The traditional roles of primary wedding planner usually fall to (a) the bride or (b) the wedding planning but it is extremely rare for the job to be passed to (c) the groom! That is exactly what happens during "Don't Tell the Bride", a brand new six-part series on BBC Three which sees grooms planning the entire wedding without any input from the bride. As the groom is banned from having contact with the bride until the wedding ceremony, the only people he can turn to for advice are his best mates.
Whilst most bride-to-be’s agree on the fact that they want their partner to be involved in the wedding planning, would any bride actually want him to organise the complete wedding day? This new reality TV show follows the husbands-to-be as, armed with a £12,000 budget and a 4 week deadline, they negotiate the ups and downs of planning the wedding day their future bride has always dreamt of. They must organize every single thing for the wedding themselves, including choosing a wedding theme, a venue, organizing the stationery, catering, transportation, photography, entertainment and the all important wedding attire.
As the average cost of a wedding in the UK at present is approximately £15,000 I think that the £12,000 budget which the show has provided the groom with is a realistic amount. Of course that depends on whether the groom is able to calculate a wedding budget and stick to it. If he can’t then he might be forced to cut costs in places his bride may not agree with on the wedding day!
Through video diaries viewers can watch the excitement and drama unfold as the wedding plans progress from both the bride and groom’s viewpoint.
Viewers will be able to witness what happens when you mix a wedding obsessed bridezilla with impressively glamorous plans for her wedding with a notoriously disorganised fiancé who is left to organise the wedding on his own in 4 weeks - it sounds like a sure-fire recipe for disaster! The couple in question, who participated in “Don't Tell the Bride”, are Katy and Sam of Weybridge, Surrey. It fell on Sam’s shoulders to organize the wedding which Katy had always wanted. However whilst she had dreamt of a stylish white and silver theme for her big day, Sam opted for a Moulin Rouge theme complete with DIY table decorations and invitations. To read more about their story click here.
Even though Katy admitted that she really enjoyed the wedding day which Sam had planned for them both, according to The Daily Mail, she said that
“Looking back, I do feel as though something was taken away from me. Not being involved in the planning myself left me feeling a little as though I had turned up at someone else's wedding rather than my own.”
Whilst this type of wedding reality show makes great viewing, I personally don’t think I could have give my husband the responsibility of planning our entire wedding. This is not because I fear he would have made terrible choices, as I trust his taste implicitly plus he is far more organized than me, however I would have hated for him to be put under that amount of pressure and stress. I think it is so important for both the bride and groom to enjoy the build-up to their wedding day.
I think that the brides featured on "Don't Tell The Bride", regardless of their partner’s wedding planning blunders, should realise how lucky they are to have a man that was willing to take on this responsibility and role.
Watch for yourself to see how each of the couples fare - "Don't Tell The Bride" is on BBC Three on November 8th at 9pm.
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What’s more difficult than delivering the perfect wedding speech? Writing the perfect wedding speech. It might seem like an easy enough task, but it can make you feel a bit like a chocoholic trapped in a chocolate factory - you know what to do, but where do you begin? Even when you’ve started putting pen to paper, you often realise that what sounded great in your head, doesn’t sound as good once it’s written down (yes, I am writing from experience)! Before you know it, your head’s banging, and you’re surrounded by torn up sheets of paper everywhere. Add to that the need to get the balance of humour and sentiment just right, and you’ll want to shoot whoever invented wedding speeches!
The main purpose of the speech is to congratulate the happy couple, and wish them all the best in their new life together. The general idea is that the father of the bride and groom keep their speeches both touching, and humorous, while the best man has to be light-hearted and entertaining. Each speech involves thanking the relevant people, a few anecdotes, and ends with a toast, which many think is just an excuse to knock back more champagne (so it’s all good)! If it’s that simple, what could go wrong?
Well, in a word, plenty! Traditional wedding speeches may follow a similar pattern, but each speech, speaker, situation etc, will undoubtedly be unique, and it’s important that each speaker knows what to say, who to thank, how to respond to a toast and to whom to propose a toast. The secret often lies in the preparation and planning process, which if done correctly, will give a focused and polished result. Everyone remembers a lousy wedding speech, where the speech is unstructured and uninteresting, the speaker incoherent and rambling, and the guests have lost the will to live. But everyone also remembers a fabulous one, which raises laughs in all the right places, and causes the odd tear to be shed. Want to know how it’s done? Keep reading!
PLANNING:
At the risk of sounding like my old English teacher, planning is essential:
♥ Have a brainstorming session, and jot down everything you might want to include in your speech. Bear in mind that you won’t need to use everything (not unless you plan on boring guests for five hours), but it gives you somewhere to start.
♥ Show your ideas to family/friends/work colleagues, and anyone else who might have anything to add.
♥ Feel free to ask around for anecdotes about members of the wedding party.
♥ It’s amazing how often random, but useful thoughts pop into your head when you least expect it, so carry a notebook around with you as much as possible to note down any ideas you might have. Unfortunately, there can be a tendency for these flashes of inspiration to occur at awkward moments, like when you’re doing 70mph down the motorway, or when there’s a long queue behind you at the supermarket checkout. These are times when it’s totally impractical to whip out your notebook (not unless you want to get hit on the head with a baguette by an irate shopper for holding up the queue), but do try to record your thoughts whenever possible, because chances are you may not remember them later.
WRITING:
This is where the fun begins, and you can finally start putting all the information together to write out your speech.
♥ Start sifting through your notes to find material you really do want to use in your speech. Remember your speech needs to be between 5-10 minutes long (preferably five), so be selective, as you can’t use everything.
♥ Start writing your first draft. You’ll probably have to redraft several times before you find a version you’re happy with, so don’t worry if your first attempt is far from perfect.
