right for you and your fiancé. If you are relaxed and enjoying yourself then your family and friends are sure to have a great time too!

The last but most important piece of advice I can give you is to relax, enjoy your engagement party and have a good time with your friends and family. Remember that they are all there to celebrate your love and upcoming nuptials not to judge you on your choice of party nibbles!

Congratulations - I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your engagement!

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You’re Engaged!

Congratulations! Without a doubt getting engaged is one of the most exciting moments of your life. You have decided that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and overnight you have changed status from being simply a girlfriend/boyfriend to a fiancé! After the initial excitement (and perhaps shock) of being engaged has settled you will inevitably want to share your fantastic news with those closest to you. If you are ready to share your news with your family, friends and the world at large then here are a few tips on how best to spread the good news.

How to break the news

When you are ready to share your engagement news with the world you initially have to decide how you want to make your announcement. Here are your options:

♥ A personal announcement is always preferable if you live near the announcee. If possible try to both be present when you make the announcement to family and friends, that way they can congratulate you both together!

♥ If logistically you are unable to see the announcee in person then a popular alternative is a personal phone call. This is the most personal way to break the news of your engagement to out of town family and friends.

♥ Sending e-mails is now an accepted method of making your engagement announcement. This is a quick and convenient way of sharing your news with all of your family and friends, particularly those who live in far flung corners of the world.

♥ Setting up a wedding website is popular as it enables you to share every detail of your proposal story with your friends and family all at once. These websites also allow you to swiftly communicate details about your upcoming wedding to all of your friends and family and even display your engagement photo on it. You can create a wedding website for free - have a look on the internet (TheKnot.com provide a great free wedding webpage with stylish designs and lots of helpful wedding planning tools).

♥ For some you might find that writing a personal letter is the perfect way of announcing your engagement. Bear in mind that if you intend on writing letters to all of your family and friends you might well end up with very sore hands! In certain circumstances where you want to share your engagement news with someone but would prefer not to speak to them in person (e.g. the family of your late spouse, a friend who is recently divorced etc.) then a handwritten letter is wholly appropriate.

♥ Surprise your family with an announcement at a family dinner party.

♥ Alternatively you might prefer to throw an engagement party which could be hosted by yourselves, by your parents or by friends. You can choose to either announce your engagement in the party invitations you send out or make a surprise announcement during the party. Engagement parties do not have to be formal, stuffy or expensive affairs - you could have a backyard barbeque or a drinks party at a local bar. A party is definitely a fun way to spread your engagement news, celebrate your newly engaged status and show off your engagement ring!

Top Tip: When compiling a guest list for your party bear in mind that those who you invite will probably expect an invitation to your wedding too.

Top Tip: Although they are not obliged to, it is entirely feasible that some friends and family will want to buy you an engagement gift. If you prefer not to register for gifts at a store this early then you can decline their offers and even, print “gifts not requested” on the party invitations. Alternatively you can explain that you do not intend to register for gifts until nearer the wedding date but that you intend to register at stores “X” and “Y” - at least that way they can buy you some gift vouchers if they insist on celebrating your engagement by buying you a gift.

♥ Whilst mailing out formal announcement cards used to be the traditional way of notifying family and friends of your engagement, this is now less popular. The reason for this is that nowadays couples are realizing that by sending these cards they run the risk of the recipient misinterpreting it as an invitation to their wedding. If guest lists are far from your mind at this stage of your initial wedding planning then err on the side of caution and do not send out formal engagement announcement notices. You can send out more details about the wedding later on when you have had a chance to decide who you would like to invite to your wedding.

♥ If you would like to announce your engagement to the general public then you should consider a traditional newspaper announcement in your local paper.

Top Tips for placing a newspaper announcement

♥ Your first step should be to decide which newspaper you want the announcement to appear in. You might want it submit it to your own local paper as well as that of your parents.

♥ If your wedding is being planned for soon after the engagement then get the announcement in to the newspaper as early as possible as it can take up to a month for it to appear in print.

♥ Once you have decided which newspaper, contact their lifestyle or society editor to establish their submission policy. Questions to ask are what are their guidelines, fees (some newspapers run the announcement for free!) and deadlines.

Top tip: Always check the newspaper’s submission policy as they do vary between publications.

♥ Some newspapers allow photos of the engaged couple, so it is worth checking what their policy is on this. Ask if the photo must be black and white or color and check to see if you can email the photo to them (this will save you from having to provide them with your original photo which you might well not get back and also avoids the risk of the photo getting lost in the mail).

♥ Decide who the announcement is being made by; your parents, your fiancé’s parents or by you and your fiancé.

♥ Your announcement should include the following information:

♦ You and your fiancé’s full names, hometowns and (if you wish) brief education and career credentials.

♦ Each sets of parent’s full names. Include your parents’ hometowns if they do not live in the same town as you or each other.

♦ The wedding date or even simply the year you intend to get married.

♦ The city and state in which you intend your wedding to take place.

♥ If you have not yet made the decision as to wedding date and location then you do not have to include this information at this stage. If you have decided on the month or year your wedding is due to take place then the following wording could be used instead:

“A fall wedding is planned/An April wedding is planned/The wedding is set to take place in 2008”.

♥ Here are some sample wordings for your newspaper announcement:

The Bride's Family

Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Jones of Geneva announce the engagement of their daughter, Ella to Ray Sparks, son of Tom and Kath Sparks of Milwaukee. Ms. Jones graduated …… etc.

Divorced Parents

Mr. Nigel Jones, of Geneva, and Ms. Hannah Salter, of Elgin, announce the engagement of their daughter, Ella to Ray Sparks. Ms. Jones graduated …… etc.

Single Parent

Ms. Hannah Salter announces the engagement of her daughter, Ella Jones to Ray Sparks, the son of Tom and Kath Sparks of Milwaukee. Ms. Jones is also the daughter of Nigel Jones of Geneva. Ms. Jones graduated …… etc.

Remarried Parent

Ms. Hannah Salter and Mr. Bob Clackett announce the engagement of Ms. Salter’s daughter Ella Jones to Ray Sparks. Ms. Jones …….. etc.

Deceased Parent

Mrs. Hannah Jones announces the engagement of her daughter, Ella to Ray Sparks. Ms. Jones, also the daughter of the late Nigel Jones, graduated from the University of Harvard and is a kindergarten teacher at Busy Bees in Elgin. Mr. Sparks, the son of Tom and Kath Sparks, graduated from the University of Michigan and is a sales executive with the Nectar Corporation in Elgin.

Announcement by the Bride and Groom

Ella Jones, a graduate of Harvard University, is to be married to Ray Sparks, a graduate of Michigan University. Ms. Jones, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Jones, is a kindergarten teacher at Busy Bees in Elgin. Mr. Sparks is a sales executive with the Nectar Corporation in Elgin.

♥ Nowadays many newspapers allow you to fill in an online submissions form. If this service is not available to you then the best way to avoid handwriting discrepancies is to type up the engagement announcement for submission to the newspaper.

♥ Ask to see a proof copy for approval before it goes to print to check for mistakes.

Who to tell first

Traditional wedding etiquette dictates that you should share your engagement news in the following order:

If you have children

♥ Once you are engaged the first people you should tell are your children. You definitely need their support, if not their approval, of your future nuptials before you can start making any plans.

♥ You should inform your children of your engagement as soon as possible so that they have plenty of time to adjust to the idea. We are bombarded by the media, particularly by television shows such as "The Brady Bunch", with images of perfectly blended stepfamilies. Of course there will be tears and turbulence as your family unit changes size with your upcoming wedding but becoming a proper united family is not an unattainable feat - it just needs time and perseverance!

♥ You should definitely let your children decide for themselves if they want to participate in your wedding.

Your parents

♥ Traditionally the bride’s parents are informed first of the engagement, then the grooms immediately afterwards.

Your family and close friends

♥ Next you should let your grandparents, siblings and other close relatives and friends know about your engagement. Of course if you want to break the news to them all at once then a surprise announcement at a party or family dinner would be the perfect way of achieving this.

Top Tip: When deciding who to announce your engagement to first consider whether any of your friends or family would be miffed at not being told your news immediately.

If you are divorced

♥ If you are divorced without children then there is no need for you to mention your upcoming marriage to your ex-spouse unless you are on good terms with them and keep in touch with each others news.

♥ If you are divorced with children then you must let your ex-spouse know about your upcoming nuptials. If your children are old enough then you can ask if they would prefer to tell their parent about your wedding or if they want you to break the happy news. You should try to let your ex-spouse know as soon as possible after you have told your children about your engagement, so that your children do not have to keep it a secret and will free to discuss your upcoming wedding openly.

