What’s more difficult than delivering the perfect wedding speech? Writing the perfect wedding speech. It might seem like an easy enough task, but it can make you feel a bit like a chocoholic trapped in a chocolate factory - you know what to do, but where do you begin? Even when you’ve started putting pen to paper, you often realise that what sounded great in your head, doesn’t sound as good once it’s written down (yes, I am writing from experience)! Before you know it, your head’s banging, and you’re surrounded by torn up sheets of paper everywhere. Add to that the need to get the balance of humour and sentiment just right, and you’ll want to shoot whoever invented wedding speeches!

The main purpose of the speech is to congratulate the happy couple, and wish them all the best in their new life together. The general idea is that the father of the bride and groom keep their speeches both touching, and humorous, while the best man has to be light-hearted and entertaining. Each speech involves thanking the relevant people, a few anecdotes, and ends with a toast, which many think is just an excuse to knock back more champagne (so it’s all good)! If it’s that simple, what could go wrong?

Well, in a word, plenty! Traditional wedding speeches may follow a similar pattern, but each speech, speaker, situation etc, will undoubtedly be unique, and it’s important that each speaker knows what to say, who to thank, how to respond to a toast and to whom to propose a toast. The secret often lies in the preparation and planning process, which if done correctly, will give a focused and polished result. Everyone remembers a lousy wedding speech, where the speech is unstructured and uninteresting, the speaker incoherent and rambling, and the guests have lost the will to live. But everyone also remembers a fabulous one, which raises laughs in all the right places, and causes the odd tear to be shed. Want to know how it’s done? Keep reading!

PLANNING:

At the risk of sounding like my old English teacher, planning is essential:

♥ Have a brainstorming session, and jot down everything you might want to include in your speech. Bear in mind that you won’t need to use everything (not unless you plan on boring guests for five hours), but it gives you somewhere to start.

♥ Show your ideas to family/friends/work colleagues, and anyone else who might have anything to add.

♥ Feel free to ask around for anecdotes about members of the wedding party.

♥ It’s amazing how often random, but useful thoughts pop into your head when you least expect it, so carry a notebook around with you as much as possible to note down any ideas you might have. Unfortunately, there can be a tendency for these flashes of inspiration to occur at awkward moments, like when you’re doing 70mph down the motorway, or when there’s a long queue behind you at the supermarket checkout. These are times when it’s totally impractical to whip out your notebook (not unless you want to get hit on the head with a baguette by an irate shopper for holding up the queue), but do try to record your thoughts whenever possible, because chances are you may not remember them later.

WRITING:

This is where the fun begins, and you can finally start putting all the information together to write out your speech.

♥ Start sifting through your notes to find material you really do want to use in your speech. Remember your speech needs to be between 5-10 minutes long (preferably five), so be selective, as you can’t use everything.

♥ Start writing your first draft. You’ll probably have to redraft several times before you find a version you’re happy with, so don’t worry if your first attempt is far from perfect.

♥ Going into English teacher mode again, give your speech a beginning, a middle, and an end. This prevents your speech from sounding ‘all over the place,’ and gives it some structure and balance:

BEGINNING:

♥ Greet everyone according to the formality of the occasion (‘Ladies and Gentleman’ – formal. ‘Friends and Relatives’ – informal. ‘Hi everyone’ – what’s formality?!)

♥ Open your speech with an attention grabbing statement, to ensure everyone pays attention (Please note: Your aim is to grab their attention, not shock them into a stunned silence). You could open with a humorous statement, a relevant quotation, or by comparing the occasion, to a well known event (if any) which occurred on that date.

MIDDLE:

♥ This is the main part of the speech. You could just mention the necessary thank yous (if you wish to keep it simple), or maybe slip in one or two short stories.

♥ The father of the bride might wish to talk about what his daughter was like growing up, and remark upon what a charming, delightful, and wonderful young woman she has grown up to be (no doubt when it’s my turn, I’ll have to pay my dad to say something positive. I’ll have to pay him extra to sound convincing)!

♥ The groom can talk about your meeting, courtship, proposal, etc.

♥ The best man can talk about his friendship with the groom, and how delighted he is that his friend has found the ‘perfect woman.’

END:

♥ This is where you wish the happy couple well, and ask everyone to join you in a toast.

♥ When redrafting your speech ask someone to assist you if necessary, but avoid asking too many people for advice, as the words ‘cooks’ ‘spoils’ and ‘broth’ instantly come to mind. Ask someone whose judgement you trust.

♥ My assignments for university were littered with ‘big’ words which I’d randomly picked out of a dictionary in an attempt to make myself look clever. It didn’t work because most of the time I didn’t fully understand what the word meant (but at least my lecturers had a good laugh). The moral of the story is, use words and phrases you are familiar with, and speak in plain English so that everyone will understand. Guests will not be impressed if they have to reach for the dictionary for the duration of your speech.

BRIDE/CHIEF BRIDESMAID:

♥ The bride and chief bridesmaid – if they are planning on making speeches- are lucky in that there is no traditional set of conventions for them to follow, as women did not traditionally make wedding speeches. So you’re free to say what you like – within reason of course!