♥ Going into English teacher mode again, give your speech a beginning, a middle, and an end. This prevents your speech from sounding ‘all over the place,’ and gives it some structure and balance:
BEGINNING:
♥ Greet everyone according to the formality of the occasion (‘Ladies and Gentleman’ – formal. ‘Friends and Relatives’ – informal. ‘Hi everyone’ – what’s formality?!)
♥ Open your speech with an attention grabbing statement, to ensure everyone pays attention (Please note: Your aim is to grab their attention, not shock them into a stunned silence). You could open with a humorous statement, a relevant quotation, or by comparing the occasion, to a well known event (if any) which occurred on that date.
MIDDLE:
♥ This is the main part of the speech. You could just mention the necessary thank yous (if you wish to keep it simple), or maybe slip in one or two short stories.
♥ The father of the bride might wish to talk about what his daughter was like growing up, and remark upon what a charming, delightful, and wonderful young woman she has grown up to be (no doubt when it’s my turn, I’ll have to pay my dad to say something positive. I’ll have to pay him extra to sound convincing)!
♥ The groom can talk about your meeting, courtship, proposal, etc.
♥ The best man can talk about his friendship with the groom, and how delighted he is that his friend has found the ‘perfect woman.’
END:
♥ This is where you wish the happy couple well, and ask everyone to join you in a toast.
♥ When redrafting your speech ask someone to assist you if necessary, but avoid asking too many people for advice, as the words ‘cooks’ ‘spoils’ and ‘broth’ instantly come to mind. Ask someone whose judgement you trust.
♥ My assignments for university were littered with ‘big’ words which I’d randomly picked out of a dictionary in an attempt to make myself look clever. It didn’t work because most of the time I didn’t fully understand what the word meant (but at least my lecturers had a good laugh). The moral of the story is, use words and phrases you are familiar with, and speak in plain English so that everyone will understand. Guests will not be impressed if they have to reach for the dictionary for the duration of your speech.
BRIDE/CHIEF BRIDESMAID:
♥ The bride and chief bridesmaid – if they are planning on making speeches- are lucky in that there is no traditional set of conventions for them to follow, as women did not traditionally make wedding speeches. So you’re free to say what you like – within reason of course!
♥ As the groom has more thank yous to make than Gwyneth Paltrow did in that acceptance speech (parents for their help, guests for attending and for gifts received, best man for his help, bride for becoming his wife etc) these could be divided between the bride and groom.
♥ The bride could propose a toast to the best man, parents, or all the guests, or even to absent friends and family, if you would like to acknowledge anyone who was unable to attend or has passed away.
It is uncommon for the chief bridesmaid to make a speech, and I am thankful that I have never had to make one (though probably not as thankful as everyone else). However, if you are going to make a speech, you could:
♥ Speak for yourself and on behalf of the bridesmaids, and say how delighted and honoured you all are that you were chosen for such a special task.
♥ Add a couple of anecdotes about your friendship with the bride and groom.
♥ Propose a toast to the ushers. Which leads me to ask, why doesn’t anyone acknowledge the ushers in speeches? Handing out buttonholes, hymn books, orders of service, helping guests to park etc. They work so hard, and get so little credit. So not fair!
GENERAL POINTERS:
♥ There are going to be people of all ages present, so make sure the language you use is appropriate for big and little ears alike.
♥ Jokes and humorous anecdotes that go down well on a night out in the pub with your mates, for some bizarre reason, aren’t always well received at weddings. Make sure the gags are suitable to the occasion.
♥ It’s all very well going down memory lane, but not if you’re going to mention rifts and other past incidents which are best forgotten. Remember, this is a real life wedding – not an episode of Eastenders!
♥ It’s acceptable to make jokes at other people’s expense if it’s done in good taste and with affection. Leave out anything that you think someone might find upsetting, or at the very least double check that it’s ok to say what you want. And only offend the bride and/or her mother if you have a death wish!
♥ Don’t be afraid to make your speech as soppy as you like. It is a wedding after all, and events like these were the reason why waterproof mascara was invented and why Kleenex is still in business. And a few (happy) tears never hurt anyone.
♥ Don’t feel under pressure to make your speech hysterically funny. If you’re not a natural born comedian, and let’s face it, we can’t all be Russell Peters, you could include some well chosen and meaningful quotations.
♥ Prepare a list of everyone you have to thank.
♥ The best speeches are not 10 hours long. Read your speech out aloud and time yourself.
♥ There are some very useful books and websites, which give great in-depth advice on how to write the perfect speech, and better still, give examples, so they’re worth checking out.
♥ There are mixed views on how to use the content found in books and on the net. Some sources have suggested that it’s fine to copy huge chunks of material and pass it off as your own. I would suggest that you look to this material for inspiration only. Aim to make your speech your own.
AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS…
… Call in the professionals. No, not Bodie and Doyle, but you’ll be pleased to know that professional speech writers who specialise in wedding speeches do exist. So if you’re still having trouble coming up with something half decent, or it’s all very last minute dot com, then it’s worth looking them up. Be warned though, they don’t come cheap, but the time saved and complete peace of mind you receive might be worth every penny.
A good speech writer doesn’t deal in standard speeches or off the peg gags. They spend a great deal of time working on personalising each speech so that it’s totally unique. Some even work alongside a professional joke writer, so there won’t be any tired old jokes. And of course you can always take the credit for having written a witty, sentimental, and thought provoking speech!