♥ If you are not on speaking terms with your ex then you could put your news in a letter to them and mention that you have explained it to your children and that your wish is for your children to be a part of your wedding day. Although as co-parent you don’t need permission for your own children to participate in your wedding ceremony, it would make things easier all round if your ex-spouse was consulted at an early stage so that any objections could be aired and discussed and you could guarantee their full co-operation with your upcoming wedding plans.

If you are a widow or widower

♥ If your first spouse died then you will need to be sensitive to your deceased spouse's families' feelings. Out of respect for the family you should let them know in person (if you have children by your deceased spouse and remain in constant contact with the family) or by letter (if you have become distant from them and are not used to telephoning them or seeing them in person) that you are remarrying.

♥ Whether or not you invite your deceased spouse's family to your wedding is a very delicate etiquette issue. If your children (their grandchildren) are participating in your wedding then consider whether they would enjoy attending so that they could see this. Use your own judgment as to whether you think it would stir up too many sad memories for them (and you). Encore weddings do present social and emotional issues such as this - it comes with the territory I'm afraid!

Top Tip: When breaking your engagement news try not to upstage anyone. Making the announcement during someone else’s party or celebration may not be appropriate – consider whether they will welcome sharing the limelight with you and your fiancé beforehand or even discuss it with them in private. The last thing you want is for your news announcement to be thought of as stealing someone else’s thunder!

Top Tip: Remember that whilst your engagement is thrilling for you and your fiancé, not everyone you know will share your excitement. Try not to let any negative reactions diffuse your happiness.

Top Tip: If you are making the announcement to a friend or family member who has fresh wounds from their own recent divorce or loss of a partner, then try to break the news to them as sensitively as possible. You want your news to be met with tears of joy rather than a maelstrom of grief-stricken sobbing!

Finally, the most important piece of advice I can give you is to enjoy being engaged! Try not to get too caught up with who to tell and how to tell them - remember, you should choose a way of telling the world that you are engaged which suits your own personalitiesand makes you both comfortable and happy. This is a special time for you both, so relax and enjoy it!

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Marks & Spencer’s are already an easily affordable one-stop shop for couples planning their weddings with their range of wedding products and services available, including stationary, insurance, lingerie and accessories, flowers and cakes. Now they have taken a bigger bite out of the wedding pie by launching a range of wedding dresses ranging in price from £59-£150 - perfect for the bride-to-be on a budget!

The new collection of bridal and occasionwear will be available at M&S stores and online in March 2007. The collection consists of wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses, grooms' suits, page boys’ outfits and occasionwear for guests and other attendants. According to a review at Fashionunited.co.uk brides-to-be can choose from a range of five wedding dresses which include full length and knee length skirts and strappy and bustier style dresses in classic white or cream. Take a look at one of the dresses yourself at Bridalwave.tv. I personally think that M&S’s dresses will sell very well. It’s great that modern brides are being offered the option of choosing a more affordable wedding dress. It’s about time that the wedding dress market realized that they need to make wedding dresses available to suit every pocket and every style of bride.

According to lse.co.uk the average bride spends £826 on her wedding dress. This is a huge amount of money to spend on a dress which will only be worn once, even if the wedding dress is one of the main focal points at a wedding. Every bride wants her chance to play dress-up and shine like a fairytale princess or a Hollywood star on her wedding day, but nowadays there is no need for you to spend such a huge proportion of your wedding budget just to get yourself a beautiful dress. With the advent of the new ranges of off-the-peg wedding dresses being produced by stores such as Asda, H&M and M&S you can grab yourself an elegant wedding dress without having to compromise on style and fashion and most importantly without having to pay designer prices!

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Liz Hurley To Change Wedding Outfit 13 Times!

Back in October I wrote about a site called Bloglines.com that I use to keep me up to date with all the wedding industry news on a daily basis. I highlighted the ease with which it is possible for me to read various stories without having to visit the actual web sites if I don’t want to. This all happens due to the magic of RSS (Really Simple Syndication) feeds, certainly every blog has such a feed – though not all web sites do. This might not be news to everyone, but for those brides discovering it for the first time you will certainly enjoy the luxury of having all your news in one place.

One site I am always excited to hear the latest news from is the Wedding Podcast Network (WPN), at WeddingPodcastNetwork.com, run by husband and wife team Robert Allen and Holli Ehrlich. They provide an alternative to mainstream wedding planning advice in a portable, on-demand format you can listen to where ever you are. WPN allows brides and grooms to easily listen to advice on wedding planning and obtain valuable information in an entertaining and educational format that can be downloaded to an iPod, MP3 player, mobile phone or on the computer free of charge. I love the idea of downloadable audio giving me the opportunity to control which specific wedding programs I hear, when, and even where.

Listen To Free Wedding Advice Today:

I recommend you open a Bloglines account and subscribe to the main Wedding Podcast Network feed today.

Robert Allen, WPN co-founder and executive producer says:

“We wanted to establish an authoritative resource for brides and grooms that are planning their wedding, but realize they have busy lives, whether they are commuting to work, working out at the gym or running errands. Wedding Podcast Network is like listening to wedding talk radio on-demand on your iPod or computer.”

Robert and Holli offer not only authoritative but also entertaining and fun shows to listen to. You can keep copies of your favourite shows and play them over and over again.

The Wedding Podcast Network features seven original internet radio programs including:

♥ Meet the Masters - Listen To Show Here - Exclusive interviews with the wedding industry’s foremost style shapers and consultants. Guests have included Preston Bailey, Ron Ben-Israel, Sylvia Weinstock, Laura Geller, John Mahdessian of Madame Paulette, and celebrity wedding planners Ann David and Nicky Reinhard.

♥ Bridal Scene - Listen To Show Here - Trends and happenings including exclusive, behind-the-scenes interviews from the industry’s premier shows and events. Some of the subjects of on-site guest interviews have included bridal registry trends, destination weddings, bridal beauty, scrapbooking, invitations and honeymoons. Recents podcasts include a couple of entertaining shows from the Bridal Market in New York City (part 1 and 2).

♥ Lovecast - Listen To Show Here - Relationship advice from The Love Doctor, Dr. Terri. Dr. Terri teaches listeners how to accept differences, communicate, and resolve conflicts. Fun quizzes, valuable advice and important life lessons about one’s significant other and each other's families are part of the programming. Men and women differ greatly how they talk about the relationship with their partner - listen to these podcasts to find out why!

♥ Newlywedcast - Listen To Show Here - Real couples recount their wedding stories and share firsthand advice from a purely personal perspective. Listeners hear unique proposal stories, surprising confessions, original ideas
and secrets to planning a successful wedding. Listen to newlyweds, Kim and Quint, share the details of their April destination wedding in Lake Tahoe, California and wedding at the Sugar Bowl Ski Resort. Or how Jamie and Daniel planned their wedding in just 4 days!

♥ Wedding Workout - Listen To Show Here - This fitness-focused podcast offers advice and tips on how to lose a size and get gown ready before the walk down the aisle. So get pumped! get motivated! and become a buff bride today! Listen to Real Pilates owner Alycea Ungaro discuss how exercise is an enormous stress reliever which is critical during wedding planning.

♥ Grooms with a View - Listen To Show Here - Grooms offer their perspective on the big day. In the first show Craig Michaels, author of Thirty to Wife (see my review here), talks about what every prospective groom should expect at a wedding. Craig shares some great cost saving ideas without cheapening the affair.

♥ Planet Bride - Listen To Show Here – Michand Henry Roth, sister and brother design duo, share their three generations of family bridal tradition and take you on a unique wedding planning journey. Hear how to get real and how to deal from a pair that know the wedding business like no other. In their first show Henry & Michdiscuss the ever important pivotal component that sets the tone for the whole wedding - the wedding dress!

If you have any questions about RSS and podcasts just pop me an email and I will do my best to help.

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A message to all grooms:

If you can't absolutely trust your best man to look after the rings in a safe and easily accessible place, it might be worth hanging on to them yourself!

Play the video for a reminder of what can happen if you don't!

Pass this link on to a groom near you!

x

P.S. Here's another thing grooms need to check before the day - watch now!

(Video courtesy of Holeproof Underdaks - Now with a Pocket!)

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Craig Michael’s new book “Thirty to Wife”, available from Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk, was born from his very own experiences of getting married. He found he didn’t have many people to turn to for real, honest advice and your average wedding book was simply focused on lists and responsibilities. He was fed up with to do lists and magazines strategically left around the house and wanted to write a book that really went out of its way to educate and advise grooms.