♥ As the groom has more thank yous to make than Gwyneth Paltrow did in that acceptance speech (parents for their help, guests for attending and for gifts received, best man for his help, bride for becoming his wife etc) these could be divided between the bride and groom.

♥ The bride could propose a toast to the best man, parents, or all the guests, or even to absent friends and family, if you would like to acknowledge anyone who was unable to attend or has passed away.

It is uncommon for the chief bridesmaid to make a speech, and I am thankful that I have never had to make one (though probably not as thankful as everyone else). However, if you are going to make a speech, you could:

♥ Speak for yourself and on behalf of the bridesmaids, and say how delighted and honoured you all are that you were chosen for such a special task.

♥ Add a couple of anecdotes about your friendship with the bride and groom.

♥ Propose a toast to the ushers. Which leads me to ask, why doesn’t anyone acknowledge the ushers in speeches? Handing out buttonholes, hymn books, orders of service, helping guests to park etc. They work so hard, and get so little credit. So not fair!

GENERAL POINTERS:

♥ There are going to be people of all ages present, so make sure the language you use is appropriate for big and little ears alike.

♥ Jokes and humorous anecdotes that go down well on a night out in the pub with your mates, for some bizarre reason, aren’t always well received at weddings. Make sure the gags are suitable to the occasion.

♥ It’s all very well going down memory lane, but not if you’re going to mention rifts and other past incidents which are best forgotten. Remember, this is a real life wedding – not an episode of Eastenders!

♥ It’s acceptable to make jokes at other people’s expense if it’s done in good taste and with affection. Leave out anything that you think someone might find upsetting, or at the very least double check that it’s ok to say what you want. And only offend the bride and/or her mother if you have a death wish!

♥ Don’t be afraid to make your speech as soppy as you like. It is a wedding after all, and events like these were the reason why waterproof mascara was invented and why Kleenex is still in business. And a few (happy) tears never hurt anyone.

♥ Don’t feel under pressure to make your speech hysterically funny. If you’re not a natural born comedian, and let’s face it, we can’t all be Russell Peters, you could include some well chosen and meaningful quotations.

♥ Prepare a list of everyone you have to thank.

♥ The best speeches are not 10 hours long. Read your speech out aloud and time yourself.

♥ There are some very useful books and websites, which give great in-depth advice on how to write the perfect speech, and better still, give examples, so they’re worth checking out.

♥ There are mixed views on how to use the content found in books and on the net. Some sources have suggested that it’s fine to copy huge chunks of material and pass it off as your own. I would suggest that you look to this material for inspiration only. Aim to make your speech your own.

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS…

… Call in the professionals. No, not Bodie and Doyle, but you’ll be pleased to know that professional speech writers who specialise in wedding speeches do exist. So if you’re still having trouble coming up with something half decent, or it’s all very last minute dot com, then it’s worth looking them up. Be warned though, they don’t come cheap, but the time saved and complete peace of mind you receive might be worth every penny.

A good speech writer doesn’t deal in standard speeches or off the peg gags. They spend a great deal of time working on personalising each speech so that it’s totally unique. Some even work alongside a professional joke writer, so there won’t be any tired old jokes. And of course you can always take the credit for having written a witty, sentimental, and thought provoking speech!

Til next time

Lesley Anne

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Tears, tantrums, and trauma. No, I’m not talking about a kid’s birthday party, or the latest boy band breakup. Instead, I’m talking about the wedding guest list – a seemingly simple enough concept that for some reason cannot be executed without violent outbursts, emotional blackmail, or objects being flung around the room. But what is it about compiling a guest list that is so difficult?

There are two common problems – amongst others – which are encountered when compiling the dreaded guest list. The first? You know what they say about too many cooks, right? Well traditionally, the invitations are divided between three groups –the bride and groom, and the bride and grooms respective families (although if your parents are divorced and have since remarried, depending on how you wish to do things, you could be looking at a possible five way split. Yikes!) This inevitably causes problems, as everyone will have conflicting ideas on who should and shouldn’t be invited. Your mother will insist on inviting aunties and uncles you didn’t even know you had, while your father-in-law-to-be will want to invite all the members of his local darts team. And to top it all off, your fiancé wants to invite his hideous drinking pals. You’ll be left wondering if there will be any room for your friends.

And then there’s the other challenge – deciding exactly who are the right people to invite. You may be feeling on top of the world and wish to invite everyone you’ve ever known since you were five, regardless of whether you actually keep in touch with them or not. You may even feel that you have to invite everyone you know for fear of offending them if you don’t. But unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) that isn’t always possible. Your budget and the venue’s seating capacity will dictate how many people you can invite. It’s pointless inviting 450 guests, when it means you can only afford to serve them crisps and lemonade, and they’ve got to be packed into the reception like sardines. For this reason, you’ll have to streamline your guest list, and select people who mean the most to you.