Is waltzing round the dance floor at your wedding reception to the gentle crooning of Celine Dion not enough of a show-stopper for you? Perhaps you want to make a bold statement and have your first dance stand out in the memories of your guests. One of the hottest wedding trends is to learn a choreographed routine for your first dance as husband and wife. As I mentioned in my previous blog increasing numbers of newlyweds are abandoning waltzing to traditional classics and instead are performing strategically planned dance displays to music such as the signature tune to Dirty Dancing, MC Hammer's “Can't Touch This” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”.
According to Adam Gardner and Gemma Rogers of wedding dance company First Dance UK,
"It's very rare for a couple to just ask to be taught the waltz. A lot of the requests are weird and wonderful”.
You only have to take a look at one of the many videos of other couples performing their first dance on YouTube or GoogleVideo to see this for yourself. I’m just hoping one of the couples whose weddings I am due to attend later this year decide to copy the Austin Powers theme tune dance – it looks hilarious!
Whilst I’ve mentioned before that I love newlyweds Brian and Sandy Lundmark’s awe-inspiring rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance, I have to say my new personal favorite amongst the first dance wedding videos on You Tube is the body popping couple – it is so cool.
This is a wedding trend which does not look likely to end anytime soon. In fact UKTV Style have devoted a new show, “First Dance”, to just that! Each show follows one of 15 couples on their journey from learning their specially-choreographed secret routine to executing it at their wedding reception. According to the Sun Newspaper newlyweds Andrea and George Georgiou from Edmonton, who feature in the show, said they wanted to try something a bit different for their wedding day. They spent weeks preparing for their first dance to perform in front of their 500 wedding guests and their verdict was,
"It was a bit nerve wracking but when it came to do the dance, all the lights went down and everyone was laughing and cheering as we performed. It was amazing."
If you want your first dance to be a show-stopper and know nothing at all about dancing above and beyond a quick boogie at your local club then perhaps you should think about engaging the services of a dance choreographer. Companies such as First Dance UK offer a helping hand by teaching couples how to put together a dance routine for their wedding to surprise their guests. The choreographers can come to your own home and teach you a unique routine tailor-made to your choice of song and to your dancing ability. You don’t need to have any previous dance experience. A 1 hour trial lesson, costing £60, is recommended if you simply want to learn a few basic moves that you can link together for your first dance song. Alternatively, if you want to learn a full routine for your first dance song they offer a package of 5 lessons for £250.
Whatever you decide to do before you embark on the challenge of organizing your first dance here are some tips:
Top Tips For Orchestrating Your First Dance
Initial decisions
♥ You don’t have to be an exhibitionist to try a choreographed first dance - nobody is going to force you to re-enact the legendary dance sequence from Dirty Dancing. You could try something as straightforward as learning how to foxtrot round the dance floor or a few simple spins, dips and salsa moves. Whatever you do it is sure to be memorable to both you and your wedding guests (hopefully for the right reasons!).
♥ You can choose private lessons with a choreographer, as mentioned above, or opt for the cheaper alternative which is group classes at your local community center or school.
♥ If you are on a tight budget and cannot factor dance lessons into your wedding plans then how about working out your own dance routine. Plenty of couples do it (take a look at the videos on YouTube to see other DIY first dances). Even if you don’t have the dancing prowess of Cheryl Burke or Patrick Swayze you can still put together a first dance sure to impress your wedding guests.
♥ Be creative! The abovementioned newlyweds who body popped their way through their first dance came up with the choreography themselves. See what unique dance ideas you and your fiancé can come up with yourselves. You don’t necessarily need a professional choreographer or dance lessons, all you need is some confidence, the desire to entertain your wedding guests and a willingness to have plenty fun.
♥ If you are looking for inspiration then look no further than the internet. As mentioned, there are hundreds of videos to choose from on the web.
♥ There are also many easy-to-follow instructional videos and DVDs available to buy or rent which can teach you dance moves in the comfort and privacy of your own home.
♥ Initially you should decide on a song you would like to dance to. There are plenty of options available to you. If you are undecided about your first dance song check the list at Firstdance.com which has a huge selection of appropriate wedding dance songs and also check out my blog.
♥ The best type of song to use for your first dance is one with a distinctive beat which is easy to hear.
♥ If you are having trouble picking a song try practicing some dance moves together to your favorite 2 or 3 songs. Settle on whichever of the songs you both feel most comfortable dancing to.
♥ Once you have chosen your first dance song let your choreographer know your choice. They might well ask you to let them have a CD copy of the song so that they can listen to it in advance of your first meeting to begin to visualize a suitable dance routine for you.
♥ It is best that you dance to recorded music so that you get used to the timing of it and know exactly what to expect on your big day.
♥ However, if you are intending to dance to live music make sure the band know how you want the song to be played. Provide them with a CD copy of the song you would like to dance to so that they can familiarize themselves with it before the wedding day. Additionally, it would be wise to hear the band play in person or request a recording of their version of your chosen song so that you can be sure they are going to play an accurate version for your first dance.
♥ Alternatively you might prefer to copy a well-known dance routine (e.g. Dirty Dancing, Thriller, Pulp Fiction) and use the specific song which goes in tandem with it.
♥ Another decision you will need to make early on is whether or not you would like your choreographed first dance to be a secret or not. Part of the appeal is surely to see your guests’ shocked reactions on your wedding day as you wow them with your first dance?
♥ Once you have decided this, consider whether you would like to invite family members or members of your bridal party to participate in the dance with you (I say participate because under no circumstances should you force an unwilling groomsman, bridesmaid etc to take part in the first dance if they are at all reluctant!). If they are agreeable you could arrange group dance lessons (see the “Thriller” video for an example of how much fun you could have as a dancing troupe).