The title “Thirty to Wife” is apt because Craig's book tells the story of the 30 days leading up to his wedding day. It is in effect a countdown where we take the ride along side him, every step of the way - experiencing the highs and the lows. It’s a clever title, though Craig can’t take credit for it as his wife Deb thought of it! Luckily he does deserve much applause for its content! In fact Deb's forward says:

If only CRAIG put a fraction of the effort into our wedding planning that he did writing this book.

If only.

And so the book begins:

From Day 30: Welcome to my world. Seatbelts not required, but strongly encouraged.

Never was I so sure of anything in this world. Buoyed by excessive alcohol, a ticking biological clock (guys get them too), and a natural urge to ensure survival of the fittest (vision impairments aside), I got down on one knee and asked Deb to marry me.

It wasn't the most romantic moment. Or the most graceful. But it was ours to cherish forever. Or at least a few days.

"No planning for two months. Guaranteed," Deb promised as she basked in the glow of her engagement ring.
We didn’t make it two hours.
"Who are your groomsmen?"
"What food should we serve?"
"Where should we honeymoon?"
"When will we register?"
Why, oh why did I start us down this path?

I found “Thirty to Wife” to be all together more superior than anything else I have read in the groom/wedding book category. At the heart of this book is a humorous, real life and in depth pre-wedding narrative that makes it such a joy to read. Through all 263 pages you hear Craig’s voice, providing comfort, guidance and real world experiences that both sexes can relate to. In addition this book packs a massive punch with many comprehensive lists of what every groom needs to know, from proposing to the wedding day.

I loved the way you can follow a really engaging wedding story, yet pick up many useful tips and advice along the way. If you’re a bride you may wonder whether this account of a thirty-something man’s last 30 bachelor days is for you? I have to admit I had the same question. Yes “Thirty to Wife” is groom oriented but nevertheless it is definitely bride friendly. I can see women using this book to assist men in being the grooms they dreamt of marrying and get their favourite “so what are you really thinking” question answered without having to ask their mates!

Equally men will use the book to learn that they’re not alone in their struggle with the pressures and joys of being engaged. Ultimately when you have a book full of love, excitement and humour, told through personal experiences you have a winner for both men and women.

Craig clearly tells grooms:

“Don’t just ‘get through’ your wedding. Help out. Share in the good and bad of planning your big day. It’s something that you’re going to remember for the rest of your life. And something your bride will remind you of for the rest of your life. I looked back and realised I missed out on much of the action. And while my wedding turned out to be an amazing affair, I’ll always know that I put too much of the burden on my better half”

I really wish this book was around when I got married – not that my husband didn’t help with the planning, but more to increase his knowledge of what is involved. I know a story like this is so much better than asking a groom to read through lists of dos and don’ts. Everyone loves a good fun story!

Times have certainly changed. Years ago, the groom’s role was much more about showing up and worrying about life after marriage. It was unusual for grooms to be purposely excluded from planning altogether, as weddings were strictly the domain of the bride and her mother!

Lets face it more couples are planning their weddings as a team and if this is the case for you, you will definitely need a guidebook. You may think all the bridal magazines you have laying around your house constitute the necessary foundation to plan the perfect wedding, but for a groom this couldn’t be further from the truth. They need a manual / novel / lads magazine that informs them, yet makes them laugh. This is where Craig has excelled by creating the right mix to relay everything a groom needs to know without boring him. He saw the opportunity to write something truly unique and educate grooms on what to expect from engagement to his wedding day. I can’t recommend “Thirty to Wife” highly enough, though I’m not the only one!

Some Amazing Testimonials:

"Understands the plight of the groom." - Newsday

"Very funny...holds nothing back..." - Minneapolis Star Tribune

"Helpful advice...tell-all style." - Oakand Tribune

Every page is rich in wedding lists, tips and insights but so as you get a real free for its contents I have set out a list of some of my favourites:

Top Pages Every Groom Needs To Read - Sooner Rather Than Later!

* The Guy's Guide To Wedding Responsibilities - pages 16 - 17
* Who Pays What? - Page 32
* Is That A Ruler In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To Get Sized? (Key body measurements for your tuxedo) - Page 40
* A Handy Guide to Tying A Bowtie - Page 41
* Gifts For Your Groomsmen - Show Your Posse That You Care - page 41
* The Bachelor Party - Basic Bachelor Party Rules - pages 75 - 76
* Want To Know The Cut Of A Woman? Look At The Cut Of Her Diamond - pages 116 - 117
* How To Calm Her Nerves - page 157
* Nee To Drop A Few Pounds? A Few Inches? A Few Feet? - pages 174 - 176
* A Handy Emergency Kit For You To Pack To Ensure Smooth Sailing On Your Wedding Day - page 210
* Playing The Wedding Horror Bingo Game - page 223
* Last Night Reminders For Nervous Grooms To Be - page 231

And Finally These Two Absolute Must Reads:

* The Complete Guide To The Groom's Wedding To Do's - pages 246 - 257
* The Complete Guide To The Grooms' Party Responsibilities - pages 258 - 263

See Craig Talk About His Book:

Craig is interviewd on NBC11 San Francisco talking about how a groom should get involved and how he wishes he had been a little bit more supportive.

Book Details:
Thirty to Wife
The Tell-All Groom's Guide to Weddings
How to Get Hitched Without Losing Your Mind or Your Fiancée

Paperback: 263 pages
Publisher: Marlowe & Company (7 Jul 2006)
Language: English
ISBN: 1569242968

More information about "Thirty to Wife" can be found out on Craig's website, Groom411.com

Final Words:

"Thirty to Wife" is simply a Must Read for all grooms. This book will motivate them, guide them and entertain them - for the price of a round of beers turn your husband-to-be into Super Groom! Be sure to check out this podcast where Craig talks to Robert Allen on the Wedding Podcast Network about what every groom can expect at his own wedding.

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A seating plan is an essential piece of stationery for your wedding reception. By having a seating plan on display for wedding guests to refer to you avoid any unnecessary confusion about where they are expected to sit. Seating plans also prevent the usual chaos which can prevail if you have an open seating arrangement at your wedding reception, which traditionally begins with a mass free for all as guests seat themselves and ends with a few lonely people ambling around the reception room looking for a spare seat or a friendly face!

You can tell I am a real advocate of seating plans at weddings, so I was fascinated to come across the TheTablePlanner.com stand at the National Wedding Show last weekend. They are a table planner design company who produce stylish and distinctive table plans. I was impressed with the quality of their beautifully framed and mounted table plans and by the diverse and quirky design assortment they offer. I hardly had a chance to speak to Creative Director Mike Daniels at the show as he was surrounded by a throng of prospective bride and grooms asking questions about his funky table planners, which has to be a sign of their popularity!

“Ideal for events, functions and weddings. Thetableplanner.com offers you a fresh and exciting new idea to compliment your special occasion. We have a team of designers who will work with you to create a unique table plan for you and your guests. The table plan will then become a picture that records your cherished day as a memento of you with your family and friends.”

Take a look for yourself at the website to see the unique and distinctive array of table plans you could choose from, the themes range from “Reservoir Dogs” to “Greek Gods". The table plan designs are all created by the design team who are more than happy to custom design your table plan depending on your wedding theme, hobbies or interests. How about personalising your table plan by basing it on your favourite sport (Formula 1), your chosen honeymoon destination (Hawaii) or one of your interests (Cocktails)! I particularly liked the James Bond themed table plan which is not shown on the website but was on display at the Wedding Show - this is surely a design which prove to be popular with every groom for their own 007 wedding reception! I think that these table plans would be particularly great if you are hosting a themed wedding - you could use the design of the table plan to convey your wedding theme. I wish I had known about them when I planned my wedding as it was loosely based on a golf theme but unfortunately we did not think of carrying this through to the seating plan and table names.

Once you have chosen a table plan design all you have to do is provide the design team with the table layouts and wedding guests’ names typed in word or excel format and they create the table planner for you.

Prices for the table plans start at £395. Whilst this might seem like quite a princely sum for a table plan, do bear in mind that these table plans look like pieces of artwork and would definitely look fantastic adorning a wall in your house after your wedding as a lasting keepsake of your special day. Thetableplanner.com are also able to provide table number or name cards for each table utilising the same design theme, as well as holders for these and place cards. If your reception venue is unable to provide you with an easel or suitable wall fixture to display the table planner on then Thetableplanner.com are able to provide this too.

These table plans could bring the fun and colourful element to your wedding reception which will have your guests talking about it for years to come! This is a very original concept and I imagine it will be popular with couples who want their weddings to be unique. You will not find these anywhere else and I imagine even the most adept wedding DIY expert would not want to attempt one of these masterpieces themselves.