Guest lists, along, with organizing seating plans, and choosing your wedding attendants can really put the stress into wedding planning. However it’s important not to let the stress get on top of you, or you may find yourself without a wedding to plan! For those of you who aren’t too sure how to get started on the guest list, here are some points to think about. And while I can’t promise it’ll be all peace and harmony at Walton’s Mountain, I hope it’ll make things a little easier. Good luck!

1. Allow yourselves plenty of time when compiling your list. There’s nothing worse than having to rush. It means you don’t get things done properly, and you feel under pressure.

2. Before your families get involved, have a brainstorming session with your fiancé. Think about the kind of wedding you really want. Do you want a big elaborate bash, or a small intimate affair? Bear in mind that at this stage nothing is set in stone, but at least it will give the chance to discuss how you see your wedding – and try to compromise if necessary.

3. Which comes first – the venue or the guest list? It’s a new take on an age-old question, and some people are confused about which they should sort out first. You have two possible options: If you’ve got your heart set on a particular venue, find out the seating capacity and work your guest list around that. Otherwise, decide how many guests you want to invite, and then find a venue which can accommodate all your guests. There’s no right or wrong way. Naturally, everything will have been finalized before you order your wedding invitations, so don’t worry.

4. You’ve got to start thinking about your budget, and what you can and can’t afford to have. Unless you’re lucky enough to be a Hollywood A lister, one of the Sultan of Brunei’s children, or your last name’s Trump, there’s a chance you won’t be able to afford a wedding with 500 guests and all the fancy trimmings. So if you want a rock star wedding, but you’re working with a luncheon meat budget, you’re going to have to make some cutbacks – somewhere! If you are adamant that you have to have the designer gown, the eight course meal, and bottles of the finest Cristal, the obvious – and most sensible solution – would be to reduce the guest list. Don’t think that just because you are having a small wedding that it will be boring. Alternatively, don’t think that your 350 guests won’t be entertained just because you’re not having a huge fireworks display.

I once went to a wedding where the reception was held in a tiny flat, there were about forty guests, no chocolate fountain, no live band, no five tiered wedding cake and – shock horror! – no elaborate floral arrangements. But I can honestly, hand on heart, say that it was without a doubt, the best wedding I’ve ever been to. There were a great mix of guests, and it was the genuinely happy people who made the event what it was. So think about what’s really important to you – what you absolutely have to have, and what you can do without.

5. This is where the fun begins! Ask both families to draft their lists. This is not the finalized list, but it would be wise at this point to let your families know what kind of a wedding you would like. If you want a small wedding, now is the time to say so, before they get too carried away.

6. Compare all lists with both families. Check, double check and treble check that you’re happy with the lists and no one important has been left out.

You should compile a main guest list, which lists all the people you can’t get married without. This includes:

i. Immediate family
ii. Close extended family
iii. Close friends

You MUST also include:

i. The clergy and his/her spouse
ii. Parents of the ring bearer and flowergirls,
iii. Spouses or partners of anyone in the wedding party.

8. You will also need a secondary list of people you can invite as your main guests drop out. I know that sounds demeaning, but be realistic, you can’t invite everyone you’ve ever said hello to in your life. And it’s not as though you have to tell them that they are on the B list! People to include on this list are those you know and like but don’t see all the time, or aren’t so close to. And remember you don’t have to invite all of them:

i. Neighbours – I shouldn’t admit to this, but I barely know my neighbours, and I wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them in the street. However that hasn’t stopped two of them from inviting me to their weddings, meaning it was either a mistake, or they were stuck for guests! There’s no need to invite the whole street – just the ones you know well.

ii. Business associates/colleagues – You are not obligated to invite those you work with for that reason alone. Invite them if you regard them as friends, you are happy to socialize with them, and most importantly, they will leave work in the office where it belongs.

iii. Guests for singles – You don’t have to allow all your single guests to bring someone. Quite often, it is the ‘plus one’ on the invitation who can really bump up the cost of the wedding. This option could be reserved for your guests who won’t know anyone else at the wedding (apart from the bride or groom that is)!

iv. Club/group/society members/ evening class students – You may have thirty plus people in a group. Can you really afford to invite them all? Are you the best of friends with all of them? Invite the ones you’re closest too.

Don’t worry about offending people. If you are not that close, they’ll probably understand why they were not invited.