♥ Some people feel that the first dance is the bride and groom’s moment to shine in the spotlight and thus the wedding party should not be included in it. If you feel this way but want to include them in your dance routine somehow you could have them participate in the latter part of the routine (check out the Dirty Dancing routine where the bridal party joined in at the end of the dance – it was really effective, particularly as the groomsmen were able to assist the couple with perfecting the infamous lift at the end of the song!).
♥ Alternatively you could consider a second song for the wedding party to perform their own dance routine. I absolutely love this video of the bride’s father, brother, brother-in-law and groomsman replicating Ok Go’s dance routine to “Here It Goes Again” – what a fabulous way of entertaining your wedding guests. Your only fear with something like this happening at your wedding is that they will steal you and your spouse’s thunder on the dance floor!
♥ When learning the moves for your first dance try not to be overly ambitious. There is no point in you and your fiancé pushing yourselves beyond your comfort zone – you want to look happy and comfortable during your first dance not like a couple of deer caught in headlights! Be aware of your limitations and adapt the dance to suit you and your dancing ability. For example in one of the episodes of “First Dance” the groom-to-be suffered a bad back so he opted out of lifting his bride-to-be during the first dance routine they learnt.
The 3 minute rule
♥ One of the most important things to bear in mind when choosing the song to dance your first dance to is that less is always more! You don’t want to choose a song that lasts longer than 3 minutes or you run the risk of losing your audience’s attention.
♥ Just as wedding speeches should be kept short and sweet so that they don't bore your wedding guests, the same applies with your first dance. Ok, you might have spent months practicing the moves and you really want your guests to appreciate all of your hard work, but you can achieve this in 3 minutes – you don’t have to let the first dance drag on.
♥ Remember that your first dance is supposed to be a gift to your guests not a means of torturing them!
♥ If you do choose a song which lasts longer than 3 minutes, bear in mind that you do not need to dance to the entire song. Ask your DJ or nominated person in charge of music at your reception to cut the song or fade it out after a pre-determined point or if you are having a live band ask them to play a shortened version.
♥ Alternatively you could invite your wedding party or even your guests as a whole to join you on the dance floor for the latter part of the song. Just make a decision in advance of the wedding day and let your DJ or person in charge of your music know what is going to happen once your 3 minutes in the spotlight are up!
Practice makes perfect
♥ You should plan your first dance well in advance of your wedding as you will need as much practice as possible. Ideally you should begin practicing your first dance 6 months ahead of time. If this is not possible, at the very least you should start your private lessons or your own practice sessions at least 3 months in advance of your wedding.
♥ The earlier you start practicing your dance routine the more time you will have to make necessary changes before your wedding day. Having to make last-minute alterations to your choice of music, style of dance, etc are very likely to cause you stress (something couples certainly do not need in the weeks prior to their wedding day!).
♥ First Dance UK recommend that typically couples require 5 hours of lessons to learn a first dance routine.
♥ If you are involving friends and family in your first dance routine you must find time as a group to practice together. It can sometimes be tricky to schedule practice sessions for a large group. Make sure they can all commit to the practice sessions before you start learning your dance routine. It would be a shame if members of the group decided to pull out once you have started rehearsals.
♥ Get as much practice with your fiancé as you possibly can (at least twice a week). The more you rehearse your first dance the more comfortable and confident you will feel and look on the actual wedding day.
♥ If you are having private dance lessons, practice in between them at home. All you need is half an hour here and there and a bit of clear floor space.
♥ Whilst it is important that you get to know every beat of the music in your first dance song, choreographers recommend that you practice the dance routine without the music too - this will help you to focus solely on perfecting your dance moves.
♥ Remember that you are not a professional dance duo. Don’t be too hard on each other whilst you are learning and practicing your dance routine. It is inevitable that you will make mistakes but the important thing is to keep practicing and not fall out over it.
♥ In the run up to your wedding you want to be able to enjoy your dance lessons with your fiancé so make sure you allow enough time. Taking an hour out of your schedules once a week in the busy build up to your wedding will probably be beneficial to both of you. Your dance sessions can become a date night where you spend time together and enjoy each others company away from all of your other stresses, strains and wedding preparations.
Dress to impress
♥ It is important when planning your first dance to think carefully about what you will be wearing on your wedding day. You need to be able to comfortably perform all of your dance moves.
♥ Check the length of your wedding dress. If it is too long your dancing partner might step on it during the first dance. During your dress fittings check that your heels are not likely to get caught in its hem. Ideally the hem should be at least 1.5cm off the floor.
♥ If you have a wedding train be sure that you have the option to pin it up at the back or have it attached to your wrist to keep it swept up and out of the way during the first dance.
♥ You might find that the shape of your wedding dress dictates what style of dance you are able to perform. For example, if you have chosen a dramatic ball gown style with a full skirt are you really going to be able to participate in a swing dance? If you are wearing a low cut strapless wedding dress are you definitely going to be able to execute a backward bend during the first dance without showing more than a bride should?
♥ Is your dress tight fitting? Will you be able to dance comfortably in it?
♥ If you have any worries at all about your ability to perform your chosen dance routine in your wedding attire, let your dance teacher know.
♥ You might well find that some dance moves have to be moderated if your dress restricts them. For example, if you are unable to comfortably raise your arms in your wedding dress then you will be unable to incorporate spins into your dance routine as these require you to raise you arms above your head.
♥ Whilst watching one of the first dance videos on You Tube I couldn’t help but notice that every time the groom was spinning his bride on the dance floor both he and she were catching their hands and arms on her huge tiara. If you are wearing a tiara as part of your wedding attire choose one which is not going to hinder your all important dance moves. My advice is to have a practice waving your hands above your head when choosing a suitable tiara - you might get some strange looks in the shop but it will give you one less thing to worry about during your first dance.