Take a look and see for yourself. Happy planning!

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Wedding planning is not the exclusive domain of the bride - that is Doug Gordon's point in his new book "The Engaged Groom". He takes the stance that no groom need be left out in the cold when it comes to the decision making. In fact there is plenty of scope for the groom to take charge of certain tasks and responsibilities. Indeed this book is a revelation, grooms now have the chance to get active with their very own wedding planning guide. It can be bought from Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk.

"The Engaged Groom" all started with Doug's blog called PlanetGordon.com with the first entry on the 2nd September 2003 at 6:17pm.

It read:

A Decent Proposal

I got engaged on Wednesday. Actually, that statement is a little too passive. Makes it seem like I picked up something on the way home from work or dropped a subscription card in the mailbox or developed some sort of temporary condition for which medication or a topical ointment is available from my doctor.

Let's start over.

I proposed to my girlfriend on Wednesday night.

To continue reading this blog entry please take a look at this page and scroll to the bottom.

I divulge, having read all 279 pages I can confidently hold my hand up and say that "The Engaged Groom" is a must read for all grooms that want to get involved in their wedding. Doug's funny style of writing makes it a real joy to read. Grooms will quickly learn a whole array of tips and practical information. In fact if they take all of his advice on board they will be heading to their local beauty salon for a manicure - it makes sense really when you think of how many people will want to see the groom's ring on the big day!

Whether they have just a few questions or many this is definitely the book for all grooms. As a bride, if your groom is worried about how to minimize the risk of his best man forgetting the rings (page 237) or how he can ensure he won't say the wrong thing during the speeches (page 251) - this is the book for him.

I practicularly liked the following sections, for their excellent overviews and useful tips :

Paying for the Wedding - Doug gives a good review of the various costs associated with planning a wedding. Interestingly he picks up on the how often couples forget to budget for gratuities, something I have extensively written about here.

Picking a Date and Venue - I quickly learnt the pros and cons of having your wedding on a holiday three day weekend and in addition the advantages and disadvantages of choosing a destination wedding.

The Guest List - Planning a guest list is never easy, as Lesley Anne recently wrote about here, but Doug gives some great insights. This is your chance to learn who definitely does need to be invited. You can also get the lowdown on inviting the President of the United States or The Pope!

Food and Music - This is your chance to have your cake and eat it! Doug recounts the day he ate no fewer than ten pieces of cake at three different bakeries. If you have a sweet tooth you definitely want to be involved with choosing the wedding cake - especially when prices at soar to as high as $10 or $15 a slice.

Turn to page 65 for an entertaining list of inappropriate songs. It is highly advisable that you always listen to the lyrics first, especially for the all important first dance. The list doesn't just stop at slow dances, some well known disco classics should be placed on your DJ's "Do Not Play List".

Photography - Here I agree with Doug, disposable cameras definitely belong to the "Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time" file. Today most guests have digital cameras and are more than happy to share their photographs with you.

On the subject of videographers, page 75 neatly sums up why this isn't an area to get too stressed about. Also check out the tips on how to make signifcant savings on this aspect of the wedding.

Best man Duties - Doug answers your questions on whether you can have two best men, or even have a female one! More importantly he gives his opinion on what groomsmens and bridesmaids should wear - it's a refreshingly honest approach that many more couples should adopt (Page 92).

What to Wear and How to Look Your Best - Expert advice on which tuxedo to wear, along with helpful hints on whether your build is best suited to a single-breasted jacket, double-breasted jacket, tailcoat or morning coat. You can also take advantage of the "How to Tie a Bow Tie" page which has been deliberately reversed so as you can tie your bow tie looking in the mirror!

Save-the-Date, Announcements, Invitations, and Getting the Word Out - "The Engaged Groom" is full of valuable tips, such as the one called "The Separation of Church and Crate (& Barrel) on page 122. Doug makes it clear that in no circumstances should you send the invitation and the registry information together. This is a massive faux pas, but unfortunately it has to be said many couples still do it. Reading other tips on getting the assembly of invitations right (page 126), the value of using wedding planning software (page 130) and why B-list wedding guest lists are more trouble than they are worth (page 133) is highly recommended.

Registries, Wedding Showers, and Thank You Notes - I really enjoyed reading the section on what things you want to register for, but shouldn't on page 150. It is both humorous and informative - a great reminder that you aren't bound to the traditional registry list of kitchen and dinnerware! Doug dicusses the whole art of getting your Thank You notes written with thought and appreciation, with particular reference to what you should and shouldn't say.

Planning the Honeymoon - Traditionally this is the groom's responsibility and though he is expected to pay for it, it really should be a joint decision as to where you go. Discover the benefits of delaying your honeymoon and why a "minimoon" might be just right for you!

The Bachelor Party - This is one of the most entertaining sections of the book. I love Doug's humour, neatly summed up in this quote:

You'll have plenty of chances to party with your friends in the future, and if you're worried that your marriage will mean a loss of your freedom. I suggest you talk to a therapist and not a stripper.

The book is full of practical advice and some common sense reminders, for example:

Never, never, never be hungover on your wedding day.

Doug leaves the debate on whether strip clubs on a bachelor party are a good idea to others, by including a random sampling of quotes from eight different women. Definitely worth reading.

A Groom's Checklist - Emergency Provisions - Turn to page 230 for a list of things that every groom should have packed in a small bag on their wedding list. Items range from personal care prodcuts, spare clothing to miscellanous essentials that are all to easy to forget.

You might not catch your groom browsing through all your wedding magazines, but I can guarantee he will find "The Engaged Groom" of real interest. Buy it today.

Doug has been interviewed and featured on TV and radio stations across the country, including this appearance on the "Today Show". You can check out the book's official website at EngagedGroom.com and the MySpace site at MySpace.com/engagedgroom

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My husband recently returned from a stag weekend in Galway. He was more than happy to offer some advice for any best man considering this beautiful West Ireland city as an option for a stag.

The following tips are based on a very successful stag that took place from Thursday 8th to Sunday 11th September 2006. Follows these guidelines and you will be more than half way to having a stag weekend that the groom will never forget!

Travel to Galway :

For an overall view of which airlines fly to Galway airport from the UK, please visit this page at FlightMapping.com

Aer Arann flies into Galway from Belfast City, Cardiff, Cork, Dublin, Edinburgh, Leeds Bradford, Liverpool, Luton, and Manchester. Flying directly into Galway means you are a 15min taxi ride (approx €15) from the city centre.

If the stag party is coming from the South and East of England and in particular London you may find cheaper options by flying to Shannon on RyanAir. Parties travelling from the South West of England can take advantage of EasyJet's flight to Shannon. A full lisitng of airlines flying to Shannon from the UK can be found here.

Shannon is 90Km (56miles) from Galway and though this might not seem far, it can take as long as 90 minutes. The AA's route planner for Ireland suggests it will take about 75 minutes but as the roads are poor expect it to take longer. There is a bus service operated by Bus Eireann, but again with the single carriageway roads the journey takes just under 2 hours.

The following rental companies have desks at Shannon airport: Avis, Budget, Europcar, Dan Dooley, Hertz, National, Sixt and Thrity

Accommodation in Galway :

It is highly recommended that you stay at Jurys Inn on Quay Street in Galway. This hotel wins over on all accounts. The location is central, and right in the heart of the city. If you are driving in be sure to print this map, so as you are fully aware of the one way systems. When you have spent over an hour and half drving from Shannon, the last thing you want is to having difficulty finding the hotel. Unfortuantely with the roads in Galway it is all to easy to end up looping the city a few times!

As well as a central location, you should be able to negogiate rates of approx €60 per person sharing a 3 person room. Ideally you will get a twin room with a sofa bed, but this isn't always the case so it is best to check.

The hotel bar is perfect for meeting up pre stag nights. Many stags can break up into smaller groups half way through the night if some people haven't eaten. Thus take advantage of the hotel's menu before heading up Quays Street for your evening out. The bar is open until 1:30am.

Breakfast is served in their restuarant called "Innfusion". Available from 8 - 11 am, so ideal for those parties who have been out late.

Pubs in Galway :

By all means visit other pubs and clubs in Galway but without doubt a great stag can be had by sticking to these 4 amazing venues:

The Kings Head at 15 High Street

Everyone recommends The Kings Head and it is easy to see why. This is a large pub that stretches over 3 floors and their nightly rock gigs at the back of the pub are fantastic. Other attractions include lunchtime theatre and Sunday jazz sessions.

Sonny's Bar & Restaurant on the High St / The Front Door on Cross Street

Sonny's is spread over two floors and stretches between two streets. A great pub for a stag party with 4 bars. Food is served from 10am to late evening.