9. And of course there’ll always be those you probably won’t want attending your wedding. These may include:

i. Ex partners – Brad Pitt decided not to invite former fiancée Gwyneth Paltrow to his wedding to Jennifer Aniston, while Bruce Willis happily witnessed the nuptials between ex wife Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Putting your exes on the guest list is a matter of personal choice, and it’s got to be a decision you’re both happy with. But remember if his ex is not welcome to your wedding, then you can’t sneak your childhood sweetheart’s name on the list!

ii. Children – Don’t feel guilty if you want your wedding to be a child free zone. But if kids are not invited to your wedding, make sure that it applies to ALL children, and not just some of them. That includes family, and may mean no children in the wedding party.

iii. Anti social people – It’s a sad fact that there are some people who should not be allowed out in public. So if they get embarrassingly drunk, chain smoke while others are trying to eat, are in danger of starting an argument, or use the kind of language a drunken sailor would approve of, but not your great Aunty Doris, then don’t invite them.

iv. Estranged/Long lost relatives or friends – Once you’ve announced your engagement, you can be certain that friends, acquaintances and relatives you’ve lost touch with will resurface. You don’t have to invite anyone just because you are related or because you once knew them. If you were wearing a christening robe the last time you had any contact with your godparents, I doubt it’s worth putting them on the guest list. But where relatives are concerned it is a good idea to consult your family first.

v. People you don’t like – Admit it – we’ve all got a relative or acquaintance we wish we’d never met. If you really cannot stand them, and the sight of them knocking back your champagne is likely to make you turn green and start throwing furniture about, definitely DON’T INVITE THEM!

vi. Those who didn’t invite you to their wedding – Enough said!

10. If the ceremony venue has limited seating, you might want to draw up a list of guest to invite for the evening reception, providing there’s room. But remember, you cannot invite guests to the ceremony only!

With a bit of luck, this should make things a little easier for you. And in order to avoid conflict and stress, a little give and take is required (think of it as an excercise for what lies ahead!) Think about who is paying for the wedding. If either or both sets of parents are paying/contributing to the bill, then it’s only fair that their wishes are taken into account, and some kind of comprise is reached. If you can afford to fit in a few extra guests, do so if it will make someone happy. Just make sure no one oversteps the mark, and you don’t feel coerced into agreeing to anything you don’t want – you don’t want to be a pushover either. Get the balance right, and hopefully everyone will be happy.

Til next time

Lesley Anne

As someone who is a bit fanatical about flowers - to put it mildly – I would have to say that a wedding just isn’t a wedding without stunning floral creations. Yes, I know that there’s the small matter of vowing to love, honour and cherish your beloved forever and ever amen, but people do strongly associate flowers with weddings, and this association dates back to medieval times, when various types of flowers, foliage and herbs were believed to be effective in warding off evil beings, thus ensuring a long and happy marriage. In more modern times however, most people actually do get on with their future in-laws, so flowers are used primarily for decoration, scent, and a romantic ambience!

However, there are many people who don’t want or cannot have flowers for their wedding. Naturally if you suffer from allergies, then you won’t want streaming eyes and to be sneezing your head off on a day when you should be the center of attention for all the right reasons, but you can get around the problem by using artificial flowers. These have long since shed their reputation for being plastic and tacky, and you can now get some very realistic looking flowers. I’ve made many creations using silk flowers for brides who are either on a budget, want a lasting memento of the day, or are getting hitched abroad. And seeing as I’ve yet to encounter a disgruntled bride (which makes me a very lucky florist – I just hope I haven’t spoken too soon) I guess faux flowers can be every bit as good as the real thing.

If however, you are still adamant that you do not want flowers of any kind, either because you are on a budget, you want something out of the ordinary, or you just don’t like flowers, don’t worry because you can still have some fab creations made without flowers, which will still have your guests’ jaws hitting the floor!

ACCESSORIES FOR THE BRIDE

Suitable alternatives to a traditional bouquet:

♥ What could be more delightful than a pretty lace fan or parasol? Perfect for an outdoor summer wedding.
♥ Marabou or fur (faux of course) muffs are great for a winter wedding. They look very glam, and prevent those beautifully manicured hands from becoming horribly frost bitten.
♥ You could always choose a prayer book or bible if you’re having a religious ceremony.
♥ Large conch shells look amazing and are ideal for beach or beach themed weddings.

FOR BRIDESMAIDS

Many of the ideas for bridal accessories can also be used for bridesmaids, as well as these:

♥ Bridesmaids can ditch the posy and go for a dainty little purse instead. Much more useful for holding your lippy!
♥ Fairy tale themed wedding? Then give your bridesmaids some dazzling star shaped wands. Just beware they don’t turn your groom into a toad!
♥ If you have a cute little bridesmaid of toddler age, you could always give her a doll or teddy bear – and pray it will keep her quiet!

CEREMONY DECORATIONS

♥ Ostrich or peacock feathers make a stunning alternative to floral pew ends.
♥ Elaborate bows also look great as pew ends. Don’t worry if you find bows fiddly to make (my floristry tutor had almost given up all hope of me ever making a decent bow. It’s not as easy as it looks, but I got there in the end), as you can now buy easy to assemble pull bows in virtually any shade and fabric, and they only take two seconds to form. You can even pretend you made them from scratch. One bride-to-be was howling, laughing, practically crying with relief when I introduced her to the wonderful world of pull bows, as she couldn’t make a decent bow to save her life. And if she got that emotional over bows, I’d love to have been a fly on the wall at the ceremony!
♥ If there are any pillars in the venue, you could try draping fairy lights, tulle, or organza around them.
♥ Lit candles of varying heights look amazing.