♥ The best thing you can do when practicing your first dance is to dress in clothing similar to that which you intend to wear on your wedding day. In last week’s "First Dance" show the choreographer arranged for a mock-up of the bride’s fish-tail wedding dress to be made up in cheap fabric for her to practice in.
♥ If the groom-to-be intends on keeping his jacket on for the first dance then it makes sense that he should practice the dance routine in a jacket. This will be a great way for him to determine whether or not his dance moves will be restricted by wearing a jacket.
♥ It is also important to make sure that you feel comfortable dancing in your wedding shoes. You should wear the shoes you plan to wear for your actual first dance to your dance lessons. This is important, so that you not only have the chance to practice your dance routine in your wedding shoes but you will also be breaking them in so that they adjust and stretch to fit your feet prior to your big day.
♥ To avoid getting your wedding shoes damaged or scuffed during dance rehearsals you could wear a similar style of shoe to get used to the heel height etc or you could protect your actual wedding shoes by covering them with athletic socks or nylon stockings.
♥ For the groom it is very important that he makes sure that the soles of his wedding shoes are suitable for the proposed dance floor surface. The last thing you want is for the groom to be sliding about the dance floor (keep in mind the episode of Friends where Chandler surprises Monica by announcing he's been taking dancing lessons but his wedding shoes are so slippery, he is incapable of dancing!).
♥ Also, if the groom is going to be wearing patent leather shoes for the dance, make sure that you break them in prior to the wedding dance as they tend to squeak when rubbed together. The solution is to rub some petroleum jelly or even hair conditioner onto the shoes where they rub.
♥ If your shoes are too uncomfortable or impractical to perform your first dance in then there is nothing to stop you changing your footwear prior to the dance.
♥ The same goes for your clothing - there is no shame in changing into an alternative outfit to perform your first dance in if you feel more comfortable doing so. Changing your clothing could be beneficial if you are copying a known dance routine (the groom in the Dirty Dancing video on YouTube changed from his wedding outfit into a black vest top and trousers, so he totally looked the part). Consider your choice of clothes carefully – are you really going to feel relaxed body popping in your voluminous princess style wedding dress!
Get to know your dance floor
♥ The last thing you want before you perform your first dance on your wedding day are any last minute surprises so make sure you know the exact layout, size and shape of your wedding reception dance floor well in advance.
♥ Even if you cannot see the actual space in situ you can at least ask the hotel or venue manager for the measurements of the dance floor you will be using on your wedding day.
♥ If you have an idea of the size and shape your dance space will be you can practice and get used to dancing in the same amount of space. Whilst watching the show "First Dance" I noticed that the choreographer marked out the dimensions of the couple’s proposed wedding dance floor on the floor of her dance studio with tape for their practice sessions. This is a great idea as it means that if you are expecting to dance in an awkward shaped dance space on your wedding day you will be well used to it. You don’t want to run the risk of having your first dance cut short as you crash into a wall or collide with a pillar do you!
♥ The size of your dance space can influence what type of dance routine you are able to perform for your first dance. If the space is miniscule you might have to moderate your routine and do similar dance moves but on a smaller scale.
♥ If possible examine the dance space in person and try dancing on it (or at the very least walking on it) with your wedding shoes on. If your chosen dance space has a highly polished floor covering such as marble you might find it to be quite slippery to dance on (again, think of Chandler in Friends ending up in the splits position on the dance floor – not how you want your wedding guests to remember your first dance!). At least if you know what flooring you will be working with in advance you can adjust your dance routine accordingly.
♥ In the same vein, if your wedding reception is going to be outdoors make sure that there is going to be a proper dance floor installed for you on your wedding day. If performing your first dance on grass is your only option then make sure you have plenty of practice dancing on this type of surface (and remember that the bride will definitely have to forsake her high heeled wedding shoes unless she wants to get stuck in the grass!).
♥ When looking at your dance space you should plan where you are going to start and end your first dance. If you are using a professional choreographer take their advice as to what will work best on your wedding day.
♥ Once you have decided, make sure that the wedding reception venue staff, DJ/band members/person in charge of your music, photographer, videographer and anyone else assisting you with your first dance (including backing dancers) know precisely where you will be entering the dance floor and where you will be exiting. You want helpers who are aware of your surprise first dance to be able to direct the wedding guests to the dance floor area at the right time and position them appropriately without any guests, venue staff or band members encroaching on your dance space!
Things to remember in the run up to your wedding day
♥ Ensure your DJ, band leader or nominated person in charge of music at your wedding reception is clear about when you are starting your dance routine and what is happening at the end of it.
♥ You are better off performing your first dance at the beginning of your wedding reception’s entertainment. Once the dance is out of the way you can relax and enjoy the rest of the party.
♥ Make sure your DJ has the correct version of the song you want to dance to – sometimes songs have alternative and remixed versions. It’s probably best to provide the DJ with a CD of your song just to be on the safe side.
♥ Keep your reception venue fully informed of your plans for your first dance. Remind them that it is a secret from the rest of your wedding party and guests so that they do not ruin your surprise and also ask that the wait staff avoid the dance floor area for the duration of your first dance.
♥ Remember to let your photographer and/or videographer in on your secret dance routine. They will need advance notice so that they can find the best viewpoint at your wedding reception to capture your dazzling performance.
♥ Discuss with your photographer what style of photos you would prefer when it comes to your first dance. Full body shots of the two of you are preferable as you don’t want your fancy footwork to be overlooked in the photos!
♥ The same applies to your videographer if you are using one. Let them know the layout of the dance floor and discuss with them the best positioning for their video cameras.