Taaffes Pub at 19 Shop Street

Taaffes is by far the smallest of the four recommended pubs. The Guinness is great here and the live Irish music at the back of the pub make for an excellent craic!

The Quays on Quay Street

Finish your night in The Quays and I promise you a night to remember. This venue is split into two parts with two separate entrances. It is important that you move to the part that has the live music (on the right hand side as you look at it from the outside) and the later drinking hours for the ultimate craic! An admission charge of approx €10 charged near the end of the night is well worth it. You can't fail to have a terrific night.

Where to Eat in Galway :

Of course there are many places to eat in Galway. This review is simply here to tell you what the best Indians in the city are:

i. Kashmir is across the bridge from the Spanish Arch.
ii. Tulsi beside the Augustine Church on Buttermilk Walk, Middle Street
iii. Eastern Tandoori on Spanish Parade
iv. Kumar's Tastes of Asia at Swan House on Flood Street

Head for the Charcoal Grill on Cross Street Lower for an excellent kebab and burger. At a minute's walk from Quay Street there is no doubt you will be there come 3 in the morning!

Activities in Galway :

For the mature stag there is alway Galway golf club as they accept visitors on Fridays and Saturdays (limited).

Typically though you will want something a little more adventurous - The Killary Adventure Centre fits the bill perfectly. It is 70km (44 miles) from Galway - but please don't let that deceive you into thinking you will be there in under the hour. I would suggest leaving at least an hour and a half, though the scenery is stunning the roads are slow and winding. Contact the Centre here to organise a fantastic day out before you hit the bars at night.

Finally chill out on the Sunday at the famous Galway Races. There are three meetings every year, called Summer (7 days), Autumn (3 days) and October (2 days).

Enjoy your stag or hen party in Galway. Please leave comments on your experience and any information that you feel would help someone planning their stag.

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My sister announced at the weekend that she is getting remarried. This will be her second marriage. My family and I are so excited for her that she has found love again and that she is brave enough to put her faith in the institution of marriage after an acrimonious divorce.

All the wedding talk at her engagement announcement party got me thinking about planning a wedding second time around. It is a totally different scenario to organizing your first wedding - you are older (usually this is the case - I think Britney Spears’ two weddings within nine months of each other is quite unique), wiser and will have more experience of your expectations not just for your second wedding day but also your second marriage!

Whether it is due to divorce or death of a spouse increasing numbers of people are making a trip of the aisle for a second time. According to WeddingGazette.com 4 out of every 10 weddings nowadays are second marriages for one or both partners. According to the US Census Bureau one-third of couples getting married in the USA have been married before and every year nearly one million American women marry for the second time. You are in good company if you are planning on saying “I do” for the second time - Madonna, Julia Roberts, Nicole Kidman, Demi Moore, Britney Spears and more recently Pamela Anderson have all enjoyed a second trip down the aisle.

If you too are thinking about taking the plunge again then here are some top tips and advice for making your encore wedding even more unique and memorable than your first.

Announcing Your Engagement

If you have children

♥ Once you are engaged the first people you should tell are your children. You definitely need their approval of your future nuptials before you can start making any plans.

♥ You should inform your children of your engagement as soon as possible so that they have plenty of time to adjust to the idea. We are bombarded by the media, particularly by television shows such as "The Brady Bunch", with images of perfectly blended stepfamilies. Of course there will be tears and turbulence as your family unit changes size with your second wedding but becoming a proper united family is not an unattainable feat - it just needs time and perseverance!

♥ You should definitely let your children decide for themselves if they want to participate in your second wedding.

If you are a widow or widower

♥ If your first spouse died then you will need to be sensitive to your deceased spouse's families' feelings. Out of respect for the family you should let them know in person (if you have children by your deceased spouse and remain in constant contact with the family) or by letter (if you have become distant from them and are not used to telephoning them or seeing them in person) that you are remarrying.

♥ Whether or not you invite your deceased spouse's family to your second wedding is a very delicate etiquette issue. If your children (their grandchildren) are participating in your wedding then consider whether they would enjoy attending so that they could see this. Use your own judgment as to whether you think it would stir up too many sad memories for them (and you). Second weddings do present social and emotional issues such as this - it comes with the territory I'm afraid!

If you are divorced

♥ If you are divorced without children then there is no need for you to mention your second marriage to your ex-spouse unless you are on good terms with them and keep in touch with each others news.

♥ If you are divorced with children then you must let your ex-spouse know about your upcoming nuptials. If your children are old enough then you can ask if they would prefer to tell their parent about your second wedding or if they want you to break the happy news. You should try to let your ex-spouse know as soon as possible after you have told your children about your engagement, so that your children do not have to keep it a secret and will free to discuss your upcoming wedding openly.

♥ If you are not on speaking terms with your ex then you could put your news in a letter to them and mention that you have explained it to your children and that your wish is for your children to be a part of your wedding day. Although as co-parent you don’t need permission for your own children to participate in your wedding ceremony, it would make things easier all round if your ex-spouse was consulted at an early stage so that any objections could be aired and discussed and you could guarantee their full co-operation with your upcoming wedding plans.

Organizing your second wedding

When it comes to organizing a second wedding many couples choose to spend less time planning the wedding event than they did first time round and more time enjoying the run up to their wedding day. Second weddings are usually smaller and more intimate but there are no rules if you want a repeat of your first extravagant wedding. Some brides, (such as my sister) who had only a very small wedding first time round, enjoy the thought of an elaborate second wedding. My sister admits that this time round she knows exactly what she wants for her wedding day as she has attended innumerous weddings since her first wedding 12 years ago.

The advantages of organizing a wedding second time around are:

♥ You know the pitfalls and what could go wrong as you have probably experienced a few with your first wedding.

♥ You have a better idea of what style and theme of wedding you want as you have more experience of weddings you have attended over the years.

♥ You are free to create any kind of wedding you and your partner want - be as creative as you want (so long as your budget allows it!).

♥ You can invite who you want to your wedding this time round without the restrictions of having parents impose their choice of guests on you.

♥ Hopefully you are in a better financial position than you were when you first got married so you might be able to afford all of the luxury extras for your second wedding that were not within your first wedding budget.

According to Vibride.com Dee Merz, a wedding consultant with Everlasting Memories in California, says that she enjoys organizing second weddings.

“The brides know themselves better as women and they rarely break a sweat when making decisions. Grooms play a much bigger role in the planning, and every choice is geared to reflecting the couple’s unique personalities.”

Top tips when organizing your second wedding:

Venue

♥ You can host your wedding anywhere second time around, there is so much choice. I know many bride and grooms who have remarried for the second or third time in a church. Just because you are a divorcee does not automatically mean that you must remarry in a Registry Office or at other licensed premises and have a civil ceremony. If it is important to you, your partner and your family to have a religious ceremony then enquire of your local church about their policy for second marriages - some churches are stricter than others. With second marriages becoming increasingly common most ministers will understand your situation and will help you to reach a solution if you have your heart set on a religious wedding ceremony.

♥ Destination weddings have become increasingly popular for second marriages, particularly those with children as the ceremony can be incorporated into a fun family holiday!

♥ Bear in mind that it would be in bad taste to host your second wedding in the same location as your first wedding!

Legal requirements

♥ It goes without saying that in order to remarry you will need to supply the registrar with either a decree absolute proving that you are legally divorced from your first spouse, or a death certificate if you are widowed. Make sure that your paperwork is in order well in advance of applying for your marriage license.

♥ In a second marriage where children are involved ensure that you seek appropriate legal advice with regard to financial and inheritance aspects of your union and guardianship issues.

Vows

♥ Vows for a second wedding are another emotive issue which need delicate handling. Of course you promised to "love, honor and respect for all eternity" your first spouse so what do the words really mean if "eternity" turned out to be just a couple of years! The important thing with wedding vows is that you say them with confidence and believe them yourself at the time of saying them to the person you have chosen to marry.

♥ If you are looking for alternative ideas for wedding vows for your second wedding Idotaketwo.com has some unique wordings which could help you.

Wedding traditions for a second wedding

♥ The tradition of having a wedding cake is the same for a second wedding. However, according to Vibride.com throwing the bouquet, wearing a garter and throwing confetti are not proper etiquette for a second wedding. I have seen all of these things done at second and third weddings so I think it is just a case of do whatever feels right for you on your wedding day.

♥ You probably already have an album full of photos from your first wedding that you rarely look at nowadays but don't let this put you off having a photographer at your second wedding. Of course you will want a record of your second wedding, especially if it is the first wedding for one of you.