RECEPTION DECORATIONS

The following make great substitutes for floral centerpieces:

♥ A pretty or unusual lamp – funky, classic, or vintage depending on the style of your wedding. But no 100 watt bulbs – you want to create an atmosphere for your guests, not blind them!
♥ Candles. Candelabras, floating candles and candle gardens all look exquisite. And it’s even nicer if you’re using scented candles.
♥ Balloons. Many people reject this idea almost immediately, but for some reason my customers won’t get married without them! Have them personalized for that extra special touch. Choose from latex or foil, fill them with helium so that they stand upright. And as obvious as this may sound, make sure you don’t forget to attach a weight to them – unless you want to be chasing balloons all day (which might be fun for the kids).
♥ One bride who collected antique porcelain dolls over the years, placed a doll in the center of each table. Brave lady!
♥ Another bride aiming for an eclectic boho/vintage look, alternated between tealight filled birdcages and small dressmakers dummies strewn with strings of pearls and diamante for each table. These were placed on mirrored discs, and surrounded by vintage perfume bottles.
♥ If you are having a cultural themed wedding, you can choose an ornament, woodcarving etc. from the country of your chosen theme.
♥ A mini artificial Christmas tree (but not for a summer wedding)!
♥ A topiary tree using artificial materials – feathers, beads, sequins, fabric etc.
♥ In place of flower petals, scatter tables with pearls, beads, and crystals.
♥ A napkin containing a rose gives a romantic touch to each place setting. You could replace the flower with one of the following and still achieve that romantic look:
* An organza or satin bow.
* Feathers.
* Wired crystals
* Diamante brooch

Diamantes and feathers are normally used as accessories in floral arrangements. But why not ditch the flowers and opt for bouquets, buttonholes and corsages made entirely from crystals, diamante or feathers? You could even combine them for a look that is pure Vegas. All you need is the Elvis impersonator!

AU NATUREL

What about a non-floral ‘floral’ accessory? No I haven’t gone mad. It is possible to create accessories or arrangements using foliage, berries, herbs, fruit, vegetables, and spices. Simply omit the flowers. I have previously made a pomander for a Christmas themed wedding, using holly leaves and berries and mini pinecones. It looked stunning, if I may say so myself. And who can forget Victoria Beckham’s jaw dropping shower bouquet consisting of birch twigs, berries, trailing ivy, and apples, which perfectly complemented her Robin Hood theme. So if it’s good enough for the trendsetter that is Mrs. Beckham…

Flower fans like myself may still want to say it with flowers, but there are so many equally stylish, and dare I say it, more adventurous options available for those who don’t. And not forgetting that many of the accessories and arrangements described can be adorned or combined with flowers for those of you who want the best of both worlds. So you really can have your (wedding) cake and eat it!

Til next time

Lesley Anne

The wedding cake is an age old, well established tradition. Rumour has it that a single tier was broken over the heads of the happy couple, or flung at the bride’s head! But that was in the days before confetti, and thankfully that practice no longer occurs (except in soaps), or else many a bride would be spending their wedding night in A & E! Today, wedding cakes are considered to be the focal point at the reception. It has its own place and often serves an ornamental purpose (as well as an edible one), which explains why both the cake and table are so elaborately decorated. It also provides the bride and groom with that all important moment of cutting into the cake together, and feeding each other the first slice (while hoping that the snaps don’t end up in a glossy gossip weekly!)

Todays wedding cake has come a long way from the traditional (and still yummy) three tiered white iced fruit cake. Thanks to trends emanating mainly from the US, cakes now come in a variety of shapes, sizes, designs and colours. And why have fruit cake, when there’s the choice of fudge cake, sponge cake or cheesecake in a myriad of flavours, containing different fillings, toppings, icings, and frostings. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it!

However, despite this magnificent selection and overwhelming possibilities, there are those who, for many reasons, don’t want a cake of any kind, but still want the ‘cutting the cake’ pic for the wedding album. So are there other alternatives to wedding cake? The more adventurous types will be pleased to learn that there is, and they’ll be spoilt for choice!

‘CAKES’ FROM AROUND THE WORLD

Many of these ideas may be especially useful, if you’re wedding has a certain cultural theme:

♥ Dummy cakes are used in both India and Japan (although in India the top tier tends to be real). They look like the real thing, and is an excellent way of cutting down on costs. The only downside is that unless your guests enjoy the taste of cardboard or wax, they won’t be able to tuck into it.

♥ The French Croquembouche is a worldwide hit. Little choux balls filled with cream or crème patisserie (flavoured or unflavoured – it’s all good) stacked like a pyramid, stuck with caramel, topped with spun sugar and decorated with almonds. It can’t be cut into, so you’d have to smash the top of it with a hammer. Great fun I’m sure!

♥ Brazilians have the ‘Bem Casados’ as their wedding cake replacement – even though it is a type of wedding favour. This consists of two pieces of pastry sandwiched together by a sweet sticky cream, similar to caramel (doesn’t that sound divine?). They come in a range of shapes including doves, rings and hearts.