♥ When you and your other half take to the dance floor for your first dance together as a married couple everyone is going to be watching – remember though it’s not just your wedding guests who might be witnessing your first dance. Newlyweds Julia Boggio and James Derbyshire received over 1.3 million views after the video of their first dance to the Dirty Dancing tune made it onto YouTube. What a novel idea and a surefire way to make your wedding reception not only stand out in every one of your wedding guest's minds in the years to come but also capture the interest of a million YouTube viewers!
Dance tips for on the day
♥ Your partner might feel nervous about dancing in front of all of your wedding guests - before the performance tell them how much you appreciate that they are participating in this with you and give them a reassuring hug.
♥ Take time before and during the first dance to encourage each other. A smile from you is sure to do wonders for your dance partner’s confidence levels.
♥ Walk onto the dance floor with confidence and hold yourself tall and proud.
♥ Even if you are concentrating hard on remembering your dance steps, make an effort to smile.
♥ Remember to look straight ahead and not at your feet when dancing (it is tempting to watch your feet if you are trying to perform complicated dance steps).
♥ Listen to the beat of the music and make sure that you keep in time with it.
♥ Whilst it is important that you maintain eye contact with your partner, try to enjoy the moment and look out at your audience too. It will give your confidence a great boost when you see all of those familiar faces cheering you on!
♥ Also, try to look towards the photographer and videographer when you get the opportunity so that they get some good shots of your face.
♥ Try to loosen up. I have witnessed first dance routines where the bride and groom are really stiff and unnatural looking and totally look like they wish they were somewhere else. Don’t let nerves get the better of you – after all your hard work try to enjoy your first dance and have some fun.
♥ To prevent blocking each others view as you dance, the bride should try to look diagonally to her right over the groom’s left shoulder.
♥ Never surprise your partner with unrehearsed moves on your wedding day. Whilst it is great to be innovative with your dance routine prior to your big day do not try to introduce new dance moves during the first dance. You run the risk of throwing your partner off course or worse still off balance!
♥ If anything goes wrong during the first dance just smile and keep going. So long as you look like you are having fun your guests will not even notice your mistakes.
♥ Remember that you are not contestants on “Strictly Come Dancing” or "Dancing With The Stars" - your wedding guests are not judging your dancing skills! These people witnessing your first dance love you and will be enjoying seeing the two of you dance for the first time as husband and wife – that overrides any dancing faux pas you may make.
♥ No matter how relieved you feel at the end of your first dance don’t forget the most important part of it – to give your dancing partner a well-deserved kiss!
I hope that these tips have helped you decide whether or not a dazzling first dance is for you. If you are considering putting together a dance routine for your wedding to surprise your guests then I recommend you watch the show “First Dance” which airs on Sunday at 7.00pm on UKTV Style.
If you follow my advice then your first dance should be exactly what it is supposed to be – a fun and romantic experience, the memories of which will last you a lifetime!
The father daughter dance is one of the most treasured traditions in every wedding. It represents an emotionally charged moment in a father’s and a daughter’s life. Most bride-to-be’s try to select a song which best reflects their bond with their father and capture their feelings for him on their wedding day.
Whilst the most popular selections for father daughter dances at the moment include ‘Unforgettable’ by Nat King Cole/Natalie Cole, ‘What a Wonderful World’ by Louis Armstrong, ‘My Girl’ by The Temptations, ‘Butterfly Kisses’ by Bob Carlisle and ‘Through the Years’ by Kenny Rogers, one bride decided to avoid these traditional classics and instead persuaded her father to participate in a truly awe-inspiring dance. Take a look at Weddingbee.com to watch the video clip of a bride and her father dancing to Billy Idol’s ‘White Wedding’!
This bride’s video clip, like the one featured in my previous blog where a bride and groom staged a rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance, appears on YouTube which is a novel way to ensure that your wedding reception stands out, not only in every one of your wedding guest's minds in years to come, but also that of YouTube viewers.
If you too want to stage a memorable father daughter dance for your wedding all you have to do now is choose a distinctive song and convince your coy father to join you in being the star attraction at your wedding!
Whether you choose a vintage car, a stretch limo, a horse-drawn carriage (á la Jordan and Peter Andre’s wedding) or even a helicopter, there is one important consideration for a bride when choosing her wedding transportation and that is reliability. The last thing any bride-to-be wants is to arrive late for her own wedding!
That is why I was surprised to read about bride Kirsty Ainsworth. For her nuptials in Macclesfield dressed in her full-length white beaded satin wedding dress she strolled down the road from her Mum’s house to her local bus stop with her bridesmaid and patiently waited for the No 10 bus to take them both on the five-mile, 20-minute route to Macclesfield Register Office. I’ve heard of hiring a vintage red London double-decker bus and have even attended a wedding where the guests were ferried around in such a bus but I have never heard of the bride catching a lift on a public bus.
"I just wanted to do something a bit unusual and have a day to remember. I did get a few beeps, some waves and quite a lot of funny looks while I waited for the bus.”
We all know how unpunctual buses tend to be so she was very brave to risk this! I guess it provides the bride with a wonderful story to tell people about her wedding day and of course it will have saved her money – a £3.20 bus ticket compared to the average £300 spent on wedding transportation is a superb saving!
It is the norm nowadays for couples to think up different ways of ensuring their guests are entertained at their wedding. Whether they choose to arrange live music, DJ's or other forms of entertainment, one thing is for sure - newlyweds do not want their wedding guests to go home bored or disappointed.
An amazingly unique idea which Oklahoma newlyweds Brian and Sandy Lundmark came up with was to stage an awe-inspiring rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller dance. After confessing her love of the Thriller dance sequence featured in her favorite movie "13 Going on 30" Sandy asked fiance Brian to put together a dance routine for their wedding to surprise their guests. They asked members of the wedding party to participate in the dance and the whole group practiced several times a week for over a month to learn the dance moves together. The end result was a fantastically entertaining dance sequence at their wedding reception.