♥ When it comes to the question of walking up the aisle you might think it improper to ask your Father or whomever gave you away at your first wedding but there are no etiquette rules about this for second weddings. You can walk up the aisle alone, on the arm of your Father, Mother, Brother or even child if you want.

♥ The decision of whether to have attendants at your second wedding is, again, entirely up to you. There are no rules about this. Guests usually expect at least a couple of attendants at second weddings. Don't worry if you want to ask your friends or family to repeat the performance they gave as attendants at your first wedding. It is not seen as unlucky to ask the same attendants who stood by you at your first wedding to stand by you at your second wedding. A friend of mine has been Best Man at both of his brother's weddings.

♥ Bridal Showers are still appropriate for second weddings. You probably have new friends since you first married and they will want to help you celebrate your impending nuptials regardless of whether or not you have done it all before. You can choose to have a more moderate bridal shower if you prefer.

Involving Children in a Second Wedding

If you and/or your partner have children from your own relationship or from previous relationships then you will undoubtedly want them to participate in your wedding plans. The best way to make children feel involved in the whole process of organising a second wedding is to include them in the wedding planning. It is not just you who is getting remarried, so too are your children!

Whilst your choice of spouse has been your decision you should allow your children some say in your wedding planning. Discuss with them their thoughts on your second wedding and ask them how they would like to be involved. You should refer to it as "our" wedding day rather than solely yours and your partner's.

According to Jill Curtis, author of "How to Get Married Again: A Guide to Second Weddings" (available at Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk) she says,

"My research showed that children not included in at least part of the ceremony often find it more difficult to accept the stepparent. One dilemma may be for a child who thinks her "other" parent may well feel left out and not want the child to take part in a second wedding ceremony. Will it be seen as a betrayal? Or acceptance of the new stepparent?"

Make your children feel wanted and needed by giving them a role in your wedding day. Here are some ideas for ways to include them in your second wedding:

♥ Try to include something symbolic within your wedding ceremony which will signify to all present that you, your partner and your children coming together as a unified family.

♥ Some couples present their children with rings during the wedding ceremony.

♥ It is becoming increasingly popular to include a family vow after the bride and groom's vows during the wedding ceremony where children join the bride and groom to recite some words and have their new blended family blessed.

♥ Daughters can act as maids-of-honor or flower girls.

♥ Sons can stand as "best men", ushers or ring bearers.

♥ Ask your/your partner's children to walk you down the aisle and give you away.

♥ As a family stand at the altar and light a unity candle together.

♥ Ask children to be in charge of the guestbook.

♥ If they are confident speakers they could make a special toast during the wedding reception.

♥ Offer them the chance to give a reading during the wedding ceremony.

Some additional points to remember:

♥ Whatever role you or your children choose for your second wedding make sure that they are comfortable with it.

♥ Ask a family member to keep an eye on your children on your wedding day if you anticipate that you will be too distracted to keep a watchful eye on them.

♥ Remember that your wedding day marks a new beginning for your children too and it can be confusing for them, whether they are 3 years old or 15 years old.

Jill Curtis says,

"A wedding is a landmark in any family and those adults and children who have been burned by the fallout of an earlier divorce or death of a parent will be particularly sensitive to the meaning of the occasion. With some planning, a lot of discussion, and a little bit of luck, it will be a day memories are made of."

♥ If you are divorced you might find that your children have always had a secret fantasy that you and your ex would get back together again. Your second wedding will put an end to this hope so treat your child sensitively.

♥ If your split from your ex-spouse was acrimonious your impending second wedding might stir up painful memories for your children. I know that my 10 year old nephew worries that he will see his Mum be hurt again (bless him!). The best thing you can do as a parent about to embark on a second wedding is to reassure your child that this is a different situation, you are different, you are stronger and the person you are marrying is your soulmate who you want to share your life with.

To compare or not to compare?

♥ Try not to compare your second wedding to your first wedding. My sister has already begun to start sentences with “At my first wedding we had this/we did this…”. This is a definite no-go area for anyone planning their encore wedding. Your fiancé, his family and also your own family and friends do not want to be reminded of your first wedding. This wedding which you are planning now is a unique occasion and should be treated as such, not judged against your first trip up the aisle.

♥ It is an undeniable fact that guests who were present at your first wedding will compare it with your second wedding. I hold my own hands up and admit I have done it myself when I have attended first and second weddings. There is no way to prevent your guests from doing this so you should just come to terms with it before your wedding day.

♥ Don't go overboard trying to plan your second wedding to be a polar opposite of your first wedding. At the end of the day so long as you and your partner are happy with your wedding plans and do everything you can to ensure your guests enjoyment then you can't do more than that. Inevitably there will be similarities between the two weddings - besides everything else they will both involve rings, vows and celebrations of some sort!

♥ With your wedding speeches it is usual for the Best Man, Father of the Bride, Groom and even the Bride to make a reference to the lives of the bride and groom before they met and traditionally some reference to exes would be made. Tread very carefully here! It would be seen to be in poor taste if your first stab at marriage is referred to at your second wedding. You don't want to make your guests, your new partner or your children feel uncomfortable on your wedding day.

Footing the bill for a second wedding

With second weddings where the bride has been married before it is normal for the bride and groom to split the costs of the wedding between them. You should definitely not expect either set of parents to pay towards your second wedding. If it is the bride’s first wedding but the groom’s second, then you will probably find that the bride’s parents will want to contribute towards the wedding costs. It is also quite common for one or both sets of parents to offer financial help towards the wedding costs. In this case you should weigh up whether you want to accept their kind offer as financial input being given by parents can sometimes equate to organizational input being expected with your wedding. One of the main advantages of paying for your own wedding of course is that you are free to make your own decisions when planning the wedding without having input from your parents.

If you are paying for the wedding yourselves then you should create an affordable wedding budget and stick to it. As with any wedding it is possible to have your dream wedding at an affordable cost, but I think this is the case more so with second weddings as you do not need to pull out all of the stops. Second weddings for brides are more about starting a new life with your new husband than about having the expensive dress, breathtaking table ceterpieces, stylish wedding favors and other wedding paraphernalia. That being said, if you can afford it then why not go ahead and organize the extravagant wedding you have always dreamt of!

Invitations

♥ As mentioned, it is completely up to you and your partner whether you choose to have a small wedding attended only by immediate family and close friends or a larger wedding inviting everyone who is important to you both.

♥ Inviting an ex-spouse to your second wedding is thought to be bad form. It depends on your personal circumstances whether or not you want to invite your ex to your wedding. Demi Moore invited Bruce Willis to her nuptials with Ashton Kutcher and at her wedding earlier this month Pamela Anderson asked new husband Kid Rock’s ex Tamara Mellon to be her bridesmaid! If your ex-spouse is a co-parent of your children then your children might feel more at ease at the wedding if they too are invited. You should do what you and your fiancé feel comfortable with - it is your wedding day!

If you and your partner are hosting your own second wedding then the invitation should be worded along the lines of:

If it is the bride’s first wedding and her parents are contributing financially towards it then you might prefer that they host the wedding, in which case the invitation could read as follows:

If you have children you might like to include their names on the invitations or even have them named as hosts of the wedding (this would make them feel very included and very special!).

Check out Weddings.about.com for more ideas and inspiration for wording invitations for your second wedding.

Bridal Attire for Second Weddings

The most important thing for any bride on her wedding day whether it is her first, second or even eighth wedding (à la Elizabeth Taylor!) is that she feels comfortable, confident, relaxed and, most importantly, beautiful. No matter how many times someone has been married they always want to feel and look like a princess on their special day!

As an encore bride you should not feel restricted about your choice of wedding attire. Old traditions used to point second time brides away from full length gowns, veils and the wearing of ivory or white for their subsequent nuptials but this is no longer the case. You can choose any color or style you wish so long as it suits your age and flatters your figure. If you are a mature encore bride then you are unlikely to want to wear a Cinderella ball gown; you might prefer to choose a simple yet elegant sheath dress, suit or a less formal wedding gown and accessorize with a hat, decorative headpiece or tiara rather than a full veil. According to Nina Callaway of About Weddings,

“Most brides getting remarried have already had their "Princess in a white dress" moment the first time around, and so opt for a more mature look such as a brocade suit or a simple cocktail dress. However, if you eloped the first time, or simply want to have that Princess moment again, there's no reason why you can't. In fact, as divorce and remarriage becomes an evermore regular part of our society, the possibilities for what a second wedding dress can be are endless”.