♥ Another ‘favour-come-wedding cake replacement’ is the wanda served in Italy. A type of cookie, the wandas are arranged on a separate table so that it resembles a cake. A dance is then started by the bride and groom, in which the guests join in and dance their way towards the wanda table. Each person then takes a wanda. Working up an appetite on the dance floor, followed by an attack of the munchies – sounds like another Saturday night out for me, but don’t worry if you’re not much of a dancer, as non-dancers are also allowed a cookie!

DESSERTS

Those who don’t want a cake can opt for sweets which double up as the dessert course. These can be arranged in tiers like a traditional cake. Cute little individual portions will look great too.

♥ Pavlova
♥ Jelly – Not as childish as it sounds. Filled with fruit and made with sparkling wine or champagne, it makes a great treat for the grown ups, especially in the summer. Just remember to include one alcohol free version for the kiddies!
♥ Blancmange
♥ Tiramisu
♥ Mousse or ice cream ‘cakes’

CHOCOLATE FOUNTAINS

Chocolate fountains have become party must- haves in recent years (may whoever invented this receive many blessings) and although most couples have a chocolate fountain alongside their cake, there are some who have chosen to replace the cake with the fountain. They come in a choice of plain, milk, white and pink, yes PINK, chocolate, and dipping foods include, fruit, marshmallows, mini doughnuts, profiteroles, fudge and cookies. For something a little different, try Turkish delight, nougat, honeycomb, shortbread, or dried fruit.

For those of you who are a little more health conscious, you could always opt for a delicious fruit fountain. Made from yummy crushed fruit, I’m sure you could find something to match your colour scheme (unless of course it’s navy blue).

TOTALLY UNIQUE

♥ If you’re a big fan of doughnuts, then why not select a tower of doughnuts? An idea that’s already a hit Stateside, it could prove to be quite popular here. After all, who doesn’t like doughnuts? As with cakes, you can choose a variety of fillings.

♥ Ever seen one of those wedding game shows, where one couple have to plan a wedding for another? Well I saw a really unusual idea, where instead of a cake, boxed truffles were arranged on tiers to resemble one. Unfortunately, the ‘happy’ couple were not so happy when they saw their cake, but this is a great idea for chocoholics.

♥ I don’t think you could get more unique than a tower of mini Yorkshire puddings filled with fruit and cream. It might sound strange, but one couple actually did opt for this distinctive (and no doubt delicious) creation. Kind of like an English croquembouche!

♥ My pancake chomping mate Kaz is the inspiration behind this next idea for a pancake tower. A stack of pancakes which are served to guests with a choice of fillings. Great for all pancake addicts (I know I’m not the only one)! A truly unique idea which I have yet to see (and scoff). Thanks Kaz!

♥ One bride who hated cake, but loved pie, had several tiers of different flavoured pies. This is sure to be delicious served with cream, custard, or ice cream.

SAVOURY DELIGHTS

In case you couldn’t tell, I have a serious sweet tooth. However not everyone is the same, and some people may prefer more savoury treats.

♥ Cheese cake. No, I’m not talking about an American style cheesecake topped with blueberries, but various types of cheese stacked to resemble a wedding cake, and decorated with fruit. It can be served with fruit, crackers, cold meats, chutneys, pickles and warm bread. That sounds tempting, even to me!

♥ If you’ve checked out Wedaholic, I’m sure you’ve come across the pork pie feature. Ingenious!

♥ You’ve heard of a chocolate fountain, so how about a cheese fountain? Ok, I’ve never actually seen one, and I don’t know if it exists, but as there are people out there who love cheese fondue, we’re bound to see one sooner or later.

So there you have it. There’s so much choice for those of you who don’t want a run-of-the- mill wedding cake. And it certainly beats arguing about fruit or sponge – though personally, I’d have both!

Til next time!

Lesley Anne

The bridal bouquet is probably the most important accessory for the blushing bride (well apart from the little piece of jewellery your husband-to-be is about to slip on your finger, but I’m a florist so I have to go with the flowers!) But what’s a bride to do when she wants an attention grabbing floral accessory, but thinks that traditional bouquets are so last century? Well I happen to like bouquets (and seeing as the overwhelming majority of brides won’t leave home without one I know I’m not alone here), but understandably, today’s bride who believes in the less-is-more philosophy, wants to stand out from the crowd, and that may mean ditching the mammoth bouquet in favour of something not just different, but minimal. This is especially true for those who are petite, and don’t want to be swamped by a huge bouquet, or those who want their gorgeous gown to be the main talking point, and therefore do not want it hidden behind fussy bridal flowers.

Minimal however, does by no means imply insignificant, and brides who are looking for something different are lucky in that there are many floral accessories for them to choose from, and each are as striking as traditional bouquets, and still possess that all important wow factor. (If however, you are like me and are a staunch believer in the more-is-never-enough philosophy, and would never walk down the aisle without something resembling a scaled down version of a local flower show, read on, as many of these ideas are also suitable for bridesmaids)!