What a novel idea and a surefire way to make your wedding reception not only stand out in every one of your wedding guest's minds in the years to come but also capture the interest of a million YouTube viewers! This YouTube video not only featured on Good Morning America but it was also voted YouTube Video Of The Week. Take a look and see it for yourself!
Finally you would go a long way to beat Norm and Renee's first wedding dance. During the first 1 min 8 secs they dance to Jack Johnson's "Better Together" - nothing to write home about there but just wait for the change in tempo as they dance to Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel" - Not to be missed - watch the video below!
If you can't absolutely trust your best man to look after the rings in a safe and easily accessible place, it might be worth hanging on to them yourself!
Play the video for a reminder of what can happen if you don't!
I was amused to read a story about a couple who chose to say "I Boo" at their Halloween Wedding in Moundsville, West Virginia at the weekend. According to wtov9.com Alvin and Carol Stillwell exchanged their vows in full Halloween costumes and their friends and family followed the Halloween theme with their wedding attire too - there were plenty of ghosts, witches and goblins cheering the couple on!
A lot of couples, like the Stillwell's, choose to get married on Halloween because it is their favorite holiday. It is certainly one way of ensuring your wedding is remembered for years to come as it is a very unique and wacky theme.
For those of you with a fun-loving nature and a penchant for all things Halloween why not consider it as your wedding theme? Think of the abundance of Halloween decorations there are available for you to use for your wedding if you chose this theme. You could host the wedding reception in a spooky mansion or castle and decorate it with pumpkin carvings, jack-o-lanterns, candelabras, plastic spiders, skulls, bats and eerie lighting. A bubbling cauldron (using a dry ice machine) would be sure to add a spooky atmosphere to the wedding reception and you could tie in the catering to match your Halloween theme (click here to read one bride's catering choices for her wedding including a Jell-O brain mould!). You could carry the Halloween theme all the way through your wedding planning from the wedding invitations down to the cake and favors - what fun! A black wedding dress is a popular choice for Halloween brides and their wedding party and you could choose dramatic blood red roses for your bouquet. By using a Halloween theme for your wedding you would also giving your guests an opportunity to let their hair down and dress up in costumes rather than their Sunday best!
Take a look at Wednet.com for more Halloween decorating ideas.
Do bear in mind that Halloween weddings need not be tacky. If you need reassurance read the Knot's story of a couple who exchanged vows dressed in black at a gothic church in Manhattan and then celebrated their reception in a big, spooky dungeon.
Just think, you will never find a better excuse to host a Halloween party every year than it being your wedding anniversary! Use the comments section below to share your opinion - I would love to hear from you!
i-vox, the leading brand of video diary rooms, were at Earls Court a few weeks ago collecting feedback from visitors to the National Wedding Show. It got a great response and visitors and exhibitors thought it was an innovative and fun way of capturing opinion.
The format of having a room to film yourself in rather than a feedback form is one that appealed to the show organisors so they can analyze what visitors really thought of the show, and not be confined to the boundaries of written questions.
Watch my own comments from one minute 16 seconds into this video, plus a few more samples here. If you like what you see you can pop around to the next two shows in the Spring, they are Birmingham 16-18 Feb 2007 and London 23 - 25 Feb 2007.
How does this relate to weddings?
Well i-vox also offer a service where by they will set up your very own video diary room at your wedding. So instead of the usual guest book, guests can visit the room anytime they want (as it is constantly recording) to say a few words about how much they are enjoying the wedding!
A great alternative to the traditional wedding guest book. Let me know what you think of this unique idea by leaving a comment below.
Every Friday I have a chuckle! Why you may ask - well I always make the effort to visit the Frock Horror page on Bridalwave.tv.
Each week the editor Camilla Chafer picks out a horrific wedding dress she has found on the internet. It is amazing how many of the top gown designers can get it so wrong with some of their creations. Today she picks up on a dress by Benjamin Roberts, take a look this is definitely a dress of two halves!
I highly recommend you bookmark Bridalwave.tv and look forward to checking out the latest wedding dress disaster every Friday.
Usually brides have the choice between taffeta or tulle, silk or satin or even chiffon or velvet when choosing the material from which their dream wedding dress should be created. Such a decision was taken out of the equation for bride Viktoriya Shtefano when her husband-to-be, pastry chef Valentyn Shtefano, chose to create her wedding dress out of flour, eggs, sugar and caramel!
The edible wedding dress was made of 1,500 cream puffs, weighed in at 20 pounds (9 kilograms) and took Valentyn two months to make for their wedding in August 2006. Click here to see a photo of it.
"At first, he sewed empty cream puffs together, but the dress collapsed. Then, he carefully attached the puffs to a wedding dress frame, and Viktoriya spent a couple hours each night before the wedding modeling the dress as Shtefano added more puffs."
By the end of the wedding reception, bride Viktoriya didn't want to take her unique wedding dress off, much less devour it. Her dress was accessorized with a matching crown, bouquet and necklace made from caramelized sugar!
According to www.examiner.com the 28-year-old Ukranian chef is renowned in his hometown Uzhhorod for his controversial yet delicious pastries and he is fast becoming a rising star.
"For many in Uzhhorod, cake was just something to eat, not something that can also be looked at and admired."
At least wearing an edible dress to your wedding solves the dilemma of how to store the dress after the wedding - simply pull it apart and enjoy!