To help you decide what style of wedding attire is appropriate for your second wedding you should first decide what type of wedding ceremony you are having. Are you having a traditional church wedding, outdoors wedding, destination or beach wedding? If, like Pamela Anderson, you choose to have your second wedding aboard a yacht anchored off of St Tropez, then this will dictate your style of wedding attire (in her case a white string bikini - not every encore brides' first choice I’m sure!).

Wedding Gifts for a Second Wedding

One of the main questions which crops up amongst brides, grooms and also wedding guests, is whether it is acceptable to ask for wedding gifts from guests at your second wedding. This is particularly pertinent if you have invited family and friends who already bought you a gift for your first wedding.

Wedding etiquette states that buying a gift for a couple who are getting married for the second time is definitely not mandatory. Wedding gifts are traditionally given to help a couple set up home together. Nowadays most couples live together before they walk down the aisle and so already have an established household with the requisite amount of crockery, toasters and wine glasses.

You should definitely consider registering for wedding gifts as the majority of your guests will want to buy you a gift (especially if it is a first wedding for one of you). Although typical wedding gifts may not be appropriate for a second wedding, you could consider registering for fun gifts such as equipment for a shared hobby (I attended a second wedding where the bride put golf clubs and lessons on her wedding wish list so that she could share her new husband’s love of the game!), artwork, sculptures or ornaments, a selection of fine wines, vouchers for activity days out (perfect if you have children you can share these with), plants for your garden or a donation to be made to a charity of your choice.

Keep in mind that some of your invited guests might well have been generous with their first wedding gifts to you, so if you are planning to register or ask for gifts then don’t feel hard done by if they choose not to buy you a gift or only buy you a small token gift. Surely the most important thing is that they choose to share your special day!

Personally I would have no problem buying a gift for a couple whose wedding I was invited to, even if I had already bought a gift for their previous wedding (though if it was the same two people remarrying then I would probably only buy a token gift). In my sister’s case she and her fiancé are already talking about their honeymoon which will include my two young nephews, so I suggested to her that she register for travel gift vouchers. There is a great article at Honeymoons.about.com which explains how honeymoon registry websites work. By using one of the free websites mentioned in the article you can list all of your honeymoon expenses including airfares, accommodation costs, excursions, meals, spa treatments, spending cash and even luggage on a website which is accessible to your wedding guests. This means that your guests can purchase whatever aspect or make whatever contribution towards your honeymoon they wish. If, like my sister, this idea appeals to you then you might also want to take a look at Weddingmiles.com where you can set up a registry for your guests to buy you frequent flyer miles to put towards your honeymoon or future travel once you are married.

Honeymoon Plans

Whilst many newlyweds enjoy some time to themselves on their honeymoons, it is becoming more common for couples to include their children in their honeymoon plans after a second wedding. The honeymoon presents a perfect opportunity for blended families to spend time together and share bonding experiences.

As mentioned, my sister intends on taking her two children on her honeymoon (it was her fiancé's idea!). My youngest nephew is obsessed with elephants so my sister has already mentioned that they are considering all going on a safari holiday in Africa - what a perfect way to kick-start their new life together as a family. I am sure they will share lots of great memories from the trip and get to know each other even better!

If you are lucky enough to get a second chance at marriage then I think you should ignore the statistics that say that the chances of a second marriage ending in divorce are 60% compared to 50% of first marriages. Inevitably you will be apprehensive about saying "I do" for the second time but let your hope and optimism shine through for your second wedding. Have confidence in the fact that you are a different person from the one who got married the first time - you are older and wiser second time around.

Resources I recommend for planning your encore wedding:

1,001 Ways to have a Dazzling Second Wedding by Sharon Naylor available at Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

This guidebook is perfect for women planning their second weddings. It provides the most current and applicable how-to's on such touchy subjects as: gown choice, family participation, guest diplomacy, gifts, bridal party choices, invitation wording, reception planning, religious requirements, and legalities.

Listen to this discussion about the etiquette of getting married again? Questions include what do you wear and do you have a present list? She discusses this topic with Sandra Boler consulting editor of Brides Magazine and journalist Eve Pollard.

Read this New York Times article on on how couples are embracing second weddings as wholeheartedly as first their one. Written by MarcS. Fischler, it offers an excellent insight into the whole subject of encore weddings.

More second wedding websites to check out:

Take2weddings.com - Offers marriage advice and inspirations from how to tell your children you are getting married the second time around to choosing your dress.
Idotaketwo.com - All the second wedding ideas you'll need to plan your remarriage! Leave questions on the second wedding forum and an expert will respond with an answer.
Brideagain.com - Bride Again is designed for the encore bride. It is targeted to women over 30 who have been married at least one before, have children from a previous marriage or are marrying someone with children and are currently planning to be remarried.
Encorebridemagazine.com - Thoughts, suggestions, reflections, and opinions For re-wedding brides.

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Designing your own engagement ring online has never been easier. Prospective grooms now have the opportunity to use sites such as Mondera.com. This gives them the functionality to design every aspect of the ring.

Before shopping online it is worth noting that wedding guidelines state that a man should spend approximately two months' salary on a diamond engagement ring, though obviously this is totally up to the groom at the end of the day. I would recommend though that you take the time to browse the internet and to educate yourself on all the possible options. In order to successfully design your ring it is important to understand each decision you make whilst making your order. This is one area where you don't want to make a costly mistake. It would also be prudent to take a look at your partner's existing rings to see if she has any strong preferences. Does she refer yellow or white gold, or even platinum, is there a common style that she buys for herself?

Using Mondera.com as an example, here are the steps you need to make. Firstly go to their build a ring page.

Select Your Diamond And Setting

1. Shape

The first step in creating the perfect unique ring is to select a diamond design, this involves choosing from the following shapes: round, princess, emerald, radiant, oval, pear, marquise, heart or asscher.

One of the most popular is the Round Diamond Cut. This shape is generally more expensive than any of the other fancy shapes that can be bought. It is of course not perfectly round but in fact has 58 facets including the culet. One of the newest shapes is the attractive Princess Cut, the appealing factor being the fact that it is rectangular but with the brilliance of a round cut. Another rectangular shape is the Emerald, this though has a “step cut” as opposed to a “brilliant cut” where its facets are broad.

Take time to browse the many images and pictures of these shapes before you make your final decision, and try to judge what shape would sit well on your partner's finger.

Find out more at BlueNile.com

2. Enter Price

Once you have decided on the diamond shape you can input your desired price range or leave it blank. I recommend you don’t enter a price as you are only searching at this stage and it is much more fun and informative to see all the options - even if you can't afford them all!

3. Select Your Search

Your options are Dynamic and Basic Search. The default is Dynamic, though please note that this requires Java. If your browser does not have this plug-in please click here

Within the Dynamic Search you have the ability to narrow your search down by moving the 5 sliders for Carat, Cut, Price, Color and Clarity.

As you can imagine there is quite a bit to understanding the terminology and science of each of these subjects, fortunately just a brief understanding of each will enable you to make an educated diamond ring purchase.

♥ Carat

To begin with it is important to know that the metric carat equals 0.20gram. You should be able to chose from a scale starting at ¼ and then onto 1/3, ½, ¾, 1, 1½, 2, 3, 4, and finally 13ct. As always you will need to work within your budget and determine the maximum carat weight you can afford without making too much of a sacrifice on the cut, color and clarify. If your preference is to build an engagement ring that has a heavy carat weight you may have to select a good cut, SI1–SI2 clarity and color in the “G – J near colorless” range

Find out more at Mondera.com, About.com, Wikipedia.com and BlueNile.com.

♥ Cut

Diamond cut as used in the Four C's refers to a stones ability to reflect light, not its outward appearance. We often confuse the shape of a diamond (round, pear, emerald, etc.) with the cut.

A good cut brings out the best. Just like a good haircut enhances the face, a good diamond cut will enhance the stone. A well-cut diamond will reflect the light it absorbs back out through its top surface, or table.

The “Cut” of the diamond is often referred to as the most important characteristic because without the right cut the sparkle will be dull despite perfect color and clarity. The diamond’s brilliance or sparkle is determined by its width and depth, perfect proportions will mean the light will enter the diamond and exit in the form of maximum brilliance. If the diamond is too shallow the light will escape through the sides and if it is too deep the light will exit from the bottom.

All diamonds are graded with the following characteristics: “ideal cut”, “very good cut”, “good cut”, “fair cut” and “poor cut”. An “ideal cut”” diamond represents roughly 3% of diamond quality based on cut, a “very good cut” represents 15%, “good cut” represents 25%, “fair cut” represents 35% and “poor cut” includes all diamonds that do not meet the “fair cut” proportion standards.