SINGLE BLOOM

Ever considered a single long stemmed flower? Roses and lilies seem to be popular choices, but make sure that the flower head is quite large and fully bloomed – or you could end up looking as though you are carrying a long green stick! You could always add a little foliage and ribbon to make it look more substantial.

MINIATURE POSY

A dainty posy seems to be quite a hit in celebville. Jemma Kidd, make up artist and big sister of supermodel Jodie, chose a sweet little miniature posy, which she could clutch neatly in the palm of her hand. Christina Aguilera also had a similar posy consisting of two roses. An excellent choice for beach brides, or those wearing short dresses.

WRIST CORSAGE

A ‘hands free’ accessory so that you’re free to keep hold of you beloved all day! Some brides choose corsages which co-ordinate with their bouquet, if they are having one, but for those who want a less fussy look, a simple wrist corsage is ideal. The wrist corsage has been updated so that it includes an extension, where a smaller flower can be fastened around your finger.

POMANDER

A sphere of flowers suspended from a ribbon loop, a pomander is back in fashion, and not just as a bridesmaid’s accessory, as many brides are now opting for this exquisite accessory. Small or large flower heads can be used, but ideally they should be quite full (e.g. – rosebuds, carnations, peonies). As pomanders date back to Victorian times, they are perfect for Victorian themed weddings.

WIRED FLOWER

A really neat idea I came across, was a large ‘flower’ such as a rose or orchid, which was actually made of many petals of the same kind of flower, carefully wired together to create one large flower head. A work of art!

FLOWER FILLED HANDBAG

Very Sex in the City! A small beaded/sequined/embroidered purse or bag filled with flowers and/or trailing leaves. If you are using fresh flowers, ensure that the bag is strong enough to deal with the weight, and if you intend to use the bag afterwards (what am I talking about, of course you will), inform the florist, so that she (or he) will take extra care in lining the bag.

My absolute favourite - I love this idea for its sheer ingenuity, and because it is so unique. It also combines the two things women love – bags and flowers (maybe that should be shoes and flowers, but either way I can’t see any bride opting for a flower filled stiletto – no matter how different they want to be)!

Whether you spell it "favor" or "favour" I'm sure you'll find my second blog of interest!

QUESTION: What do you give the wedding guest who has been subjected to hours of great food, fine wine, fabulous company, and better entertainment than a night out at Shepherd’s Bush Empire?

ANSWER: A small token of your appreciation! The days when guests used to go home with a slice of cake and a doggy bag, are now a thing of the past, as more and more couples are now following the trend of giving wedding favours to their guests.

Wedding favours serve as a memento of the happiest (who said most stressful?!) day of your lives, as well as showing appreciation of your guests presence, and letting them know how pleased you are that they were able to help celebrate your nuptials. They normally co ordinate with your wedding theme, and should ideally be stamped with your own personal style.

The only problem concerning favours is that many couples don’t know what to give. I had asked one customer, who was looking for wedding favours, what she would like to give, to which she replied, exasperated, “I don’t know – just favours!” I’m sure that most people are more clued up than my learned customer, but there are still many people out there who are overwhelmed by the choice available. So what are your options?

CONFECTIONARY :

The most popular of wedding favours has to be the bonbonniere – five sugared almonds representing (let’s see if I can remember this) health, wealth, fertility, long life and… (It’ll come back to me later), wrapped in several layers of tulle. However, you don’t have to limit yourself to sugared almonds if you don’t like them, or you’re worried about guests who are allergic to nuts. I remember handing out bonbonnieres I’d made for my brother’s confirmation and hearing a teenager ask his mother what he was supposed to do with the white stones!

♥ You could always substitute sugared almonds for other sweets. Chocolate dragees, chocolate covered raisins, nuts, or coffee beans, jelly beans, truffles, or mints, are just a few options available. My personal favourite are little nuggets of sugar coated nougat. Yum!

♥ You could always use sweets which have a special meaning for the two of you. One couple gave out love hearts, because the groom used to buy them for his beloved when they started going out. All together now – aaah!

♥ If you want to forego the tulle, you could always use little boxes (cardboard or clear plastic), organza bags, fillable novelty items (bells, hearts, top hats, champagne bottles or glasses etc.)

♥ Personalised wrapped chocolate bars, which could even double up as place cards!

For those of you who want to venture away from confectionary, this is where the fun really begins.

ROMANTIC FAVOURS :

♥ Anything heart shaped – soaps, cookies, lollies etc.
♥ Welsh love spoons.
♥ Rose quartz crystal pieces presented in a small box – the stone of love. (I love this idea because it’s so unique. This is one for all us hippy chicks!)
♥ Rose scented candles.

EVERLASTING FAVOURS :

♥ Flower bulbs – A symbol of your ever growing love, and a permanent reminder of your big day.
♥ Cookie cutters.

SEASONAL FAVOURS :

♥ Chocolate eggs are perfect for a wedding at Easter.
♥ Personalised baubles suspended from a Christmas tree are perfect reminders of your Yuletide wedding.
♥ Little heart shaped scented cushions are ideal for wedding on Valentine’s Day.
♥ Monster cookies for a spooky Halloween wedding, or little scrolls containing love spells if you wish to indulge your romantic side.

