Something for the groom in your life.

Maybe you would like to give a copy of this blog to him before your big day! Scroll to just below this blog and click on the word "Print" or even "Email Article".

1. Practice, practice, practice :

This sounds so simple, but it's the most obvious things that are often neglected. Too many groomsmen think they will just "wing it" when they stand up for the toast and end up stumbling over their own words and are horrified when something embarrassing about college pranks or old girlfriends of the groom pops out their mouths. Don't let this happen to you!

Jot down your speech and ask a friend to listen to it a few times so that you are comfortable with it before the wedding day.

2. Remember, short and sweet is best :

A wedding speech may be your moment to toast the couple in style, but generally there will be at least two toasts offered, so don't feel like you have to fill lots of time. The reception will have lots of activity already planned, and you don't want to be remembered as the guy who gave that incredibly long-winded, boring speech, do you? Keep your speech to four minutes or less.

3. Censor your humor :

If you have a great story to tell about the bride, stop and think about every guest before you put it into your toast. Remember that the happy couple's parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles will all be listening to your wedding speech. Don't be the person who mortifies the couple or upsets grandma with an off-color story that should have been left untold.

The other thing to consider is the presence of children at the reception. A wedding speech that's "family friendly" will be appreciated by everyone.

4. Don't drink too much :

It's tempting to have a few drinks prior to giving your speech on the premise that it will calm your nerves, but it's a bad idea. You want to be able to speak precisely and not get flustered, so a clear head is best. This will also make it less likely for you to be tempted to ad lib something spontaneous that you could regret later. Alcohol also affects your vocal chords, and your voice won't project as far, making it difficult for some to hear the wedding speech.

5. Note cards are fine :

Don't write out the whole speech on paper because reading it word for word sounds stilted. Instead, jot down an outline on a few note cards. These are easier to hold in your hand and you can just glance down occasionally for guidance. Your wedding speech will sound much more spontaneous and you will feel confident having something to refer to if you lose track of where you are.

6. Eye contact is essential :

When you are talking about the bride and groom, make eye contact with them. It creates a bond that will draw the guests into the moment. After that, sweep the room and make eye contact with a few different guests, inviting them into the moment. A speech is so much more effective when you connect with the listeners in this way.

7. Speak s..l..o..w..l..y.. :

This is where most people who are inexperienced at making speeches fail. Anyone who is nervous in front of a crowd tends to speak more quickly and will begin to mumble. The result is that the audience can't hear them or can't understand them.

The general rule when giving a wedding speech is that if you feel like you are speaking a bit too slowly and enunciating a bit too carefully, you've probably got it just about right! Well-placed paused also add to the quality of the speech and will hold the audience's attention. Practice speaking slowly and pausing periodically so that on the big day you don't rush through your four minute speech in two minutes.

Finally, take two or three deep breaths and remember - you are toasting two people you love on their wedding day, and that's what's important!

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