A seating plan is an essential piece of stationery for your wedding reception. By having a seating plan on display for wedding guests to refer to you avoid any unnecessary confusion about where they are expected to sit. Seating plans also prevent the usual chaos which can prevail if you have an open seating arrangement at your wedding reception, which traditionally begins with a mass free for all as guests seat themselves and ends with a few lonely people ambling around the reception room looking for a spare seat or a friendly face!
You can tell I am a real advocate of seating plans at weddings, so I was fascinated to come across the TheTablePlanner.com stand at the National Wedding Show last weekend. They are a table planner design company who produce stylish and distinctive table plans. I was impressed with the quality of their beautifully framed and mounted table plans and by the diverse and quirky design assortment they offer. I hardly had a chance to speak to Creative Director Mike Daniels at the show as he was surrounded by a throng of prospective bride and grooms asking questions about his funky table planners, which has to be a sign of their popularity!
“Ideal for events, functions and weddings. Thetableplanner.com offers you a fresh and exciting new idea to compliment your special occasion. We have a team of designers who will work with you to create a unique table plan for you and your guests. The table plan will then become a picture that records your cherished day as a memento of you with your family and friends.”
Take a look for yourself at the website to see the unique and distinctive array of table plans you could choose from, the themes range from “Reservoir Dogs” to “Greek Gods". The table plan designs are all created by the design team who are more than happy to custom design your table plan depending on your wedding theme, hobbies or interests. How about personalising your table plan by basing it on your favourite sport (Formula 1), your chosen honeymoon destination (Hawaii) or one of your interests (Cocktails)! I particularly liked the James Bond themed table plan which is not shown on the website but was on display at the Wedding Show - this is surely a design which prove to be popular with every groom for their own 007 wedding reception! I think that these table plans would be particularly great if you are hosting a themed wedding - you could use the design of the table plan to convey your wedding theme. I wish I had known about them when I planned my wedding as it was loosely based on a golf theme but unfortunately we did not think of carrying this through to the seating plan and table names.
Once you have chosen a table plan design all you have to do is provide the design team with the table layouts and wedding guests’ names typed in word or excel format and they create the table planner for you.
Prices for the table plans start at £395. Whilst this might seem like quite a princely sum for a table plan, do bear in mind that these table plans look like pieces of artwork and would definitely look fantastic adorning a wall in your house after your wedding as a lasting keepsake of your special day. Thetableplanner.com are also able to provide table number or name cards for each table utilising the same design theme, as well as holders for these and place cards. If your reception venue is unable to provide you with an easel or suitable wall fixture to display the table planner on then Thetableplanner.com are able to provide this too.
These table plans could bring the fun and colourful element to your wedding reception which will have your guests talking about it for years to come! This is a very original concept and I imagine it will be popular with couples who want their weddings to be unique. You will not find these anywhere else and I imagine even the most adept wedding DIY expert would not want to attempt one of these masterpieces themselves.
As all couples planning a wedding know, one of the most important aspects of planning your wedding reception catering is to ensure that all guests are fed and watered sufficient amounts. Nobody likes to think that their guests are going to slope off to McDonalds mid-way through the evening to vanquish their hunger pangs after a paltry wedding breakfast or buffet!
According to the Vermont news channel Wcax.com that is exactly what happened with a guest who had attended a wedding in Rangeley, Maine. Abigail Edmund, a 23 year old from New Hampshire, was caught by a member of staff at the Rangeley Inn after she had broken into the inn's kitchen.
"An employee spotted her at about 1:15 Sunday morning with luncheon meats and brownies and heating up some pasta."
Police arrested the hungry wedding guest and charged her with burglary, theft and criminal mischief.
I bet the bride and groom will be embarrassed when they realize they underfed this guest!
Are you looking for a fun gift for a bachelorette party or wedding? The brand “2Belles” featured on Figleaves.com offer shorts for brides and bridesmaids alike. Both have a stylish look and a flattering cut at the back, and are finished with dainty ribbons. For the bride, the short from 2Belles has “The Mrs” logo emblazoned on the back and completed by bow details on either side.
For the bridesmaid check out the bridemaid shorty with pink ribbon. They have a fun 'Bridesmaid' logo embroidered across the back of the short and it is finished with pink bow details on each side.
You can select from 3 choices: small, medium and large where small is equivalent to a US size 6.
Wedding planning is not the exclusive domain of the bride - that is Doug Gordon's point in his new book "The Engaged Groom". He takes the stance that no groom need be left out in the cold when it comes to the decision making. In fact there is plenty of scope for the groom to take charge of certain tasks and responsibilities. Indeed this book is a revelation, grooms now have the chance to get active with their very own wedding planning guide. It can be bought from Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk.
"The Engaged Groom" all started with Doug's blog called PlanetGordon.com with the first entry on the 2nd September 2003 at 6:17pm.
It read:
A Decent Proposal
I got engaged on Wednesday. Actually, that statement is a little too passive. Makes it seem like I picked up something on the way home from work or dropped a subscription card in the mailbox or developed some sort of temporary condition for which medication or a topical ointment is available from my doctor.
Let's start over.
I proposed to my girlfriend on Wednesday night.
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Do bear in mind that Halloween weddings need not be tacky. If you need reassurance read 
Are you looking for a fun gift for a bachelorette party or wedding? The brand “2Belles” featured on Figleaves.com offer shorts for brides and bridesmaids alike. Both have a stylish look and a flattering cut at the back, and are finished with dainty ribbons. 
Wedding planning is not the exclusive domain of the bride - that is Doug Gordon's point in his new book "The Engaged Groom". He takes the stance that no groom need be left out in the cold when it comes to the decision making. In fact there is plenty of scope for the groom to take charge of certain tasks and responsibilities. Indeed this book is a revelation, grooms now have the chance to get active with their very own wedding planning guide. It can be bought from 