PRACTICAL GIFTS :

♥ Lottery tickets – just don’t be disappointed if someone hits the jackpot!
♥ Donations made to charity on the guests behalf.
♥ Charity pin badges. One couple bought breast cancer badges for the female guests, and prostate cancer badges for the men.

PLACE CARD / TABLE DÉCOR / FAVOURS :

Personalised favours which serve as place cards and enhance the table settings are an excellent choice for couples on a budget – or those who just want more ‘minimalist’ look on each table!

♥ Small potted plants.
♥ Lit votives in votive holders. (WARNING: Guests who have had one too many will need to be reminded to blow out the flame!)
♥ Hand painted wine glasses
♥ Small picture frames, which guests can later put in a wedding photo of the two of you.
♥ One couple had pinned tiny diamante brooches to napkins. A hit with the ladies I’m sure.

SOUVENIR FAVOURS :

♥ Stick of personalised rock – great if you’re having a beach theme, or got married in a coastal town.
♥ Local West Country delicacies which include clotted cream, honey, jams, preserves, and chutneys, which can all be presented in miniature jars, as well as the most delicious fudge to die for (Yes I know we’re back to sweets again)!
♥ Nottingham lace handkerchiefs for the ladies favours.
♥ Friends of mine who married in London gave their guests miniature red double decker buses – perfect, as everyone was ferried from the church to the reception by bus!

Should you wish, you can embellish any packaging that you choose with crystals, beads, feathers, artificial flowers etc. It isn’t necessary to give all your guests the same type of favour. Many couples opt for different favours for men, women and children, which makes sense as most men probably don’t appreciate frills, and scented candles may not be the most appropriate choice for a five year old.

And finally, plan how you will present them. Many favours end up left behind as guests fail to notice them, or assume that they’re part of the wedding décor. You could place them at each place setting, or arrange them at a separate table with a sign for guests to help themselves. Perhaps your bridesmaids could help distribute them to guests (but maybe not if you have a party of 500!)

Whatever you decide to give as favours, the most important thing to make sure (apart from there being enough to go around) is that your favours have special significance to both of you and your guests.

Oh, and the fifth almond – it represents happiness. Quite obvious really!

Until next time ....all the best

Lesley Anne

Hi it's Lesley Anne here with my first blog on bridal bouquets:

Sheaf, Shower, Hand tied, or Posy?

No, we’re not talking about a new trend in utterly ridiculous names for celebrities’ offspring, but one of the most creative decisions a bride to be will have to make. So you’ve found the head turning dress, you’ve chosen a pair of gorgeous killer heels, and you’ve got enough bling to impress an American rap collective! But you’re still missing that striking stunner you want everyone to see draped over your arm. No, I’m not talking about your groom to be (though I’m sure he’s a stunner), I’m referring to the all important bridal bouquet, which no discerning bride worth her Jimmy Choos would be without!

Deciding on the perfect bouquet is a decision which takes a great deal of time and creativity, and it is a decision which must not be hurried. But where to begin? Brides today are luckier than their previous counterparts, in that they are presented with an abundance of choice in terms, of shape, style, and design. There are certain factors and influences, however, which play a huge part in the style that you choose.

Here is a comprehensive guide to choosing one of the four most popular styles:

WIRED POSY :

Ideal for those who are sweet and petite!
Complements full skirts – princess, A line, or ballerina style, or bias cut dresses.
Also suits classic straight gowns.

HAND TIED BOUQUETS :

Becoming a popular choice, these are perfect for those who:

♥ Want an understated look.
♥ Have chosen bias cut dresses or dresses with lots of detail.
♥ Are of medium height and stature.

SHOWER BOUQUETS :

A favourite choice with many brides, these are suitable for those who:

♥ Are long limbed lovelies.
♥ Have chosen a dress with a train.
♥ Are wearing a dress with a full skirt.

OVER ARM BOUQUETS :

A contemporary style, it is favoured by:

♥ Those who want to be individual!
♥ Brides with model slim figures.
♥ Those wearing detailed dresses.
♥ Brides wearing column dresses.

If you’ve just read this list and are disheartened because you think your chosen style of bouquet won’t suit you, well, don’t be! This is a guide, not an order. Work with your florist, and I’m sure she (or he) will be able to work on a design which will enhance your physical attributes, and your gorgeous dress.

But one important point to remember is proportion, proportion, proportion (or is that three points?!). This is one issue where size really does matter.

There’s nothing worse than a bouquet that makes you look wider/shorter/ lankier than you really are (well that and wearing shoes that are too big for you as I found out when I was chief bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding).

So if you’re petite and you insist on wearing a strapless dress, make sure you don’t carry a mammoth bouquet, or you’ll end up looking as though you forgot to put on your bustier in the photos, and unless you’re having a Garden of Eden themed wedding, I very much doubt that’s a good look!

Best

Lesley Anne