In addition the polish and symmetry of the diamond are two other important factors to be taken in to considerable when studying the cut of the diamond. The polish grade describes the smoothness of the diamond's facets, a dull polish will mean a lack of sparkle. The diamond’s symmetry grade refers to the alignment of the facets, light can be misdirected if the diamond possesses poor symmetry. All diamonds are graded with a American Gem Society “AGSL” or The Gemological Institute of America (GIA) grading report. The AGSL report has the following sliding scale of ideal (ID), excellent (EX), very good (VG), and good (G). A (GIA) grading report ranks a diamond’s symmetry with a scale that starts with excellent (EX), then very good (VG), and ends with good (G).

If you retain any information from this article, make it this. The diamond's cut may be the most important feature. It is the cut that will have the most effect on how the diamond looks. A well-cut diamond will seem to generate a glow that comes from inside the stone. A poorly cut diamond will have little eye-catching sparkle. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or even a gemologist to know a well-cut diamond when you see one.

Find out more at Mondera.com, About.com, Wikipedia.com and BlueNile.com.

♥ Color

Next you need to decide the "color" of your chosen engagement diamond. The most expensive are those that have no color, known as white diamonds, these have hardly any yellow or brown in them. The scale on which the color of diamonds is measured is easy to understand as it is a simple sliding scale devised by the GIA where "D" is colorless and "Z" is yellow. In between you have grades such a "M" which is know as faint yellow and "R" known as very light yellow. Any diamonds that are graded "D" through to "F" are essentially colorless, and basically differ in transparency. These are will be highly sought after and consequently expensive. From K on, slight hints of color begin to appear.

Remember a diamond's value is strongly influenced by its color. People tend to prefer diamonds that are colorless, thus the more yellow you see - the cheaper it will be. You may also come across another color scale devised by the American Gem Society Labs. This works on grading color from zero to ten, where zero is completely colorless.

I recommend you do not buy a diamond graded with any other method than the two mentioned above.

Find out more at Mondera.com Wikipedia.com BlueNile.com and About.com for fancy diamond colors.

♥ Clarity

Next you need to select the clarity of the diamond you would like to buy. Diamonds with blemishes or inclusions are obviously not as rare as those without and hence a premium is paid for flawless diamonds. In fact if a diamond is completely free of blemishes when viewed under 10x loupe magnification it is deemed to be internally flawless (IF). The clarify ranges from IF, VVS1-VVS2, VS1-VS2, SI1-SI2 and through to I1-I3, this being a ring where inclusions are visible under 10x magnification as well as to the human eye.

After carat weight, diamond clarity has the biggest influence on price. Truly clear, faultless diamonds are rare and extremely expensive.

Most diamonds that have already been found to be jewelry grade look clear to the naked eye. Clarity is measured by what is not there. When a skilled gemologist grades a diamond's clarity, he will downgrade the stone if he finds inclusions or blemishes. Inclusions are imperfections, cracks or spots of colors within the diamond itself.

Blemishes are flaws on the exterior that may have been caused during cutting or polishing. Clarity matters because flaws affect a diamonds ability to reflect light. Obviously, you probably want to avoid diamonds in the lowest clarity grade category. Beyond that let your eye be the guide. Does the diamond sparkle? Can you see any imperfections that distract from the beauty?

Diamond clarity can be enhanced using lasers and fillings. Your diamond certificate should clearly state any treatments that have been used. Remember any clear fillings used to seal small surface cracks are not permanent and will need to be periodically inspected and perhaps replaced.

F - In this case F is a very good and very rare grade. A diamond given an F grade is judged to be flawless.

IF - These diamonds are internally flawless and also extremely rare. They may have minor surface blemishes.

VVS1-VVS2 - These grades are given to diamonds that have very, very slight inclusions that are very difficult for even an expert to detect under a microscope.

VS1-VS2 - Diamonds in this category have very slight inclusions that are not easily seen under a microscope.

SI1-SI2 - The slight inclusions in these diamonds can be seen when magnified 10 times under a microscope.

I1, I2 and I3 - Diamonds at this grade-level have inclusions that are visible to the naked eye.

Find out more at Mondera.com, About.com, Wikipedia.com and BlueNile.com.

Each diamond that fits your search criteria is listed with detailed information, including the certificate number, measurements, depth, table, gridle, culet, polish, symmetry and fluorescence.

Choosing yor setting

Once you have selected the diamond you want you are presented with a choice of settings. These include traditional solitaire setting, diamond accent setting, and gemstone accent setting. Each type of setting comes in a variety of styles, for instance the band you chose may be 18k white gold, 18k yellow gold or platinum. For example a band of platinum with a four-prong head accommodates a round diamond well, it is up to you though to study all of the alternatives.

Selecting the right ring size

Once you have selected the setting the final design choice is to decide on the ring size. Obviously for the ring to be a secret and a wonderful surprise it is different to measure your future wife's finger without her knowing. The measurement you need is in millimetres, we thus recommend you borrow a ring that you know your partners wears on her fourth ring and carefully place it on your little finger. Next make a note of wear it fits on the finger and use a piece of string or strip of paper to wrap around this point. Use a pen to mark the point that the string or paper overlaps itself, thus allowing you to measure the length in millimetres. Once you have this measurement you can use this chart to select the official size.

Alternative ways to get your partner's ring size without her knowing can be found at About.com

The only thing to do now is to pay for the price and wait for delivery within 3 - 4 weeks!

Good luck with your quest to build the perfect diamond engagement ring for your wife to be, hopefully with the information supplied above and by reading the detailed descriptions found on the merchant websites you will feel more comfortable with your purchase decisions.

Further Advice For Grooms On Buying Engagement Rings:
Engagement Ring Advice for Guys by Carly Wickell at About.com
Engagement Rings: Settings 101 at TheKnot.com
How To Buy Diamond Engagement Rings or Loose diamonds & Avoid Scams by Jeff Ostroff at BridalTips.com

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Something for the groom in your life.

Maybe you would like to give a copy of this blog to him before your big day! Scroll to just below this blog and click on the word "Print" or even "Email Article".

1. Practice, practice, practice :

This sounds so simple, but it's the most obvious things that are often neglected. Too many groomsmen think they will just "wing it" when they stand up for the toast and end up stumbling over their own words and are horrified when something embarrassing about college pranks or old girlfriends of the groom pops out their mouths. Don't let this happen to you!

Jot down your speech and ask a friend to listen to it a few times so that you are comfortable with it before the wedding day.

2. Remember, short and sweet is best :

A wedding speech may be your moment to toast the couple in style, but generally there will be at least two toasts offered, so don't feel like you have to fill lots of time. The reception will have lots of activity already planned, and you don't want to be remembered as the guy who gave that incredibly long-winded, boring speech, do you? Keep your speech to four minutes or less.

3. Censor your humor :

If you have a great story to tell about the bride, stop and think about every guest before you put it into your toast. Remember that the happy couple's parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles will all be listening to your wedding speech. Don't be the person who mortifies the couple or upsets grandma with an off-color story that should have been left untold.

The other thing to consider is the presence of children at the reception. A wedding speech that's "family friendly" will be appreciated by everyone.

4. Don't drink too much :

It's tempting to have a few drinks prior to giving your speech on the premise that it will calm your nerves, but it's a bad idea. You want to be able to speak precisely and not get flustered, so a clear head is best. This will also make it less likely for you to be tempted to ad lib something spontaneous that you could regret later. Alcohol also affects your vocal chords, and your voice won't project as far, making it difficult for some to hear the wedding speech.

5. Note cards are fine :

Don't write out the whole speech on paper because reading it word for word sounds stilted. Instead, jot down an outline on a few note cards. These are easier to hold in your hand and you can just glance down occasionally for guidance. Your wedding speech will sound much more spontaneous and you will feel confident having something to refer to if you lose track of where you are.

6. Eye contact is essential :

When you are talking about the bride and groom, make eye contact with them. It creates a bond that will draw the guests into the moment. After that, sweep the room and make eye contact with a few different guests, inviting them into the moment. A speech is so much more effective when you connect with the listeners in this way.

7. Speak s..l..o..w..l..y.. :

This is where most people who are inexperienced at making speeches fail. Anyone who is nervous in front of a crowd tends to speak more quickly and will begin to mumble. The result is that the audience can't hear them or can't understand them.

The general rule when giving a wedding speech is that if you feel like you are speaking a bit too slowly and enunciating a bit too carefully, you've probably got it just about right! Well-placed paused also add to the quality of the speech and will hold the audience's attention. Practice speaking slowly and pausing periodically so that on the big day you don't rush through your four minute speech in two minutes.

Finally, take two or three deep breaths and remember - you are toasting two people you love on their wedding day, and that's what's important